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How to Handle Annoying Behaviors of Self-Centered People

Updated on June 18, 2017
janshares profile image

As a poet, therapist, and observer of human behavior, Janis has a keen awareness of what makes people tick and behave the way they do.

The Annoyance and Charm of the Self-Centered Personality

A charming ego is sometimes mixed with self-centered traits.
A charming ego is sometimes mixed with self-centered traits. | Source

Encounters with Self-Centered People

Where do you encounter the most annoying behaviors of self-centered people?

See results

How to Identify the Self-Absorbed People Who Annoy You

Self-centered people are easy to identify but difficult to handle. They love to talk, mainly about themselves, and they can be quite dismissive about the point of view of others.

Absorbed by their grandiosity, they look down on others with an air of superiority that is frequently displayed with a "holier than thou" attitude.

This type of person is also defined by others as being incredibly annoying. We have all dealt with them in our personal relationships, brief acquaintances, in the work place, and on the streets.

Below are some of the most annoying behaviors of self-centered, self-absorbed people. You may have encountered some or all of these behaviors.

Annoying Behaviors of Self-Centered People

  1. Driving as if they own the road, refusing to wait, yield, slow down, merge, or use signals
  2. Recklessly driving at high rates of speed without concern for the safety of others
  3. Engaging in road rage
  4. Leaning on a car horn when traffic cannot move
  5. Loudly threatening to call for a manager when things don't go their way
  6. Making trivial complaints about everything
  7. Turning any conversation into a story about what happened to them, regardless of the topic at hand
  8. Loudly verbalizing irritation while waiting in line
  9. Throwing a physical or emotional tantrum or verbal rant
  10. Minimizing or ignoring the emotions of others
  11. Arriving late and making an entrance that says, "I'm here!"
  12. Unapologetic about being wrong or hurtful
  13. Dominating group conversation with interruptions or interjections
  14. Argumentative and arrogant with a need to be right
  15. Overly critical of others

Most people are far too much occupied with themselves to be malicious.

— Freidrich Nietzsche, "Human, All Too Human"

What is Self-Centeredness?

  • The New American Webster Dictionary (1995) defines self-centeredness as "absorbed in oneself."
  • Roget's Thesaurus (1985) lists self-centered as synonymous with the words, "egotistic" and "selfish."
  • The Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary (1986) defines self-centered as "independent of outside force or influence; self-sufficient" and "concerned solely with one's own desires, needs, or interests; selfish."

Note that all of these definitions seem to include the common element of "self standing alone," as if they all revolve around the individual, in his or her own world.

Self-Centered Attitudes are Difficult to Handle

A cockiness in a self-centered personality comes through without saying a word.
A cockiness in a self-centered personality comes through without saying a word. | Source

Self-absorption in all its forms kills empathy, let alone compassion. When we focus on ourselves, our world contracts, as our problems and preoccupations loom larger. But when we focus on others, our world expands.

— Daniel Goleman, "Source Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships"

Self-Centered Personality Begins with Parenting

Self-centered personality can begin early when an overindulgent parent spoils a child.
Self-centered personality can begin early when an overindulgent parent spoils a child. | Source

Self-Centeredness and its Roots in Narcissism

What makes self-centered behaviors so annoying to others is that they indicate a total disregard for the other person's opinion, value, or existence.

It appears that it's uncomfortable for self-centered people to be attentive for more than five minutes before they draw attention back to themselves to make their point which they believe to be correct.

These behaviors may have their roots in certain behavioral or personality traits that influence how the self-centered person approaches his/her environment and interacts with others.

These traits loosely fall under the definition for Narcissistic Personality which may involve a cluster of traits or a clinical diagnosis of a personality disorder. This can produce behaviors that affect the individual's ability to have healthy social interactions and close personal relationships.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is said to possibly be a result of overly indulgent parenting styles. They include but are not limited to the following list of traits and characteristics:

  • Self-absorption
  • Excessive self-love
  • Need for admiration and/or fame
  • Lack of empathy or concern for others
  • Unrealistic sense of entitlement
  • Demanding
  • Manipulative
  • Vanity and preoccupation with appearance
  • Self-assured cockiness

Unfortunately, it is difficult to contend with a self-centered person whose behavior is most likely related to imbedded traits of their personality that may not easily change.

It is well-known in the field of psychology that most personality disorders are not easy to treat.

Therefore, we are left to maneuver around or tolerate the annoying behaviors of those with whom we interact in our personal lives, work settings, or in public.

But there has to be some way to successfully handle the annoying behaviors that accompany these traits. Below are some suggested approaches to handling some situations:

How to Handle Those Annoying Behaviors

  • Ignore It - Remember, self-centered people thrive on attention. Let the road rager rage on, don't make eye-contact, focus on your own safe and defensive driving techniques, and keep your eyes on the road.
  • Deflect It - After giving the self-centered person sufficient time to go on and on, change the subject by asking a direct question that has nothing to do with them.
  • Validate It - Stroke the self-centered person's ego by validating his/her point of view; then offer your own. Remember, they just want to be acknowledged for being right.
  • Let It Go - It's not worth the stress to go back and forth with someone who is driven by his ego. Pick your battles, state your case, stand up for yourself, and let it go.
  • Avoid It - If possible, steer clear of annoying people and refrain from engagement. Put your time and energy into more positive people where you are more likely to have a productive experience.

Self-Absorbed in her Mirror

Stunning beauty can cause one to be self-absorbed.
Stunning beauty can cause one to be self-absorbed. | Source

A Message to Self-Centered Absorbed People

I'm sure that some of you reading this are saying to yourselves, "Hmmm, sounds a bit like me - whatever!" Well, forgive me if I've touched a nerve by bringing attention to certain behaviors that people encounter frequently in their daily lives.

This article is not meant to insult you, label you, or imply that you're not a decent person, any more than the images of the people featured imply that they are definitively self-centered. We all deserve the same love and respect, regardless of our irritating behaviors.

But you must admit that you can be annoying at times and not easy to deal with. To some extent, aren't we all?

Hopefully, this article will spark introspection that leads to conversations about how all of us can take a closer look at how our behaviors affect the people closest to us, prompting us to make decisions to change for the better.

© 2013 Janis Leslie Evans

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    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Interesting essay, Jan, and right on! I have pretty much eliminated these people from my personal life, but I am inundated daily with the ego-driven nonsense on the social media. They are certainly full of themselves now aren't they? :)

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 4 years ago from Washington, DC

      Yup, billybuc, you're right about that. Thank you for reading this so fast. I just clicked publish! I appreciate your visit and comments.

    • Relationshipc profile image

      Kari 4 years ago from Alberta, Canada

      I am NOT fan of self centered people...my husband works with a lot of them and if he wasn't such a patient and aware person, they would make his life a living hell.

      I find that every self centered person that I have met actually has really low self-esteem or something negative going on in their life. They are trying to make themselves feel better by talking about how great they are and making the world about them, but really their life is full of negative emotions. This helps me to deal with self centered people...I am grateful I am not like them.

      But your point about validating them really does work. It will feed their ego and allow you to move on with the conversation or interaction in a positive way. The truth is that whether we validate them or not, they are going to continue acting the way they act until they realize that it gets very little payoff.

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 4 years ago from Washington, DC

      Great comments, Relationshipc. Thank you for stopping by and reading this "fresh off the press!" I appreciate the follow, too.

    • soconfident profile image

      Derrick Bennett 4 years ago

      Wow you're this does sound a little like me, but I am trying to change.

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 4 years ago from Washington, DC

      Thanks so much, soconfident, for reading this hub and sharing that with me. I appreciate your honesty.

    • tsmog profile image

      Tim Mitchell 4 years ago from Escondido, CA

      Hello Janshares. I appreciate and thank you for this article. It has spawned thought of the article I just published and the series I am writing presently as an entrepreneurial adventure.

      I found this article interesting, flowing like a stream with its many obstacles - logs, boulders, and the waders of fly fishermen too, having a touch of poignant humor, while offering both delight and teaching.

      Knowing a tad of your work and knowledge of QiGong taught by Chunyi Lin of Spring Forest I do ponder. That in and of itself is good! Reflection similar to the purpose of the Twenty Statement Test developed by the symbolic interactionist Manford Kuhn seems apparent for this member of the audience.

      Yet, the cognitive-behaviorist may differ in perspective while contrast occurs with differing views of ego - the transcendental thought of Immanuel Kant, the psychodynamic model of Freud, its outgrowth by Erik Erikson with varying tenets, and of course the view of the death of ego with Buddhism too.

      I guess pondering the root of Narcissism would offer contrast. Going back to that Grecian myth or the story of Echo and Narcissus discovery may occur with exploration. That said one may say this reply is an act of narcissism in and of 'self?' Yet, it just may be the words of a story teller too.

      Tim

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 4 years ago from Washington, DC

      Oh Tim, your reply is amazing. You had me at "hello" and then had me LOL at the end. Thank you so very much for this thoughtful analysis of my hub. I really appreciate your comments and so glad you stopped by.

    • Ibrahim K. Shafin profile image

      Ibrahim Kamrul Shafin 4 years ago from Dhaka, Bangladesh & Washington DC, USA

      I just want to ignore.

      What's the problem if I ignore them?

      PS. Am I self-centred? How to know? Any idea?

      Thanks for the article. I mean, hub.

      Thankin'

      Shafin

      http://www.helpsleep.org/

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image

      Chitrangada Sharan 4 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Interesting and well written hub.

      I prefer to ignore self centered people. I also make all efforts to let it go and avoid it.

      One can not change other's behavior, but one can definitely have control on one's own behavior.

      Thanks for sharing this interesting hub!

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 4 years ago from Washington, DC

      Thank you for stopping by, Shafin. If you're asking yourself, you are on the right track. Pay attention to your behavior and you will know. I appreciate your comments.

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 4 years ago from Washington, DC

      Thank you very much, Chitrangada, so glad you liked this hub. You make very wise comments. I appreciate it.

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      SandCastles 4 years ago

      Good Hub; I liked the suggestions!

    • Kathryn Stratford profile image

      Kathryn 4 years ago from Manchester, Connecticut

      I was just reading up on the subject of "narcissistic personality" recently, so it was interesting to see this take on people who are self-involved. I am fortunate to not have involvement with people like that now, but I used to be close to one, and it was hard to live around him.

      I like your suggestions of dealing with them. Great article!

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 4 years ago from Washington, DC

      Thank you very much!

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 4 years ago from Washington, DC

      Thank you for reading it, Kathryn, glad you liked it.

    • rasta1 profile image

      Marvin Parke 4 years ago from Jamaica

      I enjoyed reading your article. I'd rather inflate the ego of a self centered person than risk a conflict.

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 4 years ago from Washington, DC

      You're so right about that, rasta1. Thank you for the visit and the wise comment.

    • Rebecca E. profile image

      Rebecca E. 4 years ago from Canada

      as I work in a public place I see this all the time, (customers complaining loudly ect...) but in my personal life, I avoid this kinds of people as much as I can (save for family members when I am required to see them!) excellent work done here.

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 4 years ago from Washington, DC

      Thank you so much, Rebecca, for reading and liking this hub. I appreciate the comment.

    • prospectboy profile image

      Bradrick H. 4 years ago from Texas

      Amazing hub and breakdown. Honestly one of the best hubs I've read on here. We all encounter people like this, and I personally thought about a few people that I know while reading this. The solutions that you provided for handling people like this are spot on. I incorporate a mixture of them all, but I really try to avoid people like this. I've written several articles similar to this, but the way you articulated this one is great. Voted up, rated useful, and awesome. Also sharing! Great great job ma'am!

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 4 years ago from Washington, DC

      Prospectboy, wow! I appreciate the glowing comments. I'm so glad you liked this hub and that it resonates with you. Thank you for the votes, the feedback and for sharing. It means a lot.

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 4 years ago from California

      Really a well written and well thought out article! Sharing this Jan!

    • chuckd7138 profile image

      Charles Dawson 4 years ago from Virginia Beach, VA

      Great article! Sadly, I must confess that I'm guilty. Not of the whole list, but guilty nonetheless.

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 4 years ago from Washington, DC

      Hi chuckd7138, I really appreciate your reading and confessing :-) I think it says something good about you. Thank you so much for stopping by and liking this hub.

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 4 years ago from Washington, DC

      Thanks for coming by to read this one, Audrey. I appreciate the comments and grateful for the sharing.

    • Breatheeasy3 profile image

      Breatheeasy3 4 years ago from USA

      Another brilliant piece Jan. Love reading your articles. Thanks a bunch for this. Now I have a medical term for the a-hole at my job that suffers all of these symptoms. Yes, it is very, very...very annoying and I have even considered a physical confrontation at times.

      I will use some of these methods for sure, as the real physical headaches and body aches and stress that I have endured is so not worth the argument in which it stems from. What a wonderful hub again.

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 4 years ago from Washington, DC

      Ha ha, thanks, Breatheeasy3. Glad this one resonates with you as well and will be useful. Thanks for the great comments and support.

    • agaglia profile image

      agaglia 4 years ago

      This was an interesting hub. I agree with your definitions (nice way to do those, BTW) Nice job with ideas for 'handling' these types of folks.

      I would have liked to see more info on over-indulgent children and how over-indulging leads to narcissistic behaviors.

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 4 years ago from Washington, DC

      Thank you, agaglia. I'm glad you found this hub interesting and the suggestions useful. I appreciate your thoughtful critique. You've given me an idea to expand upon for the another hub! I appreciate your stopping by.

    • coffeegginmyrice profile image

      Marites Mabugat-Simbajon 4 years ago from Toronto, Ontario

      Self-centered beings ~ they're trapped in a circle; everything closing-in caused by their own arrogance and conceit, attention seekers. There is little breath of humility which is fake, and modesty, is nowhere even near.

      Thank you for sharing, janshares. Cheers to a happy day!

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 4 years ago from Washington, DC

      Thanks for that great wisdom-filled comment, coffeegginmyrice. I appreciate that very much. Thanks for stopping by. You have a good day, too.

    • vibesites profile image

      vibesites 4 years ago from United States

      Yes, you're right.... they're not worth the stress! It's their own problem, anyway. Unless they go overboard and hurt the people close to me. But usually I just avoid those kind of people I encounter. Thanks for your post. :)

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 4 years ago from Washington, DC

      Thank you, vibesites. Glad you liked it. I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment.

    • profile image

      cbarbar 4 years ago

      Hi janshares. I love this post. I see a lot of these annoying behaviors on the street or in stores. Its too bad many of these people behave like they have a right to act this way or are not embarrassed by their behavior. Voted up!

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 4 years ago from Washington, DC

      Thanks, cbarbar. What you refer to is their sense of entitlement. I'm so glad you enjoyed the article. I appreciate the vote up!

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 4 years ago from sunny Florida

      Sadly these folks often are so consumed with their awesomeness they are oblivious to the fact that they are annoying.

      Someone I know and love is very self centered and we have learned to love her as she is as the truth is she will not change now.

      Thanks for sharing this...

      have a lovely day

      Blessings and Angels are on the way :) ps

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 4 years ago from Washington, DC

      Glad this one resonated with you, and you are so right about the obliviousness. Thanks for sharing honest wisdom. Have a blessed day, pstraubie.

    • Kasman profile image

      Kas 4 years ago from Bartlett, Tennessee

      Darnit Janshares! You touched a nerve, I want your manager, I'm lodging a complaint! How dare you describe me to a T. lol, j/k. I think it's great to speak this out because we all need to be reminded from time to time about the things we can tend to do to bother others. It's good to work on ourselves first before we try to speak to others about their issues. I have a lot of work to do on me!

      I'm sure we all display these kind of behaviors from time to time. I've had to learn how to be a lot more patient than I used to be. The funny thing is, I think God puts me in situations sometimes to help train me to be better in this. I stopped praying for patience a long time ago.......because of this, lol. Voting this bad boy up big time. Very well done.

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 4 years ago from Washington, DC

      Ha ha Kasman, you have me cracking up :-D I'm glad to hear that it resonated with you. Yes, God does put people and things in our lives at the right time. Thank you so much for those down-to-earth comments. In the short time I've connected with you here on HubPages, I've only seen a good and generous side of you so I guess you've done a lot of work already :-) I appreciate you, the visit, and the votes.

    • Writer Fox profile image

      Writer Fox 4 years ago from the wadi near the little river

      I think you are describing a classic sociopath. These people do not have empathy for others and never will. And don't get me started on how these types treat animals! It's best to avoid people you describe.

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 4 years ago from Washington, DC

      Ha ha LOL, Writer Fox, you may be right; at least with the basic characteristics that lay the groundwork for the budding sociopath. Thanks for your visit and comment.

    • Marcy Goodfleisch profile image

      Marcy Goodfleisch 4 years ago from Planet Earth

      These are outstanding guidelines for dealing with self-centered people, Jan. I like the way you give several types of scenarios when we encounter this type of personality - there's a big difference between the rude person in a store and the vain, ego-centric 'friend' we have who has to be the center of attention. Voted up and shared!

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 4 years ago from Washington, DC

      I'm so glad you like this one, Marcy. It's one of my favorites. I appreciate your observations and good points. Thank you for visiting, voting, and sharing. :-)

    • c mark walker profile image

      Charles Mark Walker 4 years ago from Jasper Georgia

      "budding sociopath" that may become a new term soon!

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 4 years ago from Washington, DC

      Ha ha, how about that. Thanks for stopping by and reading this hub.

    • Rodric29 profile image

      Rodric Johnson 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      voted up, I like this for its witty air. I think we can all be a bit annoying sometimes, but there are those who are that way all the time! Good hub.

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 4 years ago from Washington, DC

      You're right about that, Rodric29, lol. Glad you liked it, thanks for stopping by and voting up.

    • Bedbugabscond profile image

      Melody Trent 4 years ago from United States

      I have noticed that another dangerous habit of self-centered people is that they tend to engage in more texting while driving. When I comment on this I get the same general explanation that they are such wonderful drivers they can do it with no worries. Which I know is untrue.

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 4 years ago from Washington, DC

      Interesting observation, Bedbugsabscond. Dangerous behavior indeed, with no regard for safety, not the mark of a better driver. Thank you for stopping by this hub and taking the time to read it.

    • calmclinic profile image

      calmclinic 4 years ago

      It's true that self-centered people are very difficult to deal with however, if you know how to not let them get into your nerve you can actually live with them and ultimately steer them towards empathy; it's not going to be easy though. Thank you for sharing this.

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 4 years ago from Washington, DC

      You're quite welcome and thank you, calmclinic. I love your positive approach. I really appreciate your visit. Thanks for reading this hub and leaving an insightful comment.

    • PeppermintPaddy profile image

      PeppermintPaddy 4 years ago from The vast expanse of creative space (my brain)

      Yep, I know them. Can't get far enough away from them and I'm still trying to find a way for them not to get on my nerves. That's easier for others than it is for me.

    • PeppermintPaddy profile image

      PeppermintPaddy 4 years ago from The vast expanse of creative space (my brain)

      Especially on the road. I mean, I've even almost had a collision with someone who wouldn't let me enter their lane though my lane was merging with theirs.

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 4 years ago from Washington, DC

      I hear you, PeppermintPaddy, so irritating on the road. I usually just yield to them to avoid stress. Thanks for the visit and comments.

    • epbooks profile image

      Elizabeth Parker 4 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

      I think I have encountered people who have every one of those traits you described! And while I used to try to "change" them to be less annoying, I realized that you can't. So now, I just avoid anyone who is self-centered like that, if possible. On the road, it's very difficult to do, but I won't give in to road rage- too dangerous! Great hub!

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 4 years ago from Washington, DC

      Thank you, epbooks! I really appreciate those comments. It tells me that you can really relate to the hub. Thank you for your visit.

    • PHILLYDREAMER profile image

      Jose Velasquez 4 years ago from Lodi, New Jersey

      This reminds me of a very good friend of mine. She is always asking why I don't see her that often, and I don't have the heart to tell her it's because I can only stand her behavior in small doses. Self centered people come in handy when you want company, but don't want to do a lot of talking.

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 4 years ago from Washington, DC

      You crack me up, PHILLY. I'm so glad you relate to my hubs. Thank you for reading this one, it's quite popular as there are so many readers who have to deal with self-centered people in their lives.

    • PennyCarey profile image

      PennyCarey 4 years ago from Felton

      Great hub, I enjoyed reading it very much. A lot of helpful tips thank you.

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 4 years ago from Washington, DC

      You're welcome, PennyCarey. Thanks for reading it.

    • Neil Sperling profile image

      Neil Sperling 4 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      good stuff.... the validation point is bang on.

      Thanks

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 4 years ago from Washington, DC

      Thank you kindly, Neil. Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to read it.

    • toptendeals profile image

      Jason Benedict 3 years ago from Boca Raton, Florida

      I actually had some of these traits, until I met someone that was even worse than me and I realized how annoying it can be. I've definitely tried to become a more humble person and complain less about things. Good article.

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 3 years ago from Washington, DC

      Thanks a bunch, toptendeals, for the visit. Good to know you can relate and have overcome.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Self-centered people can be most stubborn and look in their way of life, difficult and will not look life in any other person's view you have accomplished an excellent hub on this topic.

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 3 years ago from Washington, DC

      Yes, DDE, they certainly can be. Thank you for reading this hub.

    • profile image

      SWF 3 years ago

      Great work, I enjoyed reading it a lot. I do have to admit that I can be a bit self-centered on the roads, but I usual restrain myself from showing my discontent to anyone outside the car.

      The reason, why I found this, was because I'm trying to understand a friend I have had since the 8th grade (12 years), who is at times very self-centered. I have no idea of his behaivour in traffic or at the job, but he is all about himself with friends. He is incredible at getting new friends or chatting up girls, but he suck at treating his long time friends properly.

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 3 years ago from Washington, DC

      SWF, thank you for you're reading this hub, so glad you enjoyed it and can relate. Your friend sounds like he enjoys being at the center, surrounded by many but doesn't do well with the linear one-on-one, lasting relationship. Perhaps he will learn to value the latter over time. I appreciate your comments.

    • profile image

      Tree 3 years ago

      I'm so glad I came across this hub! It's so funny I've been realizing more and more that most everyone I talk to at my college never care to know me. I feel like I know so much about them but they haven't a clue who I really am. I assumed they were just chatty Kathies but you're definitely right! They're very self involved! I need to follow your advice and not feed into it. Thanks for this post!

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 3 years ago from Washington, DC

      Hello Tree,

      You are quite welcome. Thanks for stopping by and reading it, glad you enjoyed it. I'm so pleased thatit helped you receive some insight into yourself and others. Please come again.

    • profile image

      Weenie 3 years ago

      My coworker loves to talk talk talk about himself and never seems interested in anything I have to say. When he has a problem, he likes to tell me all about it and usually it's a very looong story. But when I'm having a bad day and attempt to talk to him about what's troubling me, he would either look utterly bored or change the subject within 2 minutes and start talking about himself. I finally got so sick of him that I would simply avoid him and not want to be around him. I also have a friend who is this way. People like this are very selfish and only care about themselves. I would much rather spend an evening alone at home watching a good movie than to be in the company of these self absorbed people.

    • janshares profile image
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      Janis Leslie Evans 3 years ago from Washington, DC

      Your friend certainly fits the bill. It is difficult to be in a one-way friendship. I hope your decision to pull back worked out for the best. Thank you so much for your visit to this hub. I appreciate you reading it.

    • profile image

      arshiacom 3 years ago

      nice article:)

      It really helped me a lot in tackling the behavior of self centered people.

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 3 years ago from Washington, DC

      Excellent, good to know it's useful. Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to read it.

    • Sulabha profile image

      Sulabha Dhavalikar 3 years ago from Indore, India

      Dear Janshares,

      You just touched a raw nerve. I have been a victim for more than 30 years. And I hate them.

      Me thinks, these people have a series of failures behind them. And when they come face to face with someone better than them, this is the way they react so as to make the other person nervy!

      But in spite of knowing all this, I still feel nervous when I meet them!

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 3 years ago from Washington, DC

      You are right, Sulabha. Some people who feel insecure will project that feeling onto others to elevate themselves. They can be very mean so it hurts and makes you feel uncomfortable. Take care to protect yourself and rise above it. Thank you for reading this article and leaving an insightful comment.

    • Sulabha profile image

      Sulabha Dhavalikar 3 years ago from Indore, India

      Yes, you are right. I need to rise above it all. 'After all what is done is done. And nothing can undo it.' But the future, however small, still awaits me.

      Yes Janshares. I will remember your advice. And come out of this.

      God bless you.

    • profile image

      koko 3 years ago

      Now that I think about it, the friends that I have are all like that except one. It's always about them and I feel unfulfilled cuz they only want to talk about themselves.

    • profile image

      koko 3 years ago

      In fact my Dad is the worst self-centered person around.

      He had a friend of several years that abruptly ended the friendship.

      According to my Dad, he said he did not understand it, but after his last conversation with her she said to him: "Well that's just great Cliff. Now that you've talked about your life I guess there's nothing else to discuss, is there?" then hung up. She had enough of his *long* one sided phone conversations and never contacted him again.

    • Sulabha profile image

      Sulabha Dhavalikar 3 years ago from Indore, India

      Sad. But that explains all.

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 3 years ago from Washington, DC

      Wow, koko, I guess your Dad learned about himself the hard way by having to lose a friend. Thank you for reading this article. It seems that it validated what you have been seeing in your friends and your Dad for some time. Take care.

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 3 years ago from Washington, DC

      Thank you for reading.

    • profile image

      koko 3 years ago

      the crazy thing, but not unexpected, is that my Dad STILL has no clue what had happened. I have to admit I was laughing to myself.

      I have a friend that, when he calls, I make sure I have at least 60 minutes before I decide to answer his call. During his last call, I put the phone down and took a shower for 15 minutes while he was talking. When I got back to the phone there was silence so I said "oh, that's interesting" and he continued to blab about his life. Sometimes I surf the net or even cook while he talks non-stop. Then at the 60 minute mark I tell him I have an appointment (or whatever) and tell him I have to go. Hilarious!

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 3 years ago from Washington, DC

      LOL, lol, lol, too funny, koko. Thanks for sharing. Looks like you handle the behaviors of self-centered, annoying people very well. Have a great day.

    • profile image

      Gerard Smith 3 years ago

      Wow my mind is at ease because l did have a reason for turning my back on someone who was self centered !!! Oh my own self esteem gets better everyday !!!

    • profile image

      Gerard Smith 3 years ago

      Is it common in a self centered person to use a relationship / friendship as a "launching pad" in their careers and personal life ? .

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 3 years ago from Washington, DC

      Good for you Gerard Smith. Glad you found this hub article. Thanks for readiing it.

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 3 years ago from Washington, DC

      An example of that is the term "arm candy," when someone uses an attractive person to make him/herself look better or to advance a career. So yes, it is possible. Other terms include "shmoozing" or "rubbing elbows" with the right people in order to advance the self.

    • Sulabha profile image

      Sulabha Dhavalikar 3 years ago from Indore, India

      I wish to comment on Gerard Smith's comment. It sure happens. My mother in law, now 86, used her children i.e. my elder brother in law, sis-in-law and to some extent my husband to have a total control in the family. When the grandchildren protested on reaching their teens, she instigated uncle or aunt (her children) to scold and humiliate them.

      I endured this all for more than 30 years. And would have probably gone insane had I not read 'Sons and Lovers' by D.H. Lawrence during my college days. It was this reading that helped me fight back. And so our children still care for us. But my brother in law has neither a good financial standing nor any social status today. His children rarely visit him.

      But even now my mother-in-law behaves the same way. Wonder how she is going to face God when the time comes.

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 3 years ago from Washington, DC

      Wow, Sulabha, thank you for sharing your experience of how a self-centered person can be controlling and affect an entire family dynamic. Dealing with this in the family must be most difficult because you cannot easily get rid of family, especially elders. I'm glad you found a way to survive with that book. I will have to look it up. Thank you so much for your visit and comments.

    • profile image

      Faithful9 3 years ago

      I fell in love and had a child by one of the most self centered people I have ever met. It's been a nightmare. They're not very honest people either. He was in a relationship with someone else while seeing me. He said he was ended that one. It really didn't end until she found out about our child. Smh He has ana habit of disappearing and re-appearing. Stating that he still hasn't come to terms with have a now 9 year old at 54 years old. Having a child when I was 40 just seemed like the worst thing on earth to him. It was not my intention believe me. I already had two teen daughters. He stated I messed up all his plans he had for us? Plans that I wasn't aware of.smh His latest recent appearance he claimed he wanted to make things right. In a 6 months period there were empty promises, he never came to visit our son but wanted to spend time with me. Most of the time he talked about hisself and other children to me and some of his issues. Even talked about he had friends that he saw time to time. He expected me to go along with this. Smh Most of the time if I spoke about myself or our son it was dismissed. We also had conversations that led me to believe that he was watching me when we were not communicating. This is a little disturbing because he's in law enforcement and he claims he suffers from PTSD. Is possessiveness a part of this behavior trait. I think there's a lot of other issues going on. I pray he seeks help. I'm seeking help for myself in order to get over him. I pray that this traits aren't passed down to my amazing son.

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 3 years ago from Washington, DC

      I wish you peace and resolution with the help you're receiving, Faithful9. Thank you for reading, hope it was helpful.

    • Sulabha profile image

      Sulabha Dhavalikar 3 years ago from Indore, India

      Faithful9,

      All the best. Faith in yourself is of paramount importance in difficult times.

    • profile image

      Jhsparky 3 years ago

      Wow, one of the best reads I've had in a long time. I think I can better understand certain people in my life now, not tolerate them better just understand them better. Thank You.

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 3 years ago from Washington, DC

      That's wonderful to hear, Jhsparky, mission accomplished! I'm so glad you decided to stop by today and read this hub. Thank you for your comment.

    • profile image

      Jhsparky 3 years ago

      Hi Janshares, part of why I ended up here was because I was researching "internet trolls", along the way I came across an article from Manitoba, Canada. In the article it says research indicates "Trolling correlated positively with sadism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism" Have you seen this article or is this even something you would be interested in?

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      jan....Aren't these lovely individuals a joy? It's all right if you don't think so....your opinion is not really all that important to them anyway!!

      It's been quite a while since I've had the pleasure to experience the wonders of self-absorbed Royalty. Trust me, after a certain age, our radar becomes very sharp.

      Excellent hub, jan. UP+++

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 3 years ago from Washington, DC

      Hi Paula, thanks for the read and comment. Glad you enjoyed it. Always love your wisdom. I will keep my radar on high when I sense one on approach. We just don't have the time nor the energy anymore, do we? Thanks for your visit and votes. :-)

    • profile image

      Danie 3 years ago

      Hard to avoid and ignore them when they're related to you

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 3 years ago from Washington, DC

      You're right about that, Danie. Have a good one.

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      I love this hub, Jan.

      I happen to know a few self-absorbed people. I wrote a hub about "Help For The Narcissist Who Feels Shunned," and when I read self-absorbed people, Jerry Seinfield pops to mind. I cannot stand this man. In public life or on TV.

      Enough is enough.

      Or the "Deeks" character on NCIS: Los Angeles.

      But I voted Up and all the choices. You deserved it.

      Keep the great hubs rolling.

      Kenneth

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 3 years ago from Washington, DC

      Thanks for reading and liking this one, Kenneth. We all know at least one of the self-absorbed, right, lol? Appreciate the viist.

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Dear jan,

      Yep. I did enjoy this one and when I get time, I am going to go on tour of your hubs. I bet you that I will not find one I do not like.

      Have a safe night and day tomorrow.

      Kenneth

    • MarleneB profile image

      Marlene Bertrand 3 years ago from Northern California, USA

      Wow! I know people like this - people with every trait you mentioned. They are truly annoying. I did not know there was a name for their characteristic behavior. And, you are right, they are extremely annoying. I often wondered why they couldn't see that they built this "all-about-me" world. Now, after reading your hub, I get it. If it's not about them, they don't really care.

    • bethperry profile image

      Beth Perry 3 years ago from Tennesee

      Your Hub explains a lot about self-absorbed personalities. And the tips have a lot of common-sense logic in them (worth remembering for future use!). Thanks much for posting.

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 3 years ago from Washington, DC

      Yup, very true, MarleneB. I'm glad this hub helped you name and frame it. Thanks for visiting and reading.

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 3 years ago from Washington, DC

      Thank you, bethperry. Glad you liked it, appreciate the visit.

    • CrisSp profile image

      CrisSp 3 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Arrgh, I know a couple of people that falls into this category and yes they are the most annoying specially at work. Mind you, they can talk a lot about themselves and non-stop. :)

      My best move is to ignore them in a very diplomatic way. More often, I keep myself busy (or pretend to be one) just to avoid any conversation.

      Great hub, very useful and informative. You have my vote and will share.

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 3 years ago from Washington, DC

      Hi there, CrisSp. I used to know a classic one in the workplace as well. And you are so right - keep busy or pretend to keep busy, no I contact, right? LOL! Thanks so much for paying me a visit today, grateful for the vote and sharing. :-)

    • Bk42author profile image

      Brenda Thornlow 3 years ago from New York

      I've had to cut a few people like that out of my life. It's exhausting to around. Great hub. Voted up!

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 3 years ago from Washington, DC

      Thanks, glad you liked it, Bk42author. Thanks for coming by to visit and read it, appreciate the vote up!

    • rustedmemory profile image

      David Hamilton 3 years ago from Lexington, KY

      Everyone can learn something from this post. We are surrounded by self centered people!

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 3 years ago from Washington, DC

      All the time, rustedmemory. Thanks for reading and commenting.

    • Solaras profile image

      Solaras 3 years ago

      Right-on Jan! Did you know that an estimated 6% of the population has Narcissistic Personality Disorder and as much as 30% of young people can be classified as having it according to a popular personality test. Is our future doomed?

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 3 years ago from Washington, DC

      Oh my, Solaras, I didn't know of those stats. It's not surprising, though. I don't think our future is doomed but we are "doomed" to encounter absorbed people for the rest of our lives. Sounds doomy. Oh well. Thanks for stopping by and reading.

    • profile image

      caffeineQueen 3 years ago

      I must wait on these people as part of my job and often don't know how to handle it--I admit I sometimes make offhand rejoinders (e.g., a customer planted 2 pr. of shoes in front of me and said "there are 2 pair of shoes there" and I answered, "Yes, I can see that; thank you". She went ballistic, had management called on me, and demanded a "formal apology" and "reprimand" amid showering me with insults. Luckily, my manager didn't report me and kissed the customer's butt.

      (I did apologize, wanting to keep my job).

      Just prior to waiting on her, she had wanted to be waited on before my current customer, loudly announcing that her waiting time was at a premium.

      How can I learn to tolerate people who are full of themselves and are looking for a confrontation?

      Am I correct in thinking that these are people who have little control over their lives, therefore they try to maximize control over minor situations, like making a purchase?

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 3 years ago from Washington, DC

      Awful to see what you were subjected to caffeineQueen, just trying to do your job. I think you're correct about the element of wanting to have control. Don't give them that control by responding the way they're trying to get you to react. Do the opposite with a smile: "I know you're time is valuable, ma'am. I will be right with you as soon as I can."

    • profile image

      Reneekps 2 years ago

      I have an adult daughter whom I have always had trouble understanding. I suspected she had a self-absorbed personality and after reading this, I'm certain. Over the years she has shunned me for weeks or months at a time to "hurt" me for some perceived wrong.

      I recently learned that she has been "accepting" money from my elderly mother that totals in the six figure range over the past six years alone. I was devastated. As my mother's POA, I cut my daughter off. She has not spoken to me since. That includes Easter, Mothers' Day and this week - my birthday.

      I hope the actions noted in this article will help me re-establish communication and limit her ability to control the situation.

      Her behavior makes me very sad, stunned, ill, ashamed ... I've reached the point where I'm not even sure I want a relationship. I don't believe I can trust her. However, I don't want to shut communication with my granddaughter and sadly, I figure my son-in-law needs my support.

      The situation has literally made me physically ill.

      Thank you for this article.

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 2 years ago from Washington, DC

      Oh Reneekps, I really feel for your situation and hope you will find a way to take care of yourself as you contemplate whether it's worth your efforts to re-establish the mother-daughter relationship. I'm glad to hear that you found something helpful from this article. I wish you healing within and repair of your relationship with your daughter. Thank you for being so candid and for reading my article. Peace.

    • profile image

      hammy 2 years ago

      Hi janshares,

      I have come across many people like this. Cud avoid them also.

      But over the period of time my husband has become like this. He is very moody. If I don't say yes to his thoughts, it becomes hell for me.

      I don't know how to explain this. If he is in a happy mood he is a very good father. Otherwise he is engrossed in his own world, his phone, his friends. He changes his plans very abruptly and want us to change accordingly. Which is sometimes painful.

      he does self appreciation a lot and seeks the same from us.

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 2 years ago from Washington, DC

      Sounds like a difficult situation to deal with and live with, hammy. I wonder what would happen if he saw this article. It's not easy to get self-centered people to look at themselves but there's always a chance if they can be nudged in a loving way. I wish you and your family peace.

    • carrie Lee Night profile image

      Kept private 2 years ago from Northeast United States

      Voted useful and truthful :) Thank you for putting together a well organized and professional approach to this particular type of behavior. Great work ! :)

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 2 years ago from Washington, DC

      You are quite welcome, carrie Lee Night. I'm grateful for the generous comments. Thank you for visiting.

    • profile image

      Margott 2 years ago

      I assume self-centered people are all liars.

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 2 years ago from Washington, DC

      Never thought of that. But I assume some of them are too self-centered to know. Thanks for taking the time to visit and comment.

    • profile image

      Mom Mary 2 years ago

      I am now wondering if I have come as afar as I thought from my own self centered ness.

      I had a small altercation with my Husbands daughter yesterday. She is a grown woman who's MoM was very dysfunctional due to mental disabilities. So I believe the child took care of or took control of things Mom would generally be responsible for.

      I am family oriented person so I love having the kids, his or mine come to visit. My problem is the degree to which she is self absorbed.

      Yesterday getting ready to bake a roast for dinner it is 3:30 pm I have the oven heating to 375* and she says I need that for 350* to bake these apple things for breakfast. Isn't there a communication that is supposed to happen when you are in someone's space and you want to use something when it is already being used? It is her childhood home but.... I think this is how she treated her Mom.

      She constantly interrupts anyone who is talking. She is positive she is always right about everything and has to orchestrate any project anyone is doing.

      I am afraid she will never know that she is missing a huge part of life that she could get to if she would just stop being so controlling and have faith in others. Have some respect for others.

      She is sure that every person who is homeless and begging should just go get a job. When you explain that a huge percentage of homeless jobless people are mentally deficient and probably can't hold a job, it is waved off like that's ridiculous. That every Parent who uses any sort of drug should have their children taken away from them.

      If she is not the center of attention she will be very shortly somehow or another. She is very nice just very insecure and immature which somehow leads to this bossy stuff.

      My point being I upset her when I told her stop to controlling everything. That I saw it as familiar behavior. I see some of those tendencies in myself and she just needs to stop. I don't think anyone before yesterday has told her she isn't responsible for everything!!!! Am I helping or hurting? My intention is to help.

      God it's irritating!

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 2 years ago from Washington, DC

      It is irritating, Mom Mary, especially when you're trying to help. Because you see similar traits in yourself, perhaps in time you will be able to pull back a little as your compassion for her increases. Thanks for your comment and visit.

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      janshares,

      Narcissists are to me, the mpost-annoying. No matter what you say, they head you off from another person and drive you back to "them." I have had my fill of these self-absorbed people, so when I spot one heading my way to interrupt a conversation, I discretely excuse myself and walk away.

      I hope you much success on HP. And write me from time to time.

      I o

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 2 years ago from Washington, DC

      Thanks, Kenneth, for stopping by and reading this one. Good you found a way by walking away from these types.

    • mdscoggins profile image

      Michelle Scoggins 2 years ago from Fresno, CA

      Great article. I enjoyed reading about those annoying people. I chuckled a bit toward the end where you mention that some reading this will ponder if the article was speaking to them as narcissistic people rarely see their personality in this context or even a little flawed. So it probably would go right over their heads. None-the-less I really enjoyed your suggestions and tackling such an annoying set of people :)

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 2 years ago from Washington, DC

      Thank you, mdscoggins. You are probably right about most narcissists, they may not get it. But surprisingly, I got a few comments from some who did. Thanks again for stopping by and reading this article. So many people relate to this one.

    • stevarino profile image

      Steve Dowell 2 years ago from East Central Indiana

      Bingo - my Father!

      For years I've blamed his personal characteristics on Asperger's and I still believe I'm right on that assessment. If he's not an "aspie", they should just remove the syndrome all-together.

      Informative article, Thanks!

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 2 years ago from Washington, DC

      Hi there, stevarino. Glad you found this article informative. I hope it adds to or enlightens your understanding of your father. Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read and comment.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image

      Patty Inglish 2 years ago from North America

      This is a HOTD, if I ever saw one! It's a refreshing handling of mental health issues without the gossipy "diagnoses" I see all over the Internet. You are a mental health hero!

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 2 years ago from Washington, DC

      Oh my, Patty, so nice of you to say! Wow, I really appreciate that big vote of confidence from one of the best veteran hubbers on HP. Hugs to you!

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Janshares . . .

      Fine writing, my good friend.

      Keep up this great work and Happy New Year!

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 2 years ago from Washington, DC

      Thanks so much, Kenneth. I appreciate that comment. I will try to keep it up in 2015. Have a blessed one.

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Dear janshares,

      Thank you, good friend. I will try. And I will remember you throughout the year in prayer.

    • MHiggins profile image

      Michael Higgins 2 years ago from Michigan

      I can really identify with this hub, Jan. I was a claims expediter in a big box store handling product claims and installation issues. I dealt with these types of people constantly. I was there to make the situation right and constantly had to remind these types of this while they are still yelling at me. Many people tried to get me fired when I wouldn't "go along" with crazy demands. There were a few good folks now and then, but you always remember the yellers and screamers. Those days are behind me now! Again, great hub!

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 2 years ago from Washington, DC

      Yes, we have all dealt with these types along the way. It takes patience to handle them as you certainly did. Thanks for stopping by a reading this one.

    • profile image

      Cathy 2 years ago

      Dated guy with all these trait for several years. Feel hes draining me emotionally i love him yeah , but i don't feel loved. Now hes started staring at women n not even caring if about my feelings. Don't feel theres anything left in this relationship but my feelings for him. How can we actually care or love this type person?? Im gonna try to move on n cut him loose.

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 2 years ago from Washington, DC

      Good for you, Cathy. Sounds like it's time. Thanks for taking the time to read this article. I'm glad it helped.

    • profile image

      Ginger 2 years ago

      Unfortunately my grandson is destined to become a self centered individual as both his parents are self centered. Listening to my daughter complain about the ridiculous things her husband says & does takes me back to her teenage years when she was the same way. Her two brothers & l walked around on eggshells just to keep peace. Now she does the same thing just to keep peace. Visits with my daughter are very stressful & when her husband is with her, asking them if they want something to drink can turn into a full blown debate.

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 2 years ago from Washington, DC

      So sorry to hear of your stressful family dynamics, Ginger. These situations are very hard to resolve with so many moving pieces. I wish you well with being able to set boundaries for yourself to avoid being pulled into the debates.

    • profile image

      DANNI161119 2 years ago

      thanks for this, very helpful indeed :)

      I am struggling to get pregnant and have a girl who sits next to me at work who is expecting her 3rd.. when she fell pregnant(after trying for 2 months) she kept saying "i can't believe it happened soo quick" knowing full well i have been trying for 4 years :( INSENSITIVE lol

      I call days at work with her an episode of the "enter name" show!

      I am off to read your other pages :) thanks again :)

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 2 years ago from Washington, DC

      You're very welcome.

    • ThatMommyBlogger profile image

      Missy 21 months ago from The Midwest

      I knew I had to read this as soon as I saw the title. I have children with a narcissist. Great hub.

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 21 months ago from Washington, DC

      Glad you enjoyed it, thank you very much.

    • Farawaytree profile image

      Michelle Zunter 18 months ago from California

      Ah ha! This one strikes a cord! I have a person in my life that is like this, and need to personally interact with them on a regular basis that involves extended family so.... I'm trying to find ways to stop getting so irritated by their behavior. I do avoid engagement as often as possible.

      I also constantly check my own behavior to make sure I'm not overly self-absorbed as well because I see how terrible it can be to others!!

      Great hub :)

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 18 months ago from Washington, DC

      Thanks, Michelle, glad you liked it. I hope it helps you deal with that person. Thank you for taking the time to stop by and read this hub.

    • Farawaytree profile image

      Michelle Zunter 18 months ago from California

      Yes, and I also have a question maybe you can answer. Do these self-absorbed types ever realize how they are acting? In other words, is it pointless to point out their behavior to them?

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 18 months ago from Washington, DC

      It is well known in the field that narscissitic personality disorder is one of the hardest to treat. Personality disorders in general are hard to treat, hard to change. Unfortunately, if you point out their behaviors, you will most likely receive defensiveness.

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 18 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Dear Jan,

      It is the last few days of 2015 and I thank God that YOU ARE NOT a narcisstic girl. You are very caring, humble, and so talented at your writing.

      I am also thankful that we are friends.

      Merry Christmas!

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 18 months ago from Washington, DC

      Hi Kenneth. Very nice of you to say so. Thanks for the compliments and the holiday wishes. Merry Christmas to you, too.

    • gerimcclym profile image

      Geri McClymont 17 months ago

      Very insightful article with what I think are excellent suggestions on how to respond to self-centered behaviors from people we interact with regularly or even sporadically. The article also made me stop and reflect on whether I am exhibiting any of these self-centered behaviors perhaps without even realizing it. Thank you for sharing this valuable information.

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 17 months ago from Washington, DC

      You are very welcome, gerimcclym. I'm glad you found it informative and helpful in terms of causing you to reflect about your own traits. I appreciate the visit.

    • Stacie L profile image

      Stacie L 15 months ago

      This hub resonates with me,especially since I have to deal with friends and relatives who have to turn my discussions back to themselves all the time!

      I also have to deal with self absorbed road rage idiots who blast their horns if they think you are blocking their way and not moving fast enough on THEIR road!

      thumbs up...if we still have it.LOL

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 15 months ago from Washington, DC

      Thanks, Stacie L. Glad you enjoyed one of my favorite hubs. It resonates with many people. The road ragers are the worst! Great to see you, appreciate your visit.

    • Claire-louise profile image

      Claire Raymond 6 weeks ago from UK

      Excellent advice, I have had my fill of these kinds of people lately!

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 6 weeks ago from Washington, DC

      Yes, we have all had our share, Claire-louise. I appreciate your comment.

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