9 Anger Management Tips for Teens
It’s Time to Control Your Anger
As a teenager, a lot of things are going on in your life as you strive to find your identity and transition into adulthood. There are times when you will feel angry. This is a normal emotion.
What is important is that you learn to manage your anger; that is, deal with negative feelings in a healthy manner. A common cause of anger is frustration, but you must find ways to express your frustration in an appropriate, and self-enhancing way.
Frequent outburst of anger can cause problems in your relationships with your peers, teachers, and family. Instead of allowing your anger to get out of control, try to become more self-aware, and keep in touch with your feelings. Then you will begin to see that you sometimes use your anger to cover up more painful emotions in your life that you need to deal with.
As you become aware of these feelings, take steps to deal with them before they result in unacceptable behaviors such as aggressive outbursts, verbally abusive language, or disrespectful behaviors toward authority figures like your parents and teachers. Here are nine tips to help you handle your anger, by controlling and redirecting it into constructive activities.
Anger Workbook for Teens
The workbook has activities to help teens express their feelings and manage their anger and frustrations in healthy ways. The author encourages teens to give themselves time to do all the activities and practice using the skills they learn.
Strategies to Control Anger
1. Admit Your Anger
The first step to managing your anger is to admit that you are angry. As you acknowledge that you are angry, you are better able to identify the cause, and then you can deal with your angry feelings.
2. Take Steps to Deal with Anger
It is so easy to get caught up in a conflict situation that fuels your anger. But instead of reacting to explosive situations, you can practice ways of cooling off, for example, deep breathing exercises, counting to 10, or just moving away from the situation. This gives you time to calm down, act in a responsible way, and you move to solve the problem.
3. Understand the Causes and Triggers
It is likely that many of the times you get angry, frustration is one of the core causes. Such frustrations could come from many sources. For example, you could be frustrated, if you are being bullied at school, you might feel that your parents don’t understand you, or you don’t feel good about yourself.
4. Keep a Journal
One way to identify and track your frustrations and angry feelings is to keep a journal. Record your feelings and the situations that cause anger, in your journal. This could help you to develop your self-awareness which gives you a better understanding of your emotions, such as, feelings of rejection. Then get help to deal with these emotions.
Licensed Professional Counselor, Raychelle Cassada Lohmann, in The Anger Workbook for Teens describes useful activities that could help to guide your journalling. These activities could in the long run help you to handle frustrating situations more effectively..
Managing Your Anger
Do you find it difficult to control your anger?
Important Points to Remember
- Anger is a normal emotion that usually results from frustration.
- Outbursts of anger have an adverse impact on your relationships.
- You need to find healthy ways to control yourself and express your needs.
- Self-awareness is important to controlling your anger - know what the triggers are, and recognize and admit that you are anger
- Take specific steps to control your anger.
- Promote effective communication patterns through improving your listening skills and empathy.
- Redirect your anger into more self-enhancing activities.
Teens Managing Anger
5. Seek the Support of Others
When you struggle with your feelings of anger, it is important that you talk through your feelings. Share your feelings with someone you trust and the actively listens to you, and you are likely to feel better. You could talk to your parents, a trusted friend, or your school counselor.
6. Exercise Empathy
When you are angry, it is very hard to listen to what the other person is saying. It is even more difficult to try to understand his or her point of view. Empathy is reaching out, and trying to understand the other person's perspective, even if you don't agree with it.
With practice, you can make the effort to understand other people’s perspective, and this could help you to better control your anger when you are involved in a conflict.
Strategies to Redirect Your Anger
Coupled with controlling your anger, you need to learn skills to handle and redirect your angry feelings in constructive ways to enhance your daily functioning.
1. Build Your Communication Skills
An essential ingredient to getting on with others and building relationships is good communication patterns. Practice being more assertive, as this helps you express your feelings and needs calmly and in a direct way. Avoid being defensive. Instead use “I” statements to express you needs without sounding demanding or hostile.
2. Get Involved and Find Your Purpose
Understand that your life has a purpose, and start telling yourself that you are a person of worth and purpose. Start by changing negative self-talk to more helpful thought patterns. For example, you could start telling yourself, " My life has a great purpose, and I'm moving to achieve it, day by day."
Get involved in activities that are positive and uplifting, for example, extra-curricular activities at school or volunteering in your community. As you get involved, you will find your areas of strengths, talents, your passion, and positive outlets for your energy.
3. Engage in Physical Activities.
Research shows that physical activity is not only good for your health, but it can also improve your mood and get rid of tensions and anger. When you get involved in physical activities such as sports, and you use excess energy, and you will find that you are much calmer. You can also use relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing, to cope with angry feelings.
Steps to Manage Your Anger
1. Admit that you are angry.
1. Build your communication skills.
2. Take steps to deal with your anger.
2. Find purpose for your life, get involved, and make a difference.
3. Identify the causes and trigggers of your anger.
3. Become more physically active.
Keep a journal to improve your self-awareness.
5. Get support and share your feelings.
6. Try to understand other peolpe's point of view.
Real Life Teens Share their Perspectives on Anger Management
People of all ages, including teens, sometimes find it difficult to control their anger. This could cause conflicts to escalate, and even lead to fights. These simple anger management techniques can help you to control or express your anger in appropriate ways.
Start with recognizing and admitting when you are angry, for you need to understand your own emotions. Then explore what is behind your anger, find healthy ways to get your needs met, and redirect your energies to achieve your goals and purpose in life.
Questions & Answers
© 2013 Yvette Stupart PhD