How God Helped Me Heal After Losing a Loved One
I remember it as if it were yesterday. In 2010, my mother and I had just arrived home from the grocery store when two police officers met us outside to inform us that my little brother (my mother's son) had been killed. He was involved in a four-wheeler accident that took his life instantly.
Our world was shattered. We were in shock, and we felt overwhelmed by sadness, anger, and confusion. We had just seen my brother that very morning—and now he was gone. He was only fifteen years old, with his whole life ahead of him. In an instant, we were planning a funeral.
Four years later, I had finally begun to accept the loss of my little brother when another tragic event occurred. My dad, who was only 45 years old, passed away as the result of a heart attack.
Once again, I felt like my world had been shattered. I had just talked with my father a couple of days earlier—and now, two days later, he was gone.
I had lost two important people in my life. I began to sink down into a dark place that only God was able to get me out of.
The Dark Place
After the death of my father, I began to turn to drugs and alcohol to lessen the pain that I was experiencing. At the time, I felt like nothing else could help me. I became addicted to prescription drugs, not realizing I was heading down a path of destruction. During these dark moments, I did not have God in my life, and I attempted to fight this battle alone.
I felt like my world had been torn apart. I became an angry person, and I was very difficult to deal with. My difficulties not only affected me, but also my relationships with others. I found myself alone because I pushed many people away.
The death of my brother and my dad became a crutch for me. I used their deaths as a excuse to take prescription medications, drink alcohol, and take my anger out on those around me. I thought I was going to die in my misery until God came to me in a dream and told me exactly what to do.
I began praying one night, and I finally told God that I could not go on without him. My tribulations had become too overwhelming, but I knew that I had to find a way to keep living—not only for myself, but for my then-eight-year-old son.
So God revealed to me what to do in a dream; He told me I needed to get my spirits up. I did not understand what God meant by that until I came across a scripture that explained it to me. Proverbs 5:13 says, "A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit was broken."
God has the power to fix our broken hearts, but we must dispel the pride in our hearts and admit we can't do it alone. We also must be willing to allow God to heal us. We need God to get us through the storms we face each day.
You are never alone. Satan uses situations like losing a loved one to force us to do the opposite of God's will and to fool us into believing that we are alone. Satan played on my emotions, and it almost destroyed me.
If you are struggling to accept a loss of a loved one, you are not alone. God is with you, and if you draw nigh to Him, He will draw nigh to you. My decision to turn to drugs and alcohol was the wrong way path to choose, and it led to even more pain and destruction. I finally submitted myself to God, and guess what? Satan fled from me.
James 4:7 says, "Submit yourselves therefore unto God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you." By God's mercy I am still alive and no longer addicted to any medication or alcohol. Accepting and dealing with the death of a loved one is difficult. It is one of the toughest situations you could ever face—but with God's help, He will sustain you and will get you through the trial. Continue to pray and seek God with all your heart, and He will renew your strength.