How Did I Cope With My Autism?
Dr. Temple Grandin—a pioneer in the study of animals and a hero of mine because she has a condition similar to what I have—always cared for her cows. She believed that animals cannot be disrespected just because they are part of the natural ecosystem. Sure, we eat cows, chicken, and turkey to no end, but she believed that not one animal must be disrespected
In her life, she had help, not just from her parents, but from her peers. That's kind of what I have too. My mom helped me control my behavior as best she could, but I didn't want to do it. In my early years, my behavior would get so out of control that the dominant man would put me in hot showers and would try to drown me.
2000-2006: Early Years
I still remember the 2000-2001 period as if it were 4 days ago. My mom's boyfriend would put me in 150-170-degree hot showers, would repeatedly hit me with a belt, and even took me to a warehouse and tortured me. He tied me up, threatened me with a needle, and hit me repeatedly—with his hands. I counted more than 40 before I lost count. He tried to drown me once. That's how bad he was.
When my dad came back in October 2001, I got excited. Still, my bad behavior continued. The two worst days for me, while my dad was here, were January 21 and September 9, 2005. On January 21, I got hit almost 50 times with a belt. On September 9, 2005, I got hit about double that amount, and it felt stronger as well. On the September 9, 2005 episode, I got purple welts on my arms, shoulders, and legs. That's how bad I was hit. Also, in 2005, my behavior got so out-of-control that my parents had to call the police and send me to the hospital. In 2006, I suffered a similar fate when I got expelled and was sent to the hospital.
2006-2011: Later Years and High School
I had several crushes in middle school, but none was as unusual as twin crushes. I dealt with a crush like every single crush—just bottling up my feelings inside and stalking my crushes. I couldn't control my stalking wish, and I got in trouble. In early 2007, the twin crushes continued, and it grew. I dealt with those crushes wrongly, and it got me into trouble again toward the end of May.
Before I knew it, I was in a special program called Camp Matecumbe, where they did activities and such. It was a good program, although I didn't feel good there. Then, high school started, and by November, I had 2 crushes to contend with—a straight crush, who happened to have a boyfriend, and a lesbian crush. I stalked both crushes. I couldn't cope. In early December of 2007, I almost got put into the hospital again for crushing on a girl.
During 2008, I stalked the lesbian crush. I didn't know the right words to say. I kept calling her on my cell phone. By mid-2008, my crush eased, but I went to the hospital for misbehaving. In August, it came right back. By late 2008, this obsession towards this girl faded away.
After a trip to the hospital in February of 2009, my mom and dad both decided it was time for me to go to a group home. I couldn't believe what I had heard. I thought it couldn't be true. The first group home I went to didn't do any favors for me, but the second (and current) group home did. I lost 50 pounds in 5 months, and it actually took me by surprise.
Being in a group home over 20 miles from my previous school meant that I was to go to a new school, and that meant the school closest to the group home. It also meant a new crush, a short black girl 3 inches shorter than my present celebrity crush (my celebrity crush is 5 ft tall). Throughout my ordeal, I passed the reading FCAT, scored a total of 1370 points on the SAT, scored a 22, a 22, a 27, and a 33 on reading, English, math, and science, respectively.
The downside was that I stalked her, got a Level 1 in science, and got hospitalized twice all in May 2011. I graduated with a normal diploma, then went to college.
2011-2014: College Years
I was a genius in Miami-Dade College. The problems were that I was lazy—I slept late and woke up early, and I didn't want to do my schoolwork. Basically, that was it. The first 9 months in college started out very well. I was studying at a near-constant rate, until around mid-March 2012, and even then, I was studying at a near-constant rate. But, as time went on, and medicines changed, I slept more in class, and my attention swayed.
In February 2013, the college kicked me out, and I was left with no scholarship. So, basically, this made me a failure. In September 2013, I went into ITT and did the same thing. By July 2014, they kicked me out, so that made me a triple-double failure (triple-double because I owe more than $11,000 in school debt).
2016: Job Opportunity and Permanent Failure Status
In January 2016, I got job training. Again, I was sleeping late and not paying attention, but this time, I quit, so I didn't fail them. I failed myself. On March 22, 2016, I went to the youth fair with my family. When I came back, I behaved badly, bit my mom, and the 15-day downward spiral toward a more permanent failure began. In April, my mom became my legal guardian, and I started taking afternoon medication.
What compounded the problem was that the afternoon medication made me sleepy 82% of the time BEFORE 4:30 PM, and I would be knocked down AFTER 6:00 PM. That's both good and bad, good because I need sleep, but bad because now, I'm a permanent failure. As early as 2006, I took medication. Afternoon medication is for crazy people, I said, but the group home manager didn't think so. Still, to this day, I stick with this notion.
Disclaimer: Read Before Watching
Friends and family members of mine. I hope you don't view me differently after seeing this video. This video is only for people who fully understand me and my challenges. This video is also self-explanatory. I agreed to make this video and uploaded it to YouTube. That's why this video's up. However, it is private.
My Motions, Proving that I'm Autistic.
How I Deal With Autism
Every person deals with autism differently—some may blow a raspberry, others may repeatedly clap their hands. I deal with autism by bending my body forwards in a convulsive manner or rocking in a convulsive manner and make noises every so often.
Once, when I was younger, I used to blow raspberries in the back seat. At 7, I stopped. Now, I don't handle being restrained very well, so when I do get restrained, I yell and curse at people. When I was younger than 12 years old, I would yell and scream. Starting at 16 years old, I would curse out loud and start cursing. Of course, I can't show you video clips of older people getting restrained, so here's a video of an autistic kid getting restrained.
A Truly Autistic Child Getting Restrained By His Mom.
My life in this table.
Me in 1999-2001
Me in 2002-2006
Me in 2007-2011
Me in 2012-2017
Got Hot Showers
Hit with a belt by my dad on January 21 and September 9, 2005 (even though it hurt my dad emotionally)
Went to Camp Matecumbe in 2007 and 2008
Had 3 celebrity crushes
Tortured by my mom's boyfriend
Had 2 hospital visits
Had 4 hospital Visits
Had 7 hospital visits, including 2 consecutive visits in less than 3 hours on March 30, 2016
Didn't know what was going on.
Had Three crushes
Had Three crushes
Went to college twice, had 2 job trainings, and failed multiple times.
Experienced 1 hurricane
Experienced more than 4 hurricanes, including two hurricane strikes
Experienced a near-miss with Ike and a direct hit from Fay.
Experienced fringe effects from Issac and Sandy in 2012 and a direct Major Hurricane strike in 2017 with Irma.
Got restrained an immeasurable amount of times
Got restrained an uncountable amount of times while in 3rd through 5th grade and once in 7th grade.
Got restrained again starting in 2009. (Restrained on July 29, 2009, restrained 3 times in 2010 (including getting restrained twice within 2 days), and restrained twice in 2011, including a second anniversary special on July 29, 2011).
Restrained thrice within a 10-day span in 2012 (Starting in August 25 and ending on Labor Day), Got restrained three times in 2013, including getting restrained ON VETERAN'S DAY, been restrained 2 times in 2014 (Including trying to overpower them to no avail on August 28, 2014), Had a restraining in 2015 that sent me to the hospital, been restrained more than 7 times in 2016, and been restrained 3 times in 2017, including a restraining on August 17 that permanently humiliated me and forced me to threaten everyone, including gays and lesbians (a byproduct of my evil personality).
My conclusion is that I'm autistic, and I'm a failure. I'm a failure because I failed in college. I'll never go back to college because I fear I will fail again. Fear of failing is bad because you might never succeed without failing lots of times. The above capsule says it all. The more times you fail, the more likely you'll succeed. Only fear can break dreams. Also, fear prevents dreams from being achieved. Only by failing will people succeed.
© 2017 Erick Hernandez