Gambling Addiction: Ten Ways to Stop Forever

Gambling addiction is brutal and highly destructive. It can lead to dire consequences that run the gamut from bankruptcy, job loss, depression, anxiety, loss of friends and family, and even suicide. It is so important for the addict to stop gambling sooner rather than later.

This addiction does not discriminate. If the propensity is there, and the gambler crosses over that invisible line into problem gambling, addiction can occur in anyone’s life. It does not matter whether the person is rich or poor, educated or uneducated. An addiction like this can send people to jail, cause major social and occupational problems, mental instability, and financial devastation that can last for years.

Studies show that problem gamblers are more likely to commit suicide than all other types of addicts combined.

It is important to get help as soon as possible. It isn’t easy to quit gambling, but there are ways you can help yourself before you get to the point of no return. Here are ten strategies to use to stop gambling and reclaim your life!

Remember the feeling when you lose a lot of money at the casino, online, or through sports betting. Allow yourself to feel that despondency when you are having thoughts about gambling again.

Ten Tips to Help You Quit Gambling Forever

1. Take a Short Break

When you wake up, make a decision that you will not gamble, just for this one day. If you have to do this an hour at a time, that is okay. Some might have to work one minute at a time, which is fine too, as long as you promise yourself that you will not gamble, and you keep the promise. Schedule your day in a very structured way so you do not have a lot of free time and forbid yourself to enter a casino.

2. Find a Replacement Activity

Find something to replace your gambling. Exercise, go shopping, go out with friends, or do some cooking. You can also rent a movie, or listen to some music, or do some reading. Whatever it takes to keep yourself busy.Your goal is to stop gambling, and it is not easy when you get such a high from it. Finding replacements, however, can help. Try, and see how it goes.

3. Remember How Bad it Feels to Lose

Remember the feeling when you lose a lot of money at the casino, online, or through sports betting. Allow yourself to feel that despondency when you are having thoughts about gambling again. You may find that you are less likely to go out and placing a bet. I have done this before, and must admit that these feelings have stopped me from taking that ride to the casino. Not every time, but many times this tool has helped.

4. Educate Yourself About Gambling Addiction

Read as much as you can about gambling addiction. Educate yourself, especially about your particular type of gambling. Find out what type of gambler you are and whether you have a gambling problem and have crossed over this invisible line. Are you an escape or action gambler? Find out what some of your triggers are, as this can help a lot. When you read about gambling addiction, especially the power that it can have on your psyche, you may think twice about going out and placing a bet.

5. Find Self-Help Materials

Seek help. Look for books or courses. Self-hypnosis for gambling problems can also be helpful. Consider joining an online gambling addiction forum. Even if you do not join, reading other people's stories may help you realize that you are not alone. It is crucial that you realize that you are not the only person with this problem. Many share your plight and are looking for answers and support from other gamblers.

6. Find a Support Group

Attend a Gamblers Anonymous meeting for group support. If you do not want to do a 12-Step program, there is an online program called Smart Recovery. Having support from other gamblers who also want to quit is an important piece of your recovery.

7. Hand Over Control of Your Money

Ask a close family member to handle your money. If you do not have money on your person, you will be less apt to impulsively gamble money away. It will be hard, but it is an important step in your recovery. Also, do not allow yourself access to ATM or credit cards. Just keep a small amount of cash with you, so you are not tempted to spend the money gambling.

8. List the Cons of Gambling and the Pros of Quitting

Make a list about how your gambling problem has affected your life in a negative way. Write as much as you can. Make the list on the left side of a sheet of paper so you have room on the right side. On the right side right about how your life will change for the better when you stop gambling.

9. Make a Financial Plan

Talk to a debt counselor about your gambling debts. Ask for advice about how to relieve financial pressure and solve financial problems caused by your gambling. The financial stress that you have from gambling addiction debts can drive you back to gambling if not addressed. Financial problems are the biggest consequence of gambling, and help is available. Be sure to use a non-profit debt assistance agency, and not one that is for-profit.

10. Get a Good Counselor

See a counselor that specializes in addictions, especially gambling, and talk to this person about your problem. If your addiction is severe, you will need as much support as you can get to stop gambling now.

Some Final Thoughts

Gambling is one of the most dangerous addictions, because of the related risk of suicide. Find help now and make a plan to begin quitting. Take it one day, or hour, at a time and keep in mind how great you will feel when you have come clean and stopped gambling with your life.

Comments 718 comments

Ex Gambler 6 years ago

If gambling gets the best of you.. You are in world of trouble.. it's no picnic when gambling runs your life..

Marilyn Lancelot 5 years ago

The person sitting next to you in church, the man in line at the grocery store, or one of your co-workers; any one of these could be involved with a gambling problem. Imagine your grandmother committing a crime to support her gambling addiction. I am a recovering alcoholic, gambler, and have recovered from other addictive behaviors. I published a book, Gripped by Gambling, where the readers can follow the destructive path of the compulsive gambler, a prison sentence, and then on to the recovery road.

I recently published a second book, Switching Addictions, describing additional issues that confront the recovering addict. If a person who has an addictive personality, doesn’t admit to at least two addictions, he’s not being honest. These are two books you might consider adding to your library. I also publish a free online newsletter, Women Helping Women, which has been on-line for more than ten years and is read by hundreds of women (and men) from around the world. ( I was interviewed and appeared on the 60 Minutes show in January 2011, which was moderated by Leslie Stahl.


Marilyn Lancelot

Agnes Penn profile image

Agnes Penn 4 years ago from Nicholson, Pennsylvania, USA

Some people might not consider this, but faith helps. There is one aspect common to all addictions: control over situations. Having a competitive nature doesn't help either.

I've learned that giving all to God and believing He has everything under control, even bad things, gives great comfort. And seeing others the same as myself, good and bad, also gives peace.

Great hub. Voted up.

Michael P 4 years ago

I found some really helpful information in iStopGambling's guide ( They give you practical information on how to stop the bleeding now, without the need of support groups, counseling or Gambler's Anonymous. I found it extremely effective and easy to implement. Best of all, the system is designed to help you by YOURSELF, so you can keep your problems private.

OrielGour profile image

OrielGour 4 years ago

Oh dear! It's really horrible! My x-boy was a player. now he is in a jail. I warned him...and it was a really a big problem!


ouidlvr 4 years ago

If you live with a mental illness, impulse control is incredibly difficult. I have bipolar affective disorder and I would rather live with a mental illness 500 times over a gambling addiction. I attend Smart Recovery and I have to agree that quitting is just one step. Being constantly broke while trying to be in recovery often tempts me to return to win some extra money to relieve the pressure. Ultimately as an escape gambler I just put any winnings back in to slot machines. These new "bonus round" machines are very deceiving as raising you bet does not yeild a proportional return. In fact I have experienced getting nothing on a bonus round.

notsslots 4 years ago

I dont know who to turn to most days. My family refused to take over my paychecks and the person that helped me ended up wanting to date me. I feel like i have no where to turn and no one has stuck with me as i have turned people away and scared to trust them. I do wish some days i were not here as i have no one to talk to who wont judge me. Gambling is the only thing that allows me to escape. I dont know what to do

Passenger x 4 years ago

It feels like someone else is driving my life. I can see out the winshield, but I have little control where I end up! Indian reseration casinos have this well figured and they capitolise deep on it.

nail krbuljic 4 years ago

like this one i em not doing no more for ever i promise my self ...

Me 4 years ago

I have recently had a problem with gambling. It is due mainly to having nothing to do but more recently it is because of the passing of my best friend.

I have now decided to stop. Take a step back and do something better with my life. It will be hard but I know it is the right thing to do.

lester 4 years ago

i hate it

khan 4 years ago

help. i want to stop but cant

4 years ago

I don't have the money for therapy but I totally want to quit. I have ruined my credit completely due to this horrible addiction. I dream about gambling. I have had those thoughts of ending it after I have left a casino. I hate this addiction.

timothy 4 years ago

i just can not stop i am just betting more and more even if i win i put it back. i hate this i dont know how to stop iv tryd but just fail im looseing everything i worked for. the next step is taking my life

danni 4 years ago

i know how you all feel,i have read your posts, i ve hated myself for years i gamble until i have nothing,everytime i lose everything i say im gona stop,until i have money again and im back doing same thing,im just going round in circles,the government sould be ashamed they have opened so many places that even you try escape you turn corner and its in your face,

hassan 4 years ago

I was addicted to roulette machines it took everything away from me and money wise family wise reputation . quit before you reach this stage it is the best think i have ever done . It feels like am a living again and have got my life back

virginia47 4 years ago

i feel the same as everyone else! this sucks! its a progressive disease that i just keep going more often and spending more money!! i HAVE to stop!!!

razza840 profile image

razza840 3 years ago

very few people knows this secret

all the shufflers in casino particularly in blackjack & poker are

riggged in poker no matter what cards you have you must watch flop then play because what's on a flop thats what game going to be doesn't matter if you have AK,so dont gamble you can naver ever can beat this super fast computerized shufflers,it tracks by facial recognition system

you are trapped by technologies you cant think about

google search facial technology in casino

wirelessly they can rigged & track players i spend 3 years in researching this

Viktor 3 years ago

The most important thing that people who never gambled do not know is that... YOU CANNOT CUT OFF YOUR GAMBLING BUDGET.

You simply cannot have 2000$ in your pocket and say, "today I will gamble 100$ away", especially not in case of slot machines. Those freaking machines are designed to take money away, and this they do best if they first give you some money, then ARE CLOSE TO GIVING YOU some money and then getting you to stake all your money and take it from you.

You may win a day or two, but in the long run, YOU NEVER WIN.

Just in the last 3 days i gambled away 3 average salaries in Kosovo (which are 600 Euro), for some of you living abroad that is not all that much, but i just told ya, it is 3 months of work.

Do you want to win ??? THEN FUCKING QUIT !!! stop it, get all your money away (if you have left any) ask for help from family (regardless whether this is the 10th time you ask for help) end it for good.

Gambling leads to many other problems in life like...

- you lose track of time (miss important meetings)

- you start lying,

- you start stealing

- loaning money from banks

- borrowing money from friends

- BEING NOT ABLE TO REPAY... and repeat all the above, and gradually... lose more and more.

See a therapist, let him prescribe you some drugs (abilyfy, demetrin etc...) that help treat anxiety (which is the main cause of brain cells dysfunction leading to the need of adrenaline rush to the brain... and calm your mind).

Isolate yourself, enter into some reality TV show, where you have NO CHANCE of getting into gambling.

Take your loved ones and go to the mountains... just go FAR FAR FAR away from the big city life where YOU CANNOT AVOID gambling, because every-fucking-where you look, you see casinos, online betting, race betting, sports betting and what not.

Disappear for like 3 months, and return healed... that's the best thing you can do for yourself and for your loved ones.



A compulsive gamblers who has lost it...

nick 3 years ago

its like a drug takes over me , my head completely goes and nothing can stop me at all it really has took over my life

Susan 3 years ago

I spend all my extra time and money gambling, I hate it. I am in the hole but not to bad bc I dont have credit Cards. Thank god.. I haven't slolen to gamble but I have thought i couldn't go on... Really sucks, I used to be a normal person. Now I'm a total loser. I spend evey dime I have when I go in. I dont come out with a penny. Even use my change. It's sick. I need help. I dont even look up when I'm there. I just go full speed ahead... I spend more money than I have and wind up having to win it back. I freaking need help. So sad over this...

Kevin 3 years ago

Here's a post I've managed to clear up all my debt except a few minimal debts and I have a title loan out but yet I still gamble daily but when I'm broke I'm broke but as soon as I get flo I gamble I need that urge gone any suggestions?? 3 years ago

no more gambling

back 3 years ago

oh man how can I told you very bad baddddddddddd any way nothing to say man very hard to say just stop gambling guys ,this is best way ever

foldedtofly 3 years ago

I feel like shit. I feel like killing myself sometimes. Just don't have the courage to do so. I need help

Dan 3 years ago

I can't believe that this is the first thing that came up on google. This list is retarded. I don't know if this person loved gambling or not but this list doesn't make sense. People who gamble have an addictive personality where they always need something to do. I realize there are a lot of helpful ideas but regardless it comes down to the individual

S m . 3 years ago

Had enough I beleave I hit the bottom of my addiction . Can't do this gambling no more . I hope never to go to a casino again

latte 3 years ago

went in bet shop July 2012 for the first time put 1 pound on roulette an won it made my feel exited since then i have been in bet shop every day most days more than once and its made me feel ill they don't belong on the high street they make you ill

dean 3 years ago

i always play roulette online and i always win so much $$ but i don't know what i do actually.if some of u think that gambling is making money, for me i don't think so. even i can earn so much $$ but i never cash it out.i love to the see figure only.and then throw it away. i don't know what happen to me now. but i realized that my gambling habit make me diff people. my friend and family always advise me about the habit can cause lot of trouble such as i can't focus on my job as a total winning is around 15k for only 2 months playing that game. even i never be in debt but i know if i still gambling it will ruin myself. so tonight i decide to STOP playing because i love my family and my fiancée.

James 3 years ago

Gambling Sucks.. It has ruined my life my happiness.. I will surely do fe things to control them.. *** Give my all cards to my mom and only take the pocket money from my salary as my school days.. Will swear daily to God not to bet **** Will recall daily how much I have given to these fuckers.. Mission Quit Gambling begins.. Wish me luck..

luke 3 years ago

hi i couldnt go into town without popping into the bookies and i couldn't go on the laptop without visiting casino sited, so a few weeks back, i sweared on my daughters life i would not do any of it again. and since then. it has stopped me from going in the bookies and going on casino sites .

michelletee profile image

michelletee 3 years ago from United States Author

Gambling can really grab a hold of us. With slots gambling, our brains are high on dopamine. This is why it is hard to stop. This is truly one of the strongest addictions out there.

James 3 years ago

Yes the new video slots are pretty addictive to be sure and the only realistic way to avoid them and other gaming ripoffs is to stay away from all of these gambling dens.

Don 3 years ago

Well gambling sure was not going to wreck my life and after losing a couple thousand I knew it was time to stop going to any and all gambling establishments and suck up the loss and a good lesson learned.

Staying away means your away from the influence and soon after you realize that you did right because your bank account is recovering slowly but steadily .

jjgcghvkhvmf 3 years ago

that's the reason of being hopeless in life.. i hate here in vegas

musoke 3 years ago

gamblling is atotal distractin of life.

jocelyn 2 years ago

i need to stop gambling. i am losing all my money and falling deeper and deeper in debt. i can not continue this destructive disease and need all the the support i can get to really quit. i always say, that i'm not going back, but i find myself right back there, trying to win some extra money, i need help, i want to quit...

anita 2 years ago

Please stop

Aj 2 years ago

Best way to stop it is to feel contented about ur life no matter what circumstance u are in. U are never too late to stop.

Happy Camper 2 years ago

G'day all, I am a recovering compulsive gambler. It took years for me to realise that I could not do this on my own. Compulsive gambling is a progressive mental illness that gets worse, never better. I joined Gamblers Anonymous and have found the road to recovery through diligence and hard work. It has been over 9 years and 10 months since my last bet and going strong. Change your life forever and get to a GA meeting.

hubpages 2 years ago

I have lost to much money and myself I read all comments sad I m going to stop today never again and help other people because government dont help no onemy number is 07940015905

stu 2 years ago

I know how you all feel I go to the bookies and put everything I have in machines its always roulette. The numbers you have money on never drop in its always next door, it angers me I say never again but I always go back iv lost thousands iv borrowed time and time again I have two great kids and a loving partner who is beginning to understand how bad it really has become, iv got my first meeting for gambling addiction in a few weeks and hopefully this will be a fresh start for me, good luck to you all.

Sal M 2 years ago

I go in with my lunch money or my gas money or rent money never win then hit my cc my debit card I borrow I'm a looser and hate myself for this an keep going back for more loss I don't get it.

Gambling free 2 years ago

I hit my rock bottom . lost nearly everything but my life . homeless , destitute and suicidal. I found Gamblers Anon. I attended meetings regularly and worked a twelve step program of recovery . I now have a happy and productive life full of love and peace of mind { gambling free . one day at a time I arrest this illness }

Tony r 2 years ago

Hi all. I read all these comments and agree with all of them. I think Iv lost about £50k plus yet my dream is to stop and try and get back my old life before the roulette machines. I had savings a nice house a loving family but IV LOST IT ALL. I know live in a place that I hate that gets me down and like an idiot I go and return to the place that has been the cause of my crap life. Tried to self exclude my self from them places but in my opinion it needs a bigger effort from the betting shops so you exclude your self from one it should be your excluded from EVERY bookies not just the hand full you nominated. Because its an addiction and if you can't bet in there shop you will like I do drive to a shop that lets you in. This battle needs every assistants/help it can get to give it up.

adam 2 years ago

I have the will to stop but no reason to

stupid gin rummy 2 years ago

I will kick this f_-_king game out of my life for good

paul 2 years ago

i have lost well over 200.000 gambling. I am an "executive" but have this gambling disease. I am seeking help as my job is now in jeopardy, plus i cant handle the dissapointment and constant debt concerns anymore. I have gambled for over 25 years, progressively getting worse as i earn more money. While i haven't hurt anyone specific, it has impacted my relationships over time. Time to find a new hobby and get back to the simple things in life.

chris 2 years ago

Texas Holden is mostly my problem. I believe I will finally stop this time. I want to so bad. Sick of dropping 300-700.00$ every weekend! Especially because I have a 8 1/2 yr. Old daughter who lives with me and mom. We get by mostly fine and don't go without(I work my ass off) but we should have so much more, its sickening! I think if I read these comments when next weekend rolls around it will help me fight it off. I hope so

kelly 2 years ago

I totally agree with everyone's comments. I am a compulsive gambler and trying to stop myself. Matter of fact I just gambled and had the machine up to 450 with 40 invested this time and played it all off. Its hard for someone to understand this addiction if they haven't had to deal with it. I plan on going to a meeting tomorrow night. This will be my first. The hardest part for me is trying to let go. Meaning the money I've lost. Even when I win I'm not winning. I've vested well over 100 k in this crap over the years. So when I (win) did I really win. Hell no. Not even close. Sure it feels good at the moment but that's what makes us do it. But what about the other times you lose and really feel like a piece of crap and start beating yourself up. All I know is it will take time to recover from this but with God's help I'm already there. I think that until you can finally realize in oneself that the hole is getting deeper even when winning and really cut your losses and realize you'll never win it back in the big picture it will be very difficult to stop. Or at least for me. So I say to everyone lets stop making these bastards rich and keep it in our pocket. That is how you win. You will win every time. The only guaranteed money is the money in your pocket, however much it is GUARANTEED. Just felt like sharing. Hopefully you guys understand. Oh yea by the way I have been to the bottom several times and had those crazy thoughts but think of it like this, life is way to short already. Why speed up the process. There are plenty of good things around all of us sometimes they just take a little effort to realize.

2 years ago

Kelly get to the meeting and just share your story. It will help and listen to others. You aren't alone and one day at a time you can do it!!

Will 2 years ago

I don't know when it started. I was young, and it never seemed like a problem. Win some, lose some. I've tried it all; lotto, slots, cards, tables, horses, sports. For years I'd recreationally gamble from time to time, never leading me into any major issues.

Until the last year or so. Last February I bought a $10 lotto scratcher and won $1000. I was overjoyed. I spent another $60 or so on more scratch offs and hit a $500 winner.

Since then, I've won at least $5000 on scratch off tickets. But I've spent at least $10,000 doing so. I'm not in TOO deep yet, but I definitely have problems. A few times I've spent my last dollars on the tickets, money that should have been put in my gas tank or bought the dog food. I can't pass a gas station without wanting to buy some tickets. I'm always broke well before my next pay day.

I've not stolen for gambling money. But the thought has crossed my mind. I'm behind on all my bills. I get calls constantly for money despite making well above the average American salary.

I think of suicide often. Never attempted it, but it seems like a plausible idea at times. I hate how I feel.

I'm not gambling anymore. I've made the decision to stop completely. But I'm still in financial hell.

Dan 2 years ago

May god help us all

mike 2 years ago

thanks for the information

good luck to me

not gonna gamble ever again

Dan 2 years ago

Hey everyone. My name is danny I have lost everything because of gambling.i lost my car the love of my life (together 7 year's) I started stealing doing fraud selling everything even my christmas presents.i have been doing this for 9 years now with nothing to show I wouldn't even be writing this message if my mum didn't get my phone back.i have sold my laptop and phone 9 times to cash generator ( on buy back) when I sell it and get like £140 for it im like great I xan double that and have some money for myself . The problem is a few times now I have turned that £140 well over £1000 but have I ever took it nope nor once.i messes my job up because of this disease and thought why should I work my ass off for 250 a week when I can make this in literally a few spins (roulette).so that messed that up if I never started which I wish I didn't like everyone here I would have the house and nice car and my gf and would have had ex partner was the one for me perfect, beautiful, kind, caring, faithful, ambitious etc...I fucked it up because I was not paying her attention my confidence went I started to lie we stopped having a laugh all I thought about was gambling. She paid for most holidays we had every christmas I was either in the casino or in the bookies trying to win her christmas present and if that failed I would ask my mum to help me mum is the best mum in the world and would do anything for anyone she brought me and my other brother's up when my dad when I say my mum help me out we are not rich she is a care assistant but would do anything for me . I hate myself for doing this but I lost control and played with her money when I was in the bookies and was losing then cleared the bank account out.please dont think im bad for doing thay it's just you dont see the seriousness because you think its ok I will replace it next time I win.but it never works like that I have played on everything you can think to do with gambling apart from horses.i have been rock bottom like you wouldn't well probably would believe and feel so shitting coming back from the long drive homes they seem even though its 30 minutes away.i used to spend up to 36 hours in the casino as it was either hit massive or walk out with health was so bad and eating I hardly ate my attitude was so bad . The saddest thing with all this is I don't appreciate money anymore.people would give me 20 and I would not be grateful (I would but not).I have lost my looks and some great friends to I used to go the gym but missed days because the casino and would keep avoiding paying for it.just to tell you how low I have been after losing £7000 in the casino in 3 hours I was pulling strands of hairs out but when I got home I ripped it all out and now most of it has not grown back, so im left with bald patches. One other time I lost 2000 in the bookies I came back and my mum asked me where the money did you buy the car you wanted (vauxhall corsa) and I said no I lost it in the bookies and she shouted at me and I was so annoyed at my self I couldn't take I picked a knife up in the kitchen where we was and I stabbed my chest 9 times I know because the holes in my top.the top was covered, ripped in blood and this day I have the scars also I have punched so many things and damaged my hands. I used to look after myself but now I think what's the confidence is so low now and I have got so much shit on my thoughts wonder so wildly. I always thing I knew this was coming in and if only just I took all my winnings so you think next time I just need to take but my answer to that is **** no!!!roulette is mostly the game well is the one I play and I have been playing it for 8 years like 60 hours a week on some weeks...if I add alk that time up I really could of finished a college/university degree. I am only 26 so I can be happy I would stop now if I can. I am going to give it my best shot and not let this continue.i have got a question if someone can answer it and people will think yeah right once I say this.2 years ago I was going to put my euro on and the jackpot was 168 I did do it but changed my numbers and they all came in I felt sick for a year...2 people won it but still it was 50million plus last week I went to put it on and change 2 numbers and only got 3 and a lucky star but if I kept the same ones I would of had 5 and 1, which was 112k so my head is messed up and explanations if any would be great . Just not meant to be or mega unlucky.i know people are wondering how much money have I lost my own money your looking at 100k easy over the last couple of years.with winnings and giving it them back I don't want to think but I used to go in with 2-300 and get 2-3000 then the chasing came so I would walk in with 2000 plus.if someone is newish to gambling the best thing for you to stop now and have a happy many things you can do and stop...go the gym join courses work extra hours go away for a while-someone here mentioned that I loved it . There is so much to my story and the feelings people can relate to but this is enough for someone to read.

I really mean this from the bottom of my heart now that im done with it all.may godbless you all on over coming this addiction and have a long happy life x

Ps if anyone read it thanks

Stay strong and remember you control your actions.

Think before you do you control your hands and finger so just stop.think about how shitty you felt wheb you lost think how many days, weeks, months you waiting to get paid off work then blown it just like that.all that hard work and nothing to say.

Lets stop making these casinos, , bookies etc richer and get the message out there just stop.

Sorry I got carried away thanks again for listening.

Godbless you all


Danny 2 years ago

I forgot to mention.

What I think now is learn off you mistakes and most importantly which I think is going to help me, is by making my family proud especially my mum.

Dont let something tragic to happen to make you change because that regret will be worse than your gambling stop today.

People also saying about wanting to kill them self don't let it beat you and I have felt like that done close enough things but I lost my dad and its selfish on the family.

This really does ruin lives I hope just off my story it will change someones life.

Thats all

Dan x

lisa 2 years ago

Thank you. I lost 1400.00 tonite my entire pay and I am pd every 2 weeks. I'm disgusted with myself and ambarrased. I'm smarter than this. God help me.

M.rasoolyyyy 2 years ago

Hi All,

I had a loan of $ 20000 and I put all this money these fuck machines I am paid every week and from October 2012 till now I am addictive to this gambling illness. The only thing which worries me that how can get some money in my account so that I stop. but today I saw comments here and some friends said the best win is the if u stop today because from last 2 years I could nt get my money but I lost more I promised today that whatever my financial position is I my not going to the casino again . that will be my win take time but I am sure it will help me.

I hope these governments stop casinos as in Islamic countires so that all people live in peace rather than be in this illness. God help me and all who have problem with this deseas tomorrow is my new day of life without this desease.


Emma 2 years ago

My name is Emma I am 34 and been gambling 4 about 5 years ona s off but it got bad I hate my self I love my kids so much but how can I if I keep letting them down all the time seeing there faces when iv lost the good money everything g even if I win I can never walk aways got loads of family that car so much about me but I keep letting everyone down saying I won't do it again but I do I hate my self and want to stop but it co folk h my life no one understand how can there when iv hot kids and keep letting them down

Teddy 2 years ago

My names teddy,reading all ur stories really touch me because I am the same this dirt disease has me at my end of teller,I hate myself for gambling,always lying to my father to get money to fed the addiction,,it's so hard now I've had it all out with my family they are helpin me to overcome this illness,I have my first meeting tomorrow nyt and got myself excluded from all gambling facility's,and online gaming accounts,I need to get my life back get a job again and overcome this,I know I would be a lot happier if a wasn't gambling,and I have a beautiful family loving children and girlfriend which makes me so happy,,for myself and them I am going to beat this addiction,wish me luck,and I hope use all overcome it too,goodluck

michelletee profile image

michelletee 2 years ago from United States Author

All the best to you Teddy.. and to all of you posting your stories on this site. We can all beat this dreaded addiction. It is not easy.. but we can NEVER stop trying.

Ben 2 years ago

Im a compulsive gambler....trying to quit! I'm glad I've found this hubpages. I read a lot of stories that will help me to change... Wish everybody beat this illness...all the stories are great n helpful!

Themba 2 years ago

I am addicted to sports betting because is taking everything away from me, in the past 8 months I have lost about R400K. I wann quite before is too late.

Lee 2 years ago

Amazing sharing from amazing people. I'm a compulsive gambler for over 25 years now.

I’ve always felt uncomfortable sitting with myself, unless it was stuck in front of a poker machine. . A dark room lit with blue screens and that familiar smell of whatever cleaning product it is they use, (because every casino I’ve encountered smells the same) almost gags me like a street robber with a rag doused in endorphins. I was going in any way. The people playing beside weren’t strangers, I know most of them for nearly 20 years but rarely, if ever spoke to any of them. An almost telepathic empathy could be had for all though, win or lose. Small cliques of punters, watching machines all day, taking it in shifts to keep an eye on what cash was going in and out of them, would head out for ‘team’ smoke breaks. I don’t know if they make a living out of it, I somehow doubt it. I've always been a 'lone-ranger', go in speak to no-one, just myself, the machine and what I can only describe as a great void emptiness in terms of productive or rational thinking. There’s no reflection, no challenging, no thought strong enough to say ‘STOP!!!’ Metaphorically, a washing machine on high spin replaced what used to be a brain and no matter how much I win it wasn't enough, so I leave with nothing almost always. So where’s the appeal? Why do I repetitively, after feeling the comfort of abstinence for small periods of time, and after the emotional, financial carnage accrued over the years, succumb to the painful life of the gambler?

It's a horrible mundane existence and the only person who can truly understand me is another compulsive gambler. I live in hope that the penny will drop and I'll wake up and my life as I've known it thus far has been nothing but a twisted nightmare. I have often asked my doctor if it would be possible to remove the part of the brain that orchestrates this behaviour, which we all know doesn't stop at gambling. The lies, the sneaking about, the stealing, the avoidance and the billion other defects of character that not only take over our being, but rob us of our very soul. What I will say to finish up for now is that Gamblers Anonymous works, but YOU need to want it. Pride keeps me from going back and admitting to another slip so I endure the white knuckle ride of a life as a compulsive gambler.

I pray that tomorrow brings a bet free day for everyone struggling with the illness and that somehow we gain the Serenity, Courage and Wisdom to at least try to appease the condition A Day At A Time...

God Bless


Lee 2 years ago

Its a living nightmare den.Its like schizophrenia for me. Jackell and Hyde.

Rotten and crippled morally, emotionally, spiritually, physically and financially.

I don't think there's enough warning advertisements or awareness out there to make people aware of how dangerous and how widespread this illness is. Widespread not only in terms of it's epidemic nature, but it's effect on the people who come within a 200 mile radius of the sufferer. Instead what we get is a very socially accepted death trap rammed down our throats every where we go. Models in swimsuits popping champagne corks with cash raining down on them I've yet to see in any casino I've walked into. What I have encountered is a lot more sinister than that. Many, many times I've sat beside a regular punting on the same machine all day, only to hear of their death the next day. Only for a few failed attempts that punter could have been me.

The destruction just snowballs if we continue to gamble and I'm getting it hard to cope for a while now. It's not just about the gambling, it's about every dynamic of my character. I've told that many lies and made up so much crap over the years that I haven't a notion who I am and don't even know where I'd begin to start looking.

Thank God I made it to a meeting tonight. I didn't intend on sharing, I've been going through mental torment so it felt good when I did. There were only 2 other lads there, one of whom I know very well through the revolving GA doors the other a fairly young lad who looked just as nervous as me. It was his second meeting and I could see myself at his age in every thing he said. For most of my life I've been waking out of my sleep wrapped in soaking sheets, scared, feeling sick, useless, confused and lost, every night at around 3am and then every hour after. I can't go on like this. God Bless


compcoll4000 2 years ago

Gambling addiction destroys lives. It has the highest suicide rate of all addictions combined. Every month people go to Las Vegas to lose everything and kill themselves. I know this addiction well. I have lived it for the past 17 years. It is a ruthless addiction. It will take everything you have and laugh in your face over it. Every time you get some money in your pocket you go and blow it all away. You cry when it's all gone not knowing what you are going to do next. What you end up doing next is waiting in misery til you can get money to go again. I have been addicted to casinos, bingo (cuz I thought it was cheaper), lottery. You name it I was addicted to it. I really convinced myself that I was going to win the lottery. I did everything I could possibly do to win. I spent 10 hours a day coming up with number combinations. I did this for 2 years straight. Then it was scratch offs. The hopes of scratching off a ticket and instantly winning a million dollars or more. Gambling addiction robs your soul of everything. You stop taking care of yourself. You neglect yourself. I didn't take a shower for a year a couple of times over the 17 years I have been dealing with this. I am now to the point of wanting to end my life. I have found a way that would be quick and to the point. I am not quite ready to give up yet. I still think I am going to win and everything will be ok. How delusional am I? I have bipolar disorder on top of all this. I have had electric shock treatments even. I have tried everything to help myself. And yes it is depressing living on the little money I get. And to give up the dream of life being on easy street. Money is such an evil thing. It brings out the worst in people. I have been to the GA meetings. The meetings are so boring. The only thing I have found to stop temporarily is engaging in things that I like. Although as soon as I like something I become addicted. It makes me sick to think all the money I gave to the low life gambling establishments and states that profit off of it. It is sickening what it costs people to gamble. I have probably blown hundreds of thousands of dollars over 17 years.

Lee 2 years ago

compcoll4000 I feel your pain man and can identify because it's where I am at the minute too. I think the more quitting crosses my mind the more the disease digs it's heals in and steps up the aggression a notch. I'm powerless to it. I'm incapable of handling money, or looking after myself properly because all I can think of is gambling. like you that dream of the big win just won't go away and I'll walk into a casino with a handful of change from down the back of the sofa and get it changed to a coin just to have a bet. It's all a part of the 'fix', the adrenaline, heart pounding out my chest. I haven't drank in 4 years but I feel drunk every day because I gamble. Seriously I don't know if it's just me but I'd walk out of a casino and forget where I parked the car and walk for ages combing the ground for money. I haven't had a bet now in 2 days and it's been a white-knuckle ride thus far. I've been finding checking in with this and similar forums are helping to actively look at what the hell I'm doing!

I'm becoming more aware of the importance of self-awareness in tackling this thing. Being honest with myself and everything I come in contact with is essential and having a 'Higher Power' to believe is guiding me to a better, cleaner living human...

But I've been here before, many, many times, and the mindset and the blueprint for recovery have probably been just as clear, but for some god forsaken reason I end up gambling. It's the repetition that freaks me out the most and the dismay and confusion when I pick my ass up from another rock bottom. I'm 37 years of age and have nothing but bailiffs and bills and a long trail of emotional turmoil to show for it. My plan is to go to the meeting tomorrow night. Please God I get there...

Thanks for reading.


Ben 2 years ago

Lee.. Wish u get there!(ga meeting)I'm liked you... There's hope man! I'm also struggling with this illness......god bless!

Gwen 2 years ago

After reading all your stories I have decided to quit before it eats me up. I'm a female executive using gambling as a tool to cope with stress, this is a ten year habit and I'm running out of chances.

It's gutless and I'm ashamed of myself. The only way out is to stop all gambling completely choose a different path and grow up and face the world instead of pretending to cope.

Every post here is my support thank you for discribing the graphic pain it has caused your life I could never write this until now, my life is being wasted it's my dirty little secret and I am so ashamed but I will rebuild I'm nearly at rock bottom emotionally faking my way threw life behind a fake smile. Rejection is just part of life and I never learnt away to deal with it and escaped to gambling to forget all the daily Crap. Always thought I was lucky in life and I was until I started gambling and lost myself respect.

cc 2 years ago

I have been gaming for about 15 years and very heavily for the past 3 years..things have finally caught up to me and is being highlighted to my family...

cc 2 years ago

What's the best way to tackle this considering I am a private and proud pperson

quitter 2 years ago

Right, I have been gambling on an off for about 15 years just like CC above.

I thought I had overcome it about 8 years ago when I decided to give up cold turkey, and it worked... for a while.

But over the last 2 or 3 years it has come back with a vengeance. I've just lost £4000 in the last two days and just want it to stop.

I'm feeling so guilty as the money could go to my family, and I have two young children, a wife and a lovely house.

I can't tell them about this problem as I'm too ashamed. I just need to know the best way to get rid of this horrible habit.

Like I said I've given it up before, but have no idea what brought it back on again. I blame unhappiness at work, but then I think I shouldn't be using anything as an excuse to go back to gambling.

I don't really have time for meetings or to see therapists, plus this will definitely appear obvious to family.

Sigh... this was probably just a waste of time, as I think I already know the answer to my questions, and just needed somewhere to release my problems. This is the first time that I have told anyone or shared my problems anywhere. So hopefully this is the first step in getting myself back to the way I was.

Just an added note to myself. I have had to take out a bank loan to cover the money I lost out of my own weakness and stupidity. I need to remember these things so that I don't EVER part with my money again. I was happy with living on what I earned and still don't understand why I did it. Everytime I think about gambling I will look down at my wedding ring and think that if I ever do any form of gambling again I could very well lose it all!

Thanks for listening people. And I hope you get over this horrible illness too.

Lee 2 years ago

I've always had issues with pride in confronting my gambling problem. Pride, in that I was and am embarrassed about suffering from it and about people who know me finding out.

Taking a reality check on this especially lately, it's highlighted how delusional I actually am with my understanding of pride. Where's my pride when I'm clearing out my kid's piggy banks, or repeatedly begging and stealing from my parents or anyone who's stupid enough to trust me with money or anything of any importance? Where's my pride when I've lost job after job and friend after friend, directly or indirectly linked to my gambling? Pride stops me attending meetings because I don't want to share that I'd had a slip or I'm struggling. It's a very contrary part of my character and generally the straw that breaks the camel's back in the daily battle against this.

I come from a very proud family, not wealthy, just proud and very materialistic. The importance of money and having a few quid about me was drummed into me from a very young age and on reflection the reasons were obvious. In many ways I feel that I rebelled against this, in that in the quest to fulfill this attribute I discovered gambling, which obviously and probably at the very early stages of my problem I had a few wins and I enjoyed the effortlessness and fun element to it. The buzz, the rush, we all know the rest, because what I have found, be it through attending GA or in a counselled environment, is that although the content of my journey through this nightmare of compulsive gambling may be unique, the similarity and identity I have found with fellow sufferers is uncanny. So many times I've sat frightened to tell my story and another guy shares an identical version of events across the room. There's no such thing as coincidence, of this I'm now convinced.

Sorry for waffling on again but any time spent here is time not wasted in a casino and I'm enjoying reading every post! Meeting tonight, thank God!

Thanks for reading


michelletee profile image

michelletee 2 years ago from United States Author

Gambling addiction is so bad..because even when we stop, we still have the financial consequences. It follows us for a long time.. and creates shame, frustration.. and most of all stress.

There is no answer for any of us, except to stop... or at least learn to moderate so that we reduce harm to ourselves and our families.

This is truly the worst addiction, with the worst consequences. We have to all grab the bull by the horn now, and do what we can to start rebuilding our lives.. one brick at a time.

Benny50 2 years ago from USA

Since I found this site...I felt kind of relief! Everyday, I open it n excited to read the stories. I don't mind reading them again n again. This site actually helps me to stop my gambling habit. I agree to Michelletee...we need to stop!!!

Dunc 2 years ago

Ive had a huge problem with gambling for the last 10 years since my first bet where I won I aint been able too stop and by using alcohol aswell it has become destructive I played poker drunk online too help me forget about my father passin away and stress that ive had too deal with I was left a fortune over 200 thousand pounds and a house n I lost all the money still have house but if it goes any further il lose that too its put strain on my relationship since I lost mosta my inheritance ive on off gone on too lose personal savins in a matter of a night/couple of days I just am livin in denial thinkin I can get it all back im ashamed ive lost jobs because of my gambling disease hurt family and hurt myself i have considered suicide I need help

Taj 2 years ago

Dear friends I am going to casino last three years but I couldn't save a single penny even sometimes I don't have any money to buy cigarette. Bcz of this bull sheet habit.but last 6 months I never been casino and I saved about 10000 dont make any date stop it from today...Plz brother and sister dont ruin your life . don't forget your life is very important to your families and friends. .....good night

God bless you all...

michelletee profile image

michelletee 2 years ago from United States Author

Thanks for posting Taj. We will always lose at a casino... and we can never save a dime. As people with gambling problems, we chase our losses which we can never win back.

Remember the house always wins.... we have to start winning.. by just not gambling our hard-earned money.

compcoll4000 2 years ago

I am getting to the point where I am actually going to commit to quitting and go to boring meetings. I go to therapy and told my group that I was going to a meeting this week which actually shocked even me. It is as if my brain and I don't agree. I have gotten to the point to where I don't trust my own brain. I have learned through therapy that your brain will do whatever it takes to feel good again. And your brain will convince you that you can win again and all will be well. H

Victor 2 years ago

Am 24 and have been gambling from 17 have lost everything I ever had bit by bit even my education I so nothing but gamble. I stop and start. I really don't know where to turn to. If there's an easy option out I will take it. It make me depress and am nearly homeless because if the betting shops they know exactly what they are doing opening 10 shops on my road south east London woolwich we are a very poor area and yet there's over 12 shops in 1 corner

koniock lench 2 years ago

My promise today is, I'm going to quit gambler & get a new life!

Ash 2 years ago

So I was playing roulette and slots and got £10 up to £350! hit a zero with £5 on it and was on a streak. I then slowly dipped down got annoyed and done high bets and lost it all. Urgh gambling isn't worth it, I wish I left with the winnings

gerard smith 2 years ago

wow reading all this has been an enormous help, lost a 1000 this afternoon ,been doing this for years ,quit smoking 10 years ago after having a appifiny on the front steps, now have just had another one ,tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life.i want to beat this it will be my last win.

michelletee profile image

michelletee 2 years ago from United States Author

Hi everyone! I am glad this hub is getting such a great response. I am also really happy that many of you are finding this hub helpful in your struggle to stop gambling.

My blog is which has a lot of resources for help for people all across the globe.Please check it out when you have a chance.

I was also thinking of starting a conference room so we can have live chats with each other regarding our gambling problems.

You can be anonymous.... and we will not be formally structured meetings like G.A If you have a microphone on your computer, you can actually talk in the conference room.

The purpose will be one that we can support each other in our journey to either stop gambling, or reduce harm from gambling.

I will try to have a topic for each time we meet.

What are your thoughts?

Benny50 2 years ago from USA

Hi Michelletee ! It's a good idea. I would say I'm a former compulsive gambler...I've been struggling to this illness about 5yrs. N almost destroyed my life...I just got tired n finally got awaken that what I'm doing is not's unfair to my family n children. I'm just waisting my hard earned money! I'm happy now n enjoying life without gambling! Time is 5.45 a.m. U.S.'s gym time....stay busy brothers n sisters is good...god bless!

Lee 2 years ago

Brilliant idea Michelle! There are millions of others like us who have never sought help be it through fear or ignorance of how potentially life threatening this thing becomes. There is nowhere near enough awareness of this for people and in my experience it's mainly folk who are struggling financially, ( largely down to gambling) who are in casinos, bookies and online trying to recuperate their losses. It's brought me to 3 attempts at suicide, each time I'd wake up in hospital with tubes coming out my mouth and nose angry that I was still alive. Today is different, I've been bet free for over 2 weeks now and although recovery is a slow and progressive process I have noticed that the washing machine of a brain has slowed down rapidly. I've been getting to at least 3 meetings a week and keeping daily contact with members and this thread has helped immensely. Keep us posted Michelle and certainly count me in to help in any way I can.



James 2 years ago

I he was introduced to gambling on the rolette machines about 6 years ago. I have lost about £120, 000 pounds. My family and my life is in shambles and always angry with my life. Nothing is going on in my life. Initially, turning to prayers through deliverance services helped me for about 6 months and managed to save some money. But when the addiction devil visited me again, I lost so much money and felt life is nothing living for. I gave my bank cards to my wife but was not smart to identify my tricks to get money from her for my addiction. Now my decision is not to handle money in any form. I have realised that the secret is to be transparent with your wife about your income and spendings. Let your wife or family member control your money. I am piloting tarnsparency with my income and expenditure with my wife in addition to wife controlling all my money. With God, all things are possible. i am suffering with gambling addiction and hope these two steps will help me.

I hope the UK government bans all these rollete machines from the shops which are scattered next to people's door steps.

michelletee profile image

michelletee 2 years ago from United States Author

Lee... sounds good.. and congratulations on 2 weeks of being clean! You will keep feeling better each day .. I am certain of that.

Yes.. I will keep you posted on the progress of the conference room. I think it will be a really great support system for all of us! :)

Lee1976 profile image

Lee1976 2 years ago

It's Lee here from previous posts, had to alter my name when I signed up to Hub Pages. Just signed your petition James and more than glad to do so. It's about time this horrible affliction be highlighted globally for what it is. I live in a small town, hit hard by the recession like everywhere else I suppose, there's at least 10 gambling establishments and each sandwiched by a bar or licensed premises. With 35% of business in the area closing due to the downturn none of them were bookies/casinos!!! It beggars belief that the government seem to turn a blind eye to this statistic coupled with the increase in suicides locally. I'm sure this is no coincidence and I imagine it's a scenario replicated all over the world.



Peter 2 years ago

I have been gambling for years and the worst part for me is the realisation that it is just an escape means from the other things in my head. I have won , but never get the real buzz of success, I have lost but never real suffer the consequences of defeat . This is the real problem for me because it's no longer real world. I have 2 daughters and 4 grandchildren whose lives are in the real world , they struggle with finances but they cope, I sometimes bet more than they earn in a month.

I am wracked with guilt, with self doubt, I lose sleep, I have suffered amnesia brought on by stress and yet I consider myself intelligent.

All of these negatives cannot be a good thing, I have tried gamblock, setting up loss limits, self exclusion etc and then find some ingenious way to beat the system . I am lying to myself if I think this is not a problem. I found this site because today I have yet again decided that I have to do something.

Anyone out there who has found anything that works please pass on your advice.

Benny50 2 years ago from USA

Base on my experience(former compulsive gambler)....let's face reality that there's no winning in gambling! I've been in this illness for a long time...I've been depressed in my life. I'm just ordinary hardworking person..lost all my hard earned money...buried in debts! I'm glad I. Have a family that keeps on supporting me. I have 2 kids..19 n 15 yrs. of age...n a wife that suffer the most but still helps me to change!....I realized its not too late...there's hope...I used to attend g.a. Meetings but my schedules at work change so I just keep on reading books or sites like's not too late my friend.....god bless!

Dann 2 years ago

Welcome to the Club! We are all in the same boat. Once you are in, it's going to stay forever. I am a recovering compulsive gamble for 8 yrs

now. I could say I am 90% recovered. Living one day at a time asking

my higher power for help to stop my gambling addiction.

compcoll4000 2 years ago

I am retarted. I must be. My brain has taken over and is running on automatic. I say I am done gambling. Next thing you know I am driving to go gamble. I lose it all and am devastated once again. I have done this hundreds of times upon hundreds of times. When will I get it. When will I have had enough of the pain. I have not taken a shower in a fricken year. I am not even disgusted by that fact. I live in a dilapidated home. I look like trash. I mean what the hell happened to me. I wasn't raised like this. Yes, I grew up in a compulsive household. An alchoholic father and an obese mother. Yes, the past damaged me. Why can other people get it together and I can't. Why does God bless other people with everything and me with no means to live. I am so disgusted by life. They say hand it over to God. Well how long does it take for things to get better. I think I am going insane sometimes.

Lee1976 profile image

Lee1976 2 years ago

I know the insanity you feel compcoll. The repetition over and over again. Finding yourself in a Groundhog Day existence where things you swore you'd never do again, you do again, and as the years go by the complexity and nastiness of what you do gets worse and worse and worse. The rock bottom you thought you hit years ago seems like Disney World in comparison to the one your in today and it gets worse again. It's a bottomless pit that leads only to the gates of hell, if you continue to gamble. I and everyone on this forum understand and feel your pain man. I've found myself walking round the city for hours looking for my car because I forgot where I parked it when I came out of a long day/night in a casino. Absolute madness!!! My mum, God Bless her prays hard for me every day and believes in her heart that God hears everything and with so many people praying for help he will come to me when he can. If you haven't already read it or anyone who'd like a prayer to accompany the Serenity Prayer, Footprints In The Sand is a beautiful and heartfelt piece that always makes me feel that I'm not alone. Keep close to people who are doing well and keep away from people, places and things that you know in your heart will lead you astray. Keep the head up lad and you'll be ok. God Bless!



Benny50 2 years ago from USA

This site is amazing!!!it helps me a lot to my recovery...god bless!

compcoll4000 2 years ago

Thank you Lee for your kind words. I wish so badly that I never got involved in gambling. I have been through years of therapy and am so screwed up. I have to get it together and make some changes otherwise I am going to end up offing myself. What I am doing is not working. I have yet to find what works. I just know that for today I will not gamble anymore. I just got paid and money is a trigger for me.

Kevin 2 years ago

I am addicted to gambling, especially slot machines. I was losing way too much money. This went on for years. Then 3 years ago my income suffered a huge hit. I had to make drastic spending cuts across the board. One of the biggest areas i had to cut was what I was spending on gambling. But I am addicted. I could not stop. Then one day it occurred to me. The solution was right there in front of me all the time. Two little buttons, one of which says “one line” and the other says “bet one per line”. That’s right, I now play just one penny per spin! I can now play for hours, if not all day, on five bucks! Sometimes I play all day and leave a few dollars ahead. I found a way to feed my addiction very cheaply. I spend more time than ever in casinos, yet spend a tiny fraction of what I used to. If you are addicted to gambling, try this strategy. It won’t cure you of your addiction, in fact it may leave you more addicted than ever, but if you consistently follow it it will eliminate the financial problems that often accompany gambling addiction. And my spending more time playing slots for only one penny, you will have less time to spend money on more expensive recreational pursuits. However, if time wasted is the main problem for you instead of the money, then forget this!

michelletee profile image

michelletee 2 years ago from United States Author

Kevin.. the fact that you can play 1 penny per spin is pretty extraordinary. I do believe some people may be able to use this strategy. What I have learned, however, is that many people with gambling problems need to increase their bets to get the same "buzz" or "gamblers high".

If it works for you and is creating no harm.. good for you!

compcoll4000 2 years ago

What kevin is doing is just trying moderation. I tried that. I though it would be cheaper playing bingo instead of going to casinos. Well, now I got addicted to bingo. Moderation and trying to watch the money doesn't work for me. I have tried every which way to work with gambling and in the end it doesn't work for addicts. If you are an addict you wouldn't be able to keep up playing a little to get your high. B

Lee1976 profile image

Lee1976 2 years ago

Kevin I used this method many times and there's no doubt it's a distraction from gambling. But in reality and on reflection, for me it comes with it's own problems. I still suffered all the characteristics of a compulsive gambler. Sitting up all night, glued to the laptop eventually drifting from free spins to searching Google for Free No Deposit sites, where you'd get a 'real' £10 for registering and from here slide rapidly back into that old familiar nightmare life of lying, begging, stealing and all the rest of the horrible character attributes worn by a compulsive gambler. I've become unhealthily addicted to an 8 Ball Pool game online, as I have a Gam-block on my laptop which stops my IP Address gaining access to gambling sites, so the game became a substitute. Here you play for 'pretend' money against people from all over the world and each day you have to spin a slot machine to see how much 'pretend' money you get to play with for the day. I go through all the same emotions as I do when I'm gambling whether it be playing the matches or spinning the slots. Why? Because I'm chasing money, or chasing something all the time, always longing to win, always full of big plans for when I do get the big win etc etc etc. I know in my heart that if I woke up in the morning and every penny I'd ever lost in my life had mysteriously been put back in my account, I'd go and gamble it all again. I just can't be near money or anything even to do with it, even pretend money makes me go cuckoo!

God Bless!


Kevin 2 years ago

I have never placed a bet via the internet. It is illegal in California. All reputable sites refuse action from the United States, and I refuse to deal with shady operators based in the Caribbean. I also don't gamble online because I realize that it would be just too convenient. I am also too busy posting on message boards on various topics and watching videos on Youtube, especially classic rock and country and old favorite tv shows. I read articles about gambling and visit the websites of brick and mortar casinos, but I absolutely refuse to get involved in placing bets online.

I go to a nearby Indian casino almost every week, sometimes twice. I never put anything but one dollar bills into slot machines. Sometimes the cashiers in the cage think it's funny when I ask for change for a five. If I run the credit meter up to $2 I collect the print a ticket and go redeem it. I was there today and left with a net win for the day of one dollar. They still made money from me today because I spent $3.75 for lunch. I had one c-note and 2 fifties in my wallet and never thought about taking them out. I was a little tempted to risk $20 at the Pai Gow Poker table, but I resisted.

Twice a year I go to Las Vegas for 4-5 days. I do play some table games there. I am determined to not lose more than $200 per trip, and preferably not over $100. I play penny slots one penny per spin there also, except last trip I gave into temptation one time and bet 10 cents for a little while. On any trip, hotel and bus fare cost more than gambling. I stay at the cheapest hotel with a casino that I can find downtown (but never the total dump Western Hotel, now closed). One night I splurge on the lobster buffet at the Rio, a high roller casino that paradoxically has an excellent selection of penny slots that will accept one cent bets. I have a friend who lives in Las Vegas that I met on a classic arcade game website. I meet him one day. We go to the Pinball Hall of Fame (I am fascinated with coin operated machines of all kinds!) and to a Chinese buffet. Other than that I eat at cheap places. I weigh over 350 pounds, so I qualify for the free burger at Heart Attack Grill (I am severely addicted to food as well). I go to the public library every day for the internet. I go to church on Sunday morning. Next trip, in May, I will spend one day at the San Gennaro Feast, mostly riding rides at the carnival (but a lot of rides I can't ride because the safety bar won't lock). Someone on another website said that I have the strangest Vegas trips of anybody. "Here he is, in the most exciting city in America, and where does he go? To the library!"

I have never used illegal drugs or smoked a cigarette. I occasionally drink a beer, but not much. My addictions are food and gambling. At least gambling doesn't have any calories. If I weren't sitting in front of a slot machine, I still wouldn't be exercising, I would be sitting in front of the tv or computer.

Benny50 2 years ago from USA

Kevin, if it works for u ....why not? But not for a compulsive gambler liked me... When I gamble...I gamble....I wanna hit big! Timing n luck is my weapon....sometimes u win ..many times u lost! That's the trick of gambling...when u win...u comeback n lose everything!!!....when u experience winnings that's when addiction starts....u gonna starts thinking easy money! But in reality it's not!.... U get buried n buried!.... The best way not to gamble at gambling free!

compcoll4000 2 years ago

I have to stop gambling. I can't afford to gamble. I am piss poor and spend everything on gambling. It is beyond depressing. I think about offing myself all the time because all I ever do is lose. I have lost countless times and still go back for more. I have always been impulsive and compulsive. I have all the process addictions. Funny thing is I have never been addicted to substances like drugs and alchohol. Being impulsive and compulsive sucks. I tell myself I am not buying any scratch offs. Next thing I know I am buying lottery scratch offs. I do everything I say I am not going to do. I have no self control anymore. I live in an abusive situation so that stress doesn't help things. Gambling and my other addictions are my escape from my hellish reality I live in. I keep saying when I get into a better living situation I am going to quit gambling and get my act together. It's just I never end up in a better situation. My therapist says I have to help myself and make changes before I get another place to live in. She says there are things I can do to help myself while waiting on a goal to happen. I am so sick and tired of waiting for my life to improve. I see others winning and getting help. Where the hell is my help? When is it my turn for good things to happen. It takes money to make changes. I am learning that money is not the answer to everything. If you don't have your health you don't have anything. My health is getting worse from all this poverty and gambling. It is a ride I can't seem to get off of.

videopokerloser 2 years ago

Don't be like me. I have no house ... I live with my 22 year-old daughter who thank God does not have a gambling problem and hates it because of me. I have nothing left. A few boxes of things, a few pieces of furniture - that's it! 56 years old and I have NOTHING due to gambling that started about 7 years ago when I moved to Las Vegas. Didn't even know how to gamble until my bf at the time taught me how to play video poker. When I first started, if I'd get 4 of a kind I'd stop and keep the money. This lasted for maybe 6 months. I'd hit and take my kids out shopping, or I'd get comped a night at Stations Casinos local hotels and make a nice weekend of it with my kids. But somewhere along the line that changed into putting that money back in and trying to win more. What used to be just extra cash or play money graduated into greed and boy, I can make our lives so much better if I just won more! To win more, I've got to bet more! I honestly thought at one point that I could be a professional gambler -- lol!!! It's this twisted logic that takes over eventually that gets all of us into trouble, and turns occasional gamblers into every day or every week gamblers. My boss would let me out of work early a few days every month, and instead of going home and spending time with my teenage kids, I'd go gamble until it was the "proper" time for me to go home. This is how sick I became!! It's part of the "lie" we all talk about that we've done, and that's just one lie out of many. I pray to God every day to help me. I just hope some day he hears my prayers.

compcoll4000 2 years ago

I used to win. I used to get so lucky. What happened? I am so tired of trying. I can't go back to a normal life like I never gambled. What is the answer. There are so many of us trying to win our way to happiness. Happiness doesn't come from outside of us. I know all the answers. It's just they never help. Am I crazy?

Lee1976 profile image

Lee1976 2 years ago

It's bizarre how those few very far between wins, keep a hope alive that it can be done, that I can win the life my family deserve, the luxuries, holidays etc, etc, etc... when everything around me is falling to shit! It's what makes us compulsive gamblers I suppose as it's a symptom that I've heard from everyone I've ever met with the problem. The funny thing is I've won huge sums of money in the past, money that would have cleared my debts at the time and gave us a better quality of life than we have now, which wouldn't be hard. Needless to say, I lost it all every time and done nothing with it except further destroy a beautiful relationship with my partner and kids because with the extra cash I'd be AWOL in casinos for longer periods of time. They never knew what I won but I'd say my partner would have a fair idea of what I'd lost because we'd have nothing to eat from Monday to Thursday. I'd go and scrounge a few quid off my mum, who's a pensioner and the oldest most battle-scared victim of my gambling addiction. She'd never see me stuck, so she'd throw me £20 to get bread and milk on the way home. The second that note hit my hand my mind was in the casino, every time. It is crazy but it's also quite frightening because the transition of that thought from genuinely having to make things right by getting a few things for the house to an overwhelming urgency to try and at least double it, maybe even more... Absolute madness!!! I find it very hard to let go and accept many painful things I've done to the people I love. The best way to start to make amends is by staying off a bet... a day at a time...

God Bless


compcoll4000 2 years ago

My mind got me into this mess. It can get me out of this mess. It is all in our heads. We have convinced ourselves of so many ideas it's insane. We have lost all sense of reality. Will all the money in the world make us happy? Money helps don't get me wrong. It won't get you what you want in the end if you haven't found what you want in the beginning. Soul searching is the key to changing anything. We are all obsessed with what we don't have. As if having it will make us happy. If I wasn't happy before money I won't be happy after it. I don't even know who I am sometimes. I have lost myself in all this. Who I have become is not who I was before I started gambling. Gam

Benny50 2 years ago from USA

To beat this addiction is a great pride to yourself !.. Be strong n keep the faith...god bless!!!

compcoll4000 2 years ago

I go to a group that treats addiction and mental illness cuz I have bipolar disorder on top of issues with process addictions. One thing I have learned in recovery is that there is no beating addiction. There is no cure for addiction. You can only hope to manage it. Being clean involves managing your addiction. We are powerless over our addiction. If we weren't we would be able to do it in moderation. I try and try and try to get a hold of my urges. Sometimes I succeed and most of the time I fail. I have an addictive personality. If I enjoy something I get addicted to it. I am currently trying meditation videos on youtube which are helping me with my urges. I have tried so many things and will continute to experiment until I find what works for me. I am in a better mood today than my earlier posts. The support I get from you guys is really helping me. Just the feeling of not being the only one struggling with addiction really helps me. Thank you to all of you for your kind and supportive words. It means alot

len 2 years ago

we all have stories to tell but just by reading all your stories, it said it all. I can see myself in all of you guys. The shame, the fear that if you ask for support that you might disappoint those people supporting you, thus at the end losing their trust. I need support and will power! so scared i might not be able to do it....

thanks guys

Benny50 2 years ago from USA

You're not alone my friend.... There is hope!!! Keep the faith... God bless!

quitter 2 years ago

Sigh... so, about a month ago after a big loss in the casino, I put in writing for the first time right here that I had a problem with gambling but that I was going to stop for good. I said that I would be strong enough to do it as I had stopped before so I can do it again, especially as I had to take a loan to cover the loss. The only people that knew about my problem were you guys if you read what I had written.

... Well needless to say, I was wrong. Last week I lost all the money I had borrowed. I disappeared after work ignoring all calls from my wife and family and spent the evening losing all the money, only leaving with a sick feeling in the stomach... the same feeling I had the last time I said I would quit.

I have a massive problem and that night I went home and came clean to the wife (lied about how much I actually lost) but told her where I had been and that I have a problem. And when discussing the problem I explained where I think the problem stemmed from as I have grown up with gambling my whole life with my parents going casino, mah jong and cards at home etc. So I've now surrendered all my cards to my wife so if I ever need cash I have to ask her for it, and I put only a few pounds in my pocket before going to work.

So this is my new start at tackling this problem. Seeing my wifes disappointment in me broke my heart, but no one feels more guilty and ashamed than me, which I explained to her. I told her that I love her and that is why I did not want to lie to her, and wanted and needed her to help me. Her sad and disappointed face will remain with me forever but at least she understands and is here to help me.

Yes, coming clean is hard but worth it if your loved ones are willing to help and especially if you get to beat the addiction. I hate myself knowing that I wasn't able to beat it on my own, but I realise that now. I've got a new loan to cover the last one and the losses... and I'm working lots of extra days overtime to pay for my habit. Sorry for this exra long piece, but I wanted people to know that bottling it up and hiding it did not work for me, nor did reading other people's horrible situations. I just know that I am desperate to stop and doing as much as I can now to stop. Hopefully this new turn of events will end it and I won't have to write on this page again. Wish me luck and I hope all of you manage to kick the habit too. I always hope that everyone stops gambling so casinos lose all their business forcing them to close.

videopokerloser 2 years ago

Wow, quitter. We're all on the same page with this sickness, and so happy your wife is supportive because that is 80% of the problem solved right there ... someone you confided in and can trust to take control of your funding money. Since posting here last week, I received a substantial amount of money from working my ass off. I'm self employed and can get large sums of money upfront, which in the past if that happened, I'd make a beeline for the casino. Uh uh, not this week. I paid all of my bills, gave my daughter some money, bought myself a few things and I still have enough to live nicely. I'm proud of myself, but inside, my guts are crying out to me to go gamble. I can't!!!! No way! I'll be in the same shape I was last week, hurting inside bc I lost and could have done things for my family instead. It's a struggle, a terrible struggle that I hope and pray I keep succeeding at. One day at a time, right?

Benny50 2 years ago from USA

Good job day at a time... Live life gambling free!... Just stay busy my friend... If there's a will there's a way....god bless!

compcoll4000 2 years ago

Quitter, don't beat yourself up. Addiction is not easy to beat. Addiction is about as easy to beat as a casino. It takes a huge commitment to get real with yourself. I am still working on getting real with myself after 17 years of gambling.

quitter 2 years ago

Thanks Compcoll4000...

However I have now got this nagging feeling in the back of my head making me think that maybe I shouldn't have told my wife and given her this extra burden. I know she is there to help now, but I can't help but feel that I've now put a little wedge beteeen us, and wonder if she will ever trust me with money again.

And there is the thought that I could still have done it myself without telling her. I could have just left my bank cards at home in a drawer whenever I go out and that alone will prevent me from gambling.

For instance, right now I'm at work 45mins early, and only 5mins walk away from a casino... but I have no cash and my wife has my cards, so I have no means of gambling. But did I really have to tell her for this to happen? Leaving my cards in a drawer at home would have exactly the same outcome and I wouldn't have had to disappoint my wife and put her through all of this.

Or is coming clean still the right thing to have done as an addiction is never beat, right?!?! Thoughts?

Benny50 2 years ago from USA

My friend quitter...I've been in your situation before! This is my story ...I'm a compulsive gambler...maybe about 5- 6yrs. I experienced winnings but losing more till I got addicted into it. I started to chase my loses..which would never happen to recover...there's no sum it up still u lost! I lost all my hard earned money....borrowed money from my 401k..I have debts to pay from friends! But still I'm fortunate that my wife understand my situation. I attended a g.a. Meeting ..she's with me...from there she was able to understand my illness. To make the story short, we make arrangement, I surrender my credit cards, on my's a direct deposit check...she's in charge financially!'s really very hard to stop...because its in the brain that dictates u! Thers no cure but it can be arrested! ...the first thing u ask is your self? Do u really want to stop? It depends on u my friend...but there's HOPE!

Lee1976 profile image

Lee1976 2 years ago

You've done the right thing by telling her quitter!!! I found myself in the same situation many times. What I have found, for me personally, with all the emotional destruction I've bestowed upon my partner and family over the years is that, as horrible as it sounds, it does no harm to not have that total trust back. Every time things begin to mend and trust begins to grow, their defenses drop and ultimately the insidious nature of this condition kicks in. I've betrayed trust so repetitively that it's just become second nature for those close to me to keep an eye and be careful, especially when it comes to money. I don't mind, in fact I'm relieved in many ways because I just can't help myself if there's even a pound sitting about, I'll lift it and gamble it then wreck my head with guilt for a few hours until the pain mysteriously disappears and I'm ready for action again. I'm not sure if any of this is making sense, in fact it shouldn't because it doesn't, but it's my reality and I loathe it. Needless to say, I've slipped over the past few weeks and to be honest, despite charging back into the meetings and getting stuck into the literature, it's always in my mind. I've been out of work since March 10 and even though my gambling problem was horrific when I was working, it's been worse unemployed. My recent mental accountability for having a bet is that my eldest daughter's making her First Communion in 2 months and I haven't a pot to piss in. In the process I'm leaving us with nothing. Struggling everyday. All I'm gambling is a few quid but it's all we have. I'm in a dilemma now because, 2 weeks ago I got a parking ticket outside a casino and with procrastination being what it is I put off paying it as you get a 50% discount if you pay within 2 weeks. It's due tomorrow and I don't have a penny and certainly no idea of where I'm going to get £90 within the next 15 days!!! I've been having suicidal thoughts a lot more frequently lately, coming to the conclusion that the world would be a better place without me but I couldn't do that to my family. It'd be a testimony to my selfish character! I'm sick of being sick and need to get off this nightmare of a merry-go-round now. My heart goes out to all the tortured souls out there suffering the pain of gambling, I understand your pain....

God Bless


compcoll4000 2 years ago

I still cannot be real with myself. Gambling is destroying me. I chose to buy scratch off lottery tickets. I spent more than I can afford. Now I am once again miserable with a migraine. I wish I would just off myself. I absolutely hate life. I am just venting. I am not going to go off myself. I am really pissed off and sick of these God forsaken migraines!!!

quitter 2 years ago

Thank you for your input Benny50, I thought about it some more and I've decided that it was definitely the right thing to do... as a lot of what people here have said is the same for me. Soon after I say I'm never going to gamble again I find myself back in the casino. And the reason why I told her is because I want help to STOP!!!

I've stopped before... about 5 or 6 years ago. And even when 3 years ago, after my dad told me to buy some shares which I bought £10,000 worth of, they quickly dropped to 50% and I sold as I didn't want to lose anymore. I had lost £5000 and didn't even think to chase the loss or gamble... I just worked more and recovered the loss.

Just thinking that something has happened to me over the past few months which has made that urge come back. I dont blame anyone else other than myself for being weak, but I've had a very stressful unhappy year and that's what I think I put it down to.

So telling my wife is a good thing, I'm having to stop all over again, but this time I have my wife's support.

Lee, didn't you go bet free for a couple of weeks a few weeks back? What happened? You need to do the same as me and get back on track. It can be done... I've just lapsed but quitting for good this time!

Benny 50 2 years ago

I just wanna share my life without gambling....I'm off today....the urge got into my brain .....huh no way... I promised to stop! Instead I went to gym... N from there u meet motivated people....that's keep me going n forget the urge to gamble!... This time .. I'm enjoying my breakfast... Eat good ... Enjoy the hard earned money. In a healthy is good... God bless!

compcoll4000 2 years ago

I have to change the way I think about things. I have try thinking differently. I am going to change my perception about things. Stop being so negative and pessimistic. I surrender the struggling so hard and fighting. Resistance causes suffering. I have to learn to go with the flow more.

Benny50 2 years ago from USA

I wish each n everyone of us has control to stop this's very hard but we need to be strong n prepared once the urge gets into our brain... .the enemy(casinos/poker room/scratches/lottery..etc) is just around the's real tough....the temptation is very strong!.... But We can beat this my friend....this is a battle between good n bad! This this enemies that I mentioned are created by destroy our have miserable make sins!....that will not happen to us my friend...we are god created human beings....we have the power to resist this evil creations...there's higher power my friend...keep the faith...god bless!

quitter 2 years ago

Now that I have admitted my problem to the wife and have no access to my money, I am now trying to recoup all the losses I have made over the last 15 years of gambling. I calculate that to be probably around £50,000 if not more!

I can do that by working all the overtime I can, and dont see myself having a life other than work... or do just say what's gone is gone? This month alone I worked an extra 7 days overtime and I could have done more... but I can see it tiring me out.

compcoll4000 2 years ago

I feel good today. I got on the internet and have been using youtube videos that have more positive thinking. It is getting me to not be so hopeless which is a good step in the right direction.

Kevin 2 years ago

It's strange that I am attracted to gambling, since in other areas of life I am not a risk taker at all. I normally hate risk and uncertainty. I guess I make up for my lack of real world excitement by seeking excitement in the fantasy world of a video screen, whether a slot machine, video game, or tv set. The lights, sounds, etc. of a casino are an inviting escape into a fantasy world...except the money is all too real. They certainly know how to mess with your mind and lure you into forgetting that you are spending serious money. I am listening to Aldo Nova's classic rock song "Fantasy" in another Window as I write this. The song isn't about gambling, but some of the lyrics are appropriate. I must remind myself that the money involved is not a fantasy, and keep it one cent at a time cheap.

compcolvinl4000 2 years ago

Kevin, could you imagine if everybody in the casino played with cash. It wouldn't work for the casino. Than people would see that they are blowing real cash when they play the casino table games and slot machines. That is why the casino uses chips and electronic slot machines. Everything in the casino is set up for you to part with your money. The casino has thought of everything to get you to spend your money on a chance of winning. And every game in the casino is set up for you to lose. It is not even odds. Every game in there is in the casinos favor. The thing with gambling is why do we keep going and spending if we know all that. There must be a part of us that wants us to end up with nothing as sick as that is.

miyaisha potowatomi 2 years ago

hello everyone im also a compulsive slot machine gamblier its been 8 yrs. for me and all i do is lie to myself saying im done.ppl dnt think i have a problem tey say shit to me kike if i wanted to stop ill stop i tried gambliers anom. it was stupid to me. all these ppl were there telling us how they lost there everything and now they are recovering. 1m now 30 with 0 credit and cant get any loans to get out of debt. i spent all my school check on them damn machines. why is it so hard to quit. i am grateful for everyone on here sharing ther stories and ideas. somebody finaaly knows what it feels like to constantly lose everything and feel so bad after its all gone. i thank everyone because i need support bad and my famliy think im just stupid and i want to be broke and homeless so they do nothing to help me now. nut ill try again starting today i get payed so hopefully i pay my debts and take all mt loses n move om. thank you again everyone foe sharing. im sooooooooooooooo grateful.

Benny50 2 years ago from USA

Hello miyaisha...accept your defeat n move on ! Get out from the grip of gambling..there's hope!!!!!

Benny50 2 years ago from USA

First of all thanks to the author of this site...Michelletee ! ...we're able to share our stories which served us a learning lesson to everybody who have this kind of illness! On my spare time the first thing I to go on this site...everyday my friend..! Hope one day..we can able to chat...c's gym healthy! Remember garbage in garbage out!

compcoll4000 2 years ago

Once again I went to the store and went crazy on lottery scratch off tickets. I spent like 60 bucks and really can't afford to blow that cuz I don't get paid til the 3rd of next month. I live on so little money that when l gamble it really stresses me out. I am so angry that I can't just get lucky once in a while. I go back and forth. One day I am quitting and not buying anymore. Another day I will see if I can hit anything. Then I even screwed up today. I thought I won 50 bucks on a scratch off. I screwed up and it was only 15 bucks. I left the store and was told to come back in the store by the owners daughter who was there. I thought they made a mistake and it was a hundred instead of 50. No, I made the mistake and it was 15 instead of 50. I am so pissed. I was embaressed and ended up having to give them money back that they paid me.

miyaisha potowatomi 2 years ago

This is for compocll4000 mann, Thats messed up. I had an incident like that myself w/ a scrach off n i didn't win anything i was in tears bout to tear the whole store up. thank god the kids was with me cause i would have probaly went to jail. i' m not gonna lie to u and say its gonna b ok cuz u already know its not. we are all here to support eachother. i hope. i say to u is keep ur head up pay all ur bills 1st. then if u broke oh well u aint in the streets homeless n pray all day.

Lee1976 profile image

Lee1976 2 years ago

It's one thing after another with me too folks. Been very suicidal lately but ironically seem to procrastinate it as well telling myself there's bound to be a way out of this. I could never leave my kids but a huge part of me is telling me that they and everybody else would be better off financially and emotionally if I wasn't about.

I was playing a video poker machine last night when I was supposed to be at a meeting. There's about 20 machines linked up with a £1000 jackpot if you get 5 of a kind. I pumped the shit out of it for 2 hours, £20 after £20 after £20. £180 in total until I felt the frayed cloth of the inside pocket of my jeans. It was money I begged from my brother to pay a parking fine that I shared about previously and get a few things for the child's Communion coming up in May. When the last hand came to nothing I felt sick and even asked the stranger beside me if he could lend me a £5 until tomorrow. He looked at me with the same gaunt expression that I looked at him and declined. I had no sooner got off the seat when someone else, who had been circling the casino like a vulture jumped on and I swear to God he must have played 2 or 3 hands when the 5 of a kind came up. I hadn't even got my coat fully buttoned. If I had a sledge-hammer I would have drove it into his head and no doubt I wouldn't be here to write this post tonight. This exact scenario has happened to me before, a couple of times actually, but never when I'm as skint and destitute as I am now. Is it a sign from the Big Man up above? Probably reminding me that if I had won the cash I'd do nothing but gamble it anyway...

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can;

And the Wisdom to know the Difference...

When is the penny going to drop? I feel like a robotic zombie, a mental loafer and so depressed that the only person in the world who can fix any of this is me.

God Bless


Benny50 2 years ago from USA

Lee, we're all in the same're no t alone...we're all suffering from this illness!!!! Hopefully, one day u realized that enough is enough...we all know that gambling will put our lives in trouble not only ourselves... But our beloved family! Don't worry about the money..u can start a new happily with your family...through hardwork n patience u can stand on your feet back! .....I'm reading all your comments on this site...I understand what u feel my friend....I've been there before! I know u believed there's higher power....keep the faith my friend ...god bless!!!

Lee1976 profile image

Lee1976 2 years ago

Thanks Benny. You have a very positive and constructive input into this forum. I never miss a post despite my illness. I've seen way to many miracles over the years not to believe that there's a Higher Power...

Even as I write this post, the pain of financial and emotional loss still raw, I still have an urge to bet. Woke up this morning to be welcomed by 2 texts from local casinos with a 'free' £10 waiting for me the next time I call in. I've opted out of these offers so many times but they keep coming, especially at times when I'm at my most vulnerable. There's bound to be some sort of law against this type of harassment.

My plan today is to lock myself indoors and watch a few movies with the kids and hopefully try and lighten up a bit. I pray you all have a bet free day. Take care.


Benny50 2 years ago from USA

Your welcome.. Lee! I'm happy for! Pls. On your. Down time( that's when urge starts) go to u - tube .watch g.a. Meetings...a lot of sharings u can helps brother...have fun with your family...god bless!

Greg 2 years ago

First time read the site.

Like everyone else I am a Compulsive Gambler.

Upsetting reading some posts as can relate to my experiences

Unknown 2 years ago

Its all about your desire ...if u wanted to stop u can do million things to stop this gambling ..i used to play from 4 years ago and i arrived to a situation that led me to buy my cell for gambling..i have gambled by many betting texas omaha machines.. now im 23 years old and i stopped all those gambling i started a new life with a good personality .. by being good with my friends.. no stress around ..saving money so i can do whatever i u all having this problem u can easy avoid it ..first think twice and look around all you friends who gambles you can win i day per example 10k .. and the second day you will loose 20 k so its useless ... just listen to my advice and stop all these shitty games because u will keep loosing and loosing your all money..start a new life and forget about your past 1 month later u will fell way better.. and its all about i u WANTED to .. i hope u all people listen to me ..


Benny50 2 years ago from USA

Yes your right..unknown! But it's not that easy! In my case, I slipped so many many broken promises! I think I would comes in different approach to invidual, different situations in life!... I do believe if there's a will there's a way!....hope each n everyone have a wonderfull day at a time.... Enjoy a gambling free life...god bless!

Kate 2 years ago

Spent $1500 yesterday at casino, which was two months of mortgage payments, which I am behind on. Just retired, with no savings, less than one month ago, and have spent just about every day at the casino. My husband has no idea how much I have spent in the last 30 days. The place where I worked closed and I get severance for awhile but not long.

There is no one to take over my finances and it seems that if I have $300 extra I go to the casino and then loose that and then drain my account with my ATM car, which I say I am not going to take but I do. I pray I am done before I lose everything HELP

compcoll4000 2 years ago

Kate, you need help. You need to get to a gamblers anonymous meeting. Don't put it off. You are digging yourself into a hole that you eventually won't recover from. When you are gambling your mortgage money away you need to get help. If you can't stop yourself from going every time you get some money together you have a problem that you have to admit to yourself. You can't fix the situation til you admit to yourself you have a problem that you are not able to control as in saying you are powerless over this. Being powerless simply means you can't do this in moderation. Casinos will continue to take all your money til you have nothing left and you end up penniless. I have known so many people that have blown everything at the casinos. Everything in the casino is set up for you to lose. It is a complete setup. It is not even odds. You are being swindled every time you play at a casino. The sick part is with gamblers some of us subconsciously will blow everything cuz we have a sick thing with suffering. I have been through countless times of quitting and I have even banned myself from the casinos through security and I still struggle with this. Don't let them rob you of a good life. The best revenge is to live a good life.

videopokerloser 2 years ago

Hi everyone! I so LOVE this forum, and I read your comments every day because I get it in my email, but haven't posted because I've been so busy working. I have to say, last week I messed up again. My daughter came into town and gave me $100 while she went and played poker. I lost the $100, plus went to the ATM and pretty much drained my ATM to play more and lost all that. That's it!! I haven't gambled since and I'm on strong footing now. Yes, I want to gamble so bad but I'm not waking up in a sweat, or waking up in the middle of the night sweating with my heart beating so fast that I think I'm going to have a heart attack. I don't have that "thrill" I'm seeking, but then again, I can afford to buy the things I need (and eat!) to survive! I was so happy reading today that Las Vegas where I used to live was down 14% in gambling revenue last month over last year's figures-lol! Made my day, and that a casino called Tunica is closing down in Mississippi. This is what needs to happen! Politicians allowed casinos to be put into place across the country to take money away from people like me (and you) that have no business gambling! Let's put them out of business together!

compcoll4000 2 years ago

videopokerloser, I don't think the focus should be on the casinos closing down and seeing them suffer like we have. Yes, it is fun to see that and can bring people like us some joy. I think too that if the casinos never opened in my state that so many lives wouldn't have been ruined. I also think that if it wasn't the casinos it would have been something else I would have got addicted to. The problem isn't with the casinos per say. The problem is with us that can't control ourselves. We are searching fr something outside of ourselves to fulfill us. We have to find fulfillment within ourselves. I am sounding like Oprah now. Maybe I don't have a clue and am crazy. I look at all sides of things to figure out why I do the things I do. Maybe I will never figure it out but I will keep trying to know myself.

kate 2 years ago

just to have someone respond to me in the manner you did compcoll4000 gives me a ray of hope. I am sitting here crying, like a stupid fool. This is the first and only forum that seems to make me feel better and possibly have hope. Maybe I can stop. I looked up the GA meeting in my area but to be honest with you I have been there before and it seems like the same old same old. I probably did not apply myself as I should have. Please respond again as I need someone to say you can do this. And I thank you for allowing me a good cry. As we all know it really hurts. One day at a time

Thank you again

Gambler 2 years ago

Every Mother's Day I can remember I've been completely broke. An empty card for my mum and another for my long suffering partner. Yet I sat in a casino all day, pumping a machine with the money that we're supposed to be eating with, I walked out with nothing. Last night I stole £2 from the child's purse and got a pound off my partner because I told her I was going to a meeting. I didn't. I sat in a casino instead. I played a video poker machine in 1's and got a Royal with a gamble the very last credit I had left. The joyous rush that hit me was overwhelming, 'I've got Mother's Day sorted this year thank f**k!!!' I said to myself. And I meant it. I had to throw another £10 'on the way out' just as a bon voyage, see you whenever gesture to the casino!!! I couldn't just walk out with the money.

As I left the casino my phone rang, it was a grass dealer I owed £40 to, he'd been chasing me for weeks for it. He wasn't the only one. I owe everybody money, from so many varied sociological backgrounds. Anyway, I seen this as an opportunity to clear my debt with him and in the process took another £20 bag off him to settle the nerves after the 'big win'. I'm an addict of so many things I've lost count although I don't drink, which I like to remind people of when they're trying to have a good time. It can be quite a sobering and unpleasant experience trying to converse with me when you've been drinking, unless I've had a smoke. I'm drink free for almost 4 years now but there's times I do crave it. Although the above should maybe be shared in a different forum. Anyway I woke up this morning with £40 left out of the £100 and felt the urge to get to a 'meeting'. A premeditated bet in other words. The rest is probably self explanatory. This year I don't even have a card for anybody and feel like throwing myself in the canal.

My partner wants me out by the end of the week. My kids will be distraught, they don't know the bad me, they love me so much and don't know any different. But their getting older and I'm sure the penny's going to drop some day soon that I'm an impostor and a fraud. It's messed up how I never seem to think of the consequences of any of my actions until they start unraveling in front of me. Never, think of the children, and their wee hopes and dreams of a holiday or even an ice-cream. I'm in an awful mess and can't cope with the insanity of this life. I've been here over and over and over again and it just gets worse.

I've identified with every post I've read on the forum and thank you all for your strength and wisdom. Please pray for me...

Kate 2 years ago

Something is happening because money was deposited in my banking account today and I keep pushing the idea of the casino away. Which I should with my mortgage so far behind. Today is the fourth day I have not gone to the casino and I am just keeping track on the amount of days I have stayed strong. I will pray for all and hopefully they will pray for me.

It helps to write something everyday and hope all will not think OH MY GOSH it's not her again

compcoll4000 2 years ago

Kate you can do this. It only takes you admitting you can't do this in moderation. Be honest with yourself. I am telling you that if you don't get help you will be another statistic of people losing everything at the casinos. Casinos were not built on winners. They were built on losers. Good people that lost everything enabled the casinos to last. The casinos scam people out of their money. Everything in the casino is strategically set up for you to part with your money. They will get you to spend the money and take everything you have. I can't even tell you how many people I personally know that have either filed bankruptcy or blew their life savings at the casinos. Don't let them rob you like they have robbed so many. Gambling is only a problem when you are losing. How often do we really win at a casino though? I know GA meetings can be boring as hell for some people. You have to find what works for you. If online support is enough great. If you need meetings that is good too. Do what works for you. If one on one therapy is the answer go for it. Read books on gamblers that have quit and succeeded to give you inspiration. You just have to find what works for you. You are trying to fill a void that a casino can't fill. You have to find out what can fill that void so you don't go to casinos to fill it.

videopokerloser 2 years ago


I had money deposited in my account on Saturday. I went to the store to get some things I needed and withdrew cash. The urge to gamble was so strong that I had a stomach ache. I came home though and read the bible (Luke 24) how Jesus sacrificed so much for me. I felt so stupid/selfish thinking that I was sacrificing not going gambling! Within a half hour I felt completely different - calm, and gave the cash to my daughter to buy things. I also gave her my ATM and told her to hang onto it. She still has it. I'm going on almost 2 weeks without gambling. Praying for all of us as well. I guess I found what works for me, compcoll4000. When I feel that urge (which is almost always a feeling or ache in my stomach), I pick up the bible. I have a pocket-sized one and just having it in my purse stops and reminds me. I don't think I could carry a bible into a casino because of the evil there!

compcoll4000 2 years ago

The only thing that is evil in the casinos are people being cheated out of their money. People just don't realize that they are literally being cheated out of their money. The state allows this cuz of the tax money. That is all they care about. What is sad is that the state doesn't give a crap about the lives affected by problem gambling. It is a fact that the people that gamble the most are the people that struggle the most financially. Kate I love that you are finding what works for you. You have a lot going for you with God. You just have to come up with ways to cope when you feel like your prayers are bouncing off the ceiling. I am speaking from personal experience. I am so wanting to go gambling. I want to take me check and go for it to see if I can win. I am playing the tape though. I am seeing all the ways I will be miserable if I go and do that and end up broke once again. Gambling really is a hard thing to deal with. It is such a mind trip. I am currently using youtube videos with meditation to see if I can get into a better frame of mind so I don't have that constant craving. That craving is like crack. lol

kate 2 years ago

I went. Took the money out and thought I would spend $100. Gave my ATM card to my husband and told him not to give it to me no matter what. We ran out of money, he gave me the ATM and blew all the money in the account. I do not get paid until Wed and it is only Thrus. The worst part is that the casino sent me $70 free play credit. I'm thinking that if I go up and just spend what they gave me that maybe I can win something to tied me over until I get paid. There is no money to use in my account so my sick mind is thinking I have nothing to lose but maybe something to gain. Am I plaing games with my brain?

I know that gambling is my problem but it is so ironic that I go to gambling to forget about my problem. There is a meeting at 7:00 tonight but I don't think I have enough gas to get there and still have gas for the rest of the week

kate 2 years ago

I think I am not listening. After my last post I went back and read what everyone had written and I did not follow through with anything that was suggested. I am not, at this point, doing anything to help myself. Time to listen and thank you all for your advise.

quitter 2 years ago

Kate we've all been there and gone back on what weem have said especially when it comes to the gambling. I've not gambled anything at all for two weeks now... and it really does help that my wife keeps all the cards and money now. I only ever carry £10 in my wallet if that, and whenever I need to buy lunch I ask my wife for some pocket money!

I lapsed big style a month or so ago and starting all over again but with help from someone who knows about my addiction really does help. Only trouble I had was asking my wife for money to buy her her mother's day present from the kids!

videopokerloser 2 years ago

Kate: I'm sorry to hear what happened. I messed up about 3 weeks ago draining my account and that is the last time I gambled. It's been 3 weeks today - my anniversary of sorts, and guess what? All my bills are paid for the month and I have extra money, and what am I thinking of doing tomorrow? Going gambling. It's 4/4/14 - lol! My superstitions are ridiculous. Any excuse, right? My twisted brain, and I have so much work to do because my business has been skyrocketing in the past few weeks because I truly believe God hears my prayers and nothing but good has been happening to me since I quite gambling! So now I'm thinking of messing that all up tomorrow!! Then I started to have a panic attack today thinking going gambling, then I opened up my email to read my horoscope. The first thing I saw? Resist the Urge! for April 4-6. LOL! How many signs do I need?! I cannot tell you how much better I look and feel since I quit. My face is not all contorted anymore with anguish...the sparkle is back in my eyes. I don't have the aches and pains I had from gritting my teeth and tensing my body while sitting on my butt losing money. This addiction is so hard on all of us, physically and financially. And still I want to go. :(

compcoll4000 2 years ago

Kate we have all been there and have gone back for more torment. It is part of the game we play with ourselves. And our sick brains will continue to try to find relief in all the wrong places. Our sick brains will send us false messages til we end up with nothing and or dead. It is sad that you get to the point where you can't even trust your own brain. And every time you go back you reinforce that part of your brain called the reward center. Once it gets toyed with it gets activated and will get you to do things your rationale mind would never do. That is the sickness of addiction in a nutshell. Don't beat yourself up. In reality only 8 to 10 percent of addicts stay clean from using 12 step programs. It doesn't have a high success rate. That is why I say you have to find what works for you. If you are doing what you can't afford to do than I say you either stop yourself or you get help if you can't stop yourself. Gambling is a ruthless addiction. People gamble for all sorts of reasons. Don't bother trying to figure out why you gamble it will drive you nuts thinking that much like I do to myself. I hope you can resist the urge to gamble and get your life together. I have seen gambling ruin lives. I know of people that have even committed suicide over gambling. I know of people that have gone to jail over gambling. Our brains will betray us just to get that thrill of gambling.

kate 2 years ago

Wow! compcoll4000 gambling really does block all out senses. I forgot about the reward center of the brain and everytime you hit it it becomes deeper and more demanding for a return. I would imagine like a literal drug. This Hub has been so helpful. After blowing it this week and feeling like I was so stupid, which I was, and then coming home and reading how others have fallen back and regained their will to stop again makes me fell, again, like I can do this and I am not alone. I want to thank each and every person that comes on this site. I believe we can all help eachother. Thank you Thank you

videopokerloser 2 years ago

We've all fallen, Kate. You just have to dust yourself off and get back up. The reward center in the brain is scary. Like any risky behavior, you're constantly seeking to satiate that thrill whether it's racing cars, sky diving, drugs, etc. There are ALWAYS consequences. I'm lucky today that it's pouring down rain, thundering and miserable out. No way am I going out in this weather to gamble. Tomorrow, hope I find another excuse. Gotta take it one day at a time.

kate 2 years ago

Good morning all. I pray we all have a gambling free day. Go and do something else that will bring us joy

videopokerloser 2 years ago

25 days today of no gambling. Spent the day babysitting my grandson to let my daughter catch up on some much needed rest. Much better than sitting in a dingy, smelly casino losing all my money. The urge is still there though...not denying that. Prayers to all.

windrider 2 years ago

I called the suicide prevention hot line this morning. I was so down......I am getting my family in financial trouble...I want to stop and need help....any suggestions would be greatly appreciated...thanks

michelletee profile image

michelletee 2 years ago from United States Author

Hi Windrider..... that is good that you called for support. Remember that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. If you have any plans to harm yourself, please go to a local emergency room and see someone in person. If these are just thoughts and no plan (which I am hoping), look for a counselor that you can talk to about your gambling issue.

I have felt suicidal myself after a gambling binge and have called the hotline as well. I just felt so low at the time after blowing so much of my hard-earned money. It is the worst feeling in the world and I really get it. This is such a painful addiction because even after a binge, we are stuck with the consequences of debt, loss of savings, and loss of self-worth.

This is the worst possible addiction ever, but we can beat it! Do not give up.. just get some support, keep posting here on this forum.. okay. Things will get better when you stop gambling.

Also , for debt, there are free credit counseling services to help organize your finances and help create a plan to pay off debt. Just make sure it is non-profit.

Best of luck to you, and please.. if you are really thinking of harming yourself, please go to a local emergency room now, okay.

videopokerloser 2 years ago

Winrider: I think most of us here have had suicidal thoughts as well, but we're all still here and this list has helped so many because we can relate to all the thoughts and feelings we've had about this terrible addiction. I always felt so all alone and that I was the only one who felt that way but I found hundreds of people here on this list across the world with the same experiences as me, right down to while I'm losing my last dollar, someone hits the jackpot sitting beside me - lol! I can't tell you how many times that's happened to me and how I felt cursed by some outside source, but really, the only curse I had was brought on by me by my addiction. I knew around Christmas that I was never going to recover my own when I won a lifechanging amount of money and put the entire amount back in the machines, right down to my cab money to get home. I continued to gamble after that, never ever winning anything big again or even close to it, and that was the first time in my 7 yrs of gambling I've ever won that much, but in the back of my mind, I'd reached a pivotal point that I was out of control bc regardless of whether I won or lost, I would continue on until I lost everything again, like I wanted to be destitute and broke and the self loathing of hating myself. That night showed me a lot about myself. So don't ever give up - 26 days and counting without gambling. You can make it up in other ways. I have! Good things started happening when I stopped gambling. Your family loves you and would miss you. Money is only money, and you can make up for your losses, but not by chasing it bc the reward system takes over like a morphine drip!

compcoll4000 2 years ago

I hate that I ever started gambling. It was the biggest mistake I ever made. I used to tell my brothers what gambling degerates they were going to the casinos. Than I went and got hooked. I have fought this for close to 16 years now. It is a hard addiction. I keep going back and regretting it in the end. I always think I am going to figure out a way to win cuz I am pretty smart. I think I am smarter than my therapists and addiction counselors. I say they don't understand. They say don't gamble at all. I would love to one day win millions on the lottery and be able to say to my smartass therapists that they don't know everything. I just hate when I am wrong and they end up being right every time I go broke.

Benny50 2 years ago

Life is a journey...we should learned from our mistakes....let's move on...we have life to live.....have a wonderful GAMBLING FREE DAY....!!!

Lee1976 profile image

Lee1976 2 years ago

You summed it up for me there videopokerloser. I like yourself am a video poker loser. I could sit comfortably in front of one all day every if I had the artillery to put in it. All concept of time, lost. No mental state to even muster the strength of thought to plan what your doing. Just hittin buttons, money going up and down, ante going up and down. You had a decent hand thrown to you at 9am, it's 3pm now and account is cleaned out and not a whisper of a full hand. If on the very rare occasion a big win came I don't know how to hit the collect button. It's like a magnetic force field pushing my hand away. I'll play and I'll play encouraging myself to go bigger; with a tiny voice squeaking in my subconscious 'what about the kids?' 'what about the bills? My attention fixed on what's to be the next hand. I feel like vomiting having re-read my post to this point because I have a genuine disgust with myself for being a compulsive gambler but seeing it in black and white gives it an almost out of body experience for me and it's horrible...

God Bless

Jay 2 years ago

It's the day I was waiting for from last 5 years finally I am quitting gambling today after loosing nearly has ruined my life the only you get is stress, feel like don't want to live.. But today was last day when I players online casino didn't win again... Quit quit.. U cannot win from these u will always loose so a message to everyone before it's too late please stop gambling.

compcoll4000 2 years ago

Jay, it's the first day of the rest of your life. Take one day at a time. Don't beat yourself up. That does absolutely nothing. Give yourself credit for quitting. I think the biggest reason gamblers keep gambling is because we don't want to accept our current reality. We want more. We want better. I hope to one day be free of the cravings of gambling.

videopokerloser 2 years ago

Hi Lee: Have that same tiny voice too always saying, what about the bills? And for the most part, I ignored it, shrugging it off my shoulder while it's whispering in my ear trying to no avail to get me to come to my senses. I know it's your inner voice, but sometimes I wondered if it was an angel. When I sit down at a video poker machine, I'm no longer human. I don't feel human throwing money in and pushing buttons like a moron over and over until my money is gone, and that's what's keeping me from gambling so far - 4 weeks today.

Benny50 2 years ago

I'm happy for u..videopokerloser...4 weeks gambling free! I wish each n everyone will have the courage to stop this illness...there's hope!!!

Ngan 2 years ago

Gambling is Evil !!! M0ney !!! make human mad !!!

Lee1976 profile image

Lee1976 2 years ago

Well done videopokerloser!!! That's a much greater achievement than any money you've ever won in a casino. It's a daily battle for all of us by the sound of things. There has to be a way a petition signed by every compulsive gambler and their 'close' family and friends highlighting the medical and sociological effects of the addiction and an urgency to advertise nationally the reality of it's dangers. Just like cigarettes, or cyanide, or any other thing on the planet that is 'known' to have life threatening side-effects. How would you go about starting something like this and would it make any difference?

videopokerloser 2 years ago

Hi Lee:

What a great idea! I have been doing a lot of research online lately about compulsive gambling. What I've found is that funding for compulsive gamblers is at the bottom of the list. For example, in Florida, even though the statistics are astronomical for people in FL who are admitted compulsive gamblers via a study they undertook last year, state funding is being cut, AND the gambler's hotline is no longer 24/7 ... more like office hours of 9 to 5 or 9 to 7 pm. I would think a Facebook page would be a good start! What do you think?

Benny50 2 years ago

I agree with u guys( lee n videopokerloser )! Thanks to your efforts in finding ways how to deal with this illness!! I'm sure lots of people like us..will be happy!.. God bless!

Mike 2 years ago

I seen this site and feel like for everyone we need to stop and hope we all do. I have lost 30k in past month. From casinos and sports it's gotten so bad I'll be at the bar with my fiancé notice that my team lost lost my temper start fights with her and end up smacking her or pushing her. I feel like after seen so many story's and with mine it's a dead end road gambling and at the end is a complete damaged life I am taking control before it damages my whole life. Thankfully she forgives me and is here by my side still

videopokerloser 2 years ago

Hey Mike:

Give your fiancé a big hug for sticking by you and do something nice for her! 30k - whew! That's about what my ex bf gambled before the mortgage business tanked, and he ended up losing his house, the Jag, the BMW - everything. I didn't get violent, but my family KNEW when I lost at gambling because my mood, outlook, physical appearance and demeanor all changed. And since I starting losing most of the time, I pretty much walked around life in a bad, ugly mood with a horrible fatalistic attitude. I'd walked in and they'd ask me, "So how much did you lose, Mom?" I'd always lie of course. I have an addictive personality that has blossomed since I've gotten older. I now smoke all the time instead of off and on like I used to and I drink more now. When my kids got older, I felt so useless...they didn't need me anymore is what I gathered and so with my ex-bf teaching me, I learned how to play video poker. From casual playing once or twice a month, it turned into every day, and that's when I started losing big time, then chasing my losses. It fed into my already addictive personality. I wish to god I never learned how to gamble. I am now 32 days not gambling, but I woke up this morning in a cold sweat actually thinking I went out last night blowing all my money, but that's how vivid my dreams are about gambling. Thank god it was just a dream because many, many nights before it was my reality. I started a Facebook page which all of you are welcome to join when I get it to a point where it’s helpful. If you join, keep in mind that you need to create a separate FB account if you want to keep this private from all your FB friends as I have done. I'll list Hubpages as a resource (thank you, Michelle, for starting this!) as well as other articles, etc. about problem gambling. Lee, I'm also looking into the petition you mentioned. We can use the FB website to start one. More later!

compcoll4000 2 years ago

I am miserable now.

kate 2 years ago

what happened

videopokerloser 2 years ago

Yes, compcoll, what happened??

compcoll4000 2 years ago

I went gambling and won pretty good. I thought I was on a roll and figured out something that gave me an edge. I lost it all and more yesterday. I am once again miserable that I gave into my urges. When will learn. I give good advice to others. I just wish I would listen to my own advice and use it. Well, I will have a lot of time to think cuz I don't get paid again for 2 weeks. So it will give me plenty of misery and time to think about what I did.

Mike 2 years ago

You need to just stop and don't think about gambling. Everytime gambling comes in your mind just think about your gona lose and how misrable u feel right now. That's what I'm trying to install in my head so far been working only been couple of days so far

Benny50 2 years ago

I'm happy to share to each n everyone that I'm close to 100 days clean...I mean free from gambling! How I do it? I'm serious that I wanna quit gambling...enough is enough...too much pain n sorrow. I accepted my defeat...thers no winnings.....more losses,buried in debts,getting unhealthy..etc....I refocus myself to the right direction....concentrate on my full time job....keep busy on my days small business on the side.....just stay busy whole day. I don't let the urge to gamble to overpower me...!be strong.....just think of the painfull experiences u had! Be honest to yourself.....don't waste your hard earned money...reward yourself instead! Enjoy life in a healthy way...that's gambling free....god bless!

jojo 2 years ago

I believe the Lord sent me to this web site. I have a whole new family and support. I can relate to all of you. I know I need help but haven't found it. Yes I am weak also, and have no confidence that I can do this. And yes I have lost my sef esteem and am so very ashamed of this habit. "God Help Us" as we help each other.

videopokerloser 2 years ago

Benny, so happy for you - yoohoo! I'm right behind you with 30+ days of no gambling. Things are getting done! My laundry, the house is not a shambles with me gambling while my daughter was out working. Dishes done, purse is clean - house is in order and clean ... just normal organization that used to just pile up when I was out gambling wasting money not doing what I was supposed to be doing. No more ATM withdrawal receipts in my purse that I didn't even want to look at and if I did, I immediately got nauseous and wanted to throw up. Yes, I'm bored a lot of times and crave the excitement ... not denying that, truly, but it's the "price" I have to pay for my sanity, my health, my emotional and physical well being. Because in the past year, my life has completely shattered into so many tiny pieces that I'll never be able to pick them all up. I can pick up some pieces, but not the others. And it's all due to gambling. It could have been avoided if I only listened to other people trying to help me, and to my own inner voice warning me to stop.

Jojo, so glad God helped you to find your way to this site. We're all weak at times, and I'm just waiting for the day I mess up, really, but have hope that I won't. The potential is still there, but we're far more stronger than we are weak. God Bless You!

Benny50 2 years ago

Thanks videopokerloser...that's the way to do it..just keep that boredome has no room in our brain...focus to something healthy going to the gym...gardening,watch movies..etc n show to the world but most to yourself that u change! U gonna feel better n proud to yourself that u were able to stop this illness! Welcome to this site jojo....I'm just like. U man! We're all weak...we all suffered n carries the pains of this illness. Your not alone my friend...there's hope!

stevex36x 2 years ago

i am a 36 year old male and been gambling since i was 8 on penny fruit machines and gambling as destroyed me and i took many overdoses on painkillers ect only to wake up and be sick in the middle of the night! i pray to god at night not to wake up in this world before i go to sleep! the crazy thing is that i don,t gamble for about a month and go to GA and think i got it under control and then think i will try a 50 and when i lose that its like something takes over me and i start chasing and we all know the rest then! even if i do win a few 100 i,am just back the next day chasing that wonderful buzz when you win! yesterday i was so bored as it was good friday and thought i will try a 50 and ended up losing 600 and just feel horrible as always and tryed to take another overdose last night but sadly woke up this morning. you see my main problem is that i got so much time on my hands as not worked for 12 years now as i been on the sick for depression though gambling and scared to work as if i end up not liking the job ect i will go on JSA which is 50 a week were i get 250 a week rent paid atm, i feel so trapped! can anyone help me with this please. i try to go to the gym and cook healthy stuff as that helps kills the day but when i have had a loss like yesterday and like i always do in the end i just stop going and eat all junk food then as that helps me keep my mind off the loss by eating junk food! i know i got a addiction personally! but as i said i feel so trapped with not working and this is killing me!! be so grateful for any help before its too late as my body is not going to keep taking these overdoses. best of luck to all of you on here beating this terrible illness.

videopokerloser 2 years ago

Hi Stevex36x:

Ouch - $600. Yep, I'm pretty sure everyone on this list has done that. First of all, don't take your ATM with you. Only take the amount you intended to gamble and leave the ATM at home or better yet, with someone you trust. Steve, stop with overdosing, please!! You have friends here and people that are in your same shoes that you can turn to. We all understand, believe me! I am at 40 days without gambling, and I'm bored too. It's the worst part of not gambling, not getting that euphoric high from winning, and I get that high even on small wins even after winning nowhere near the amount I'd lost so far that day! Tony Robbins talks about the Insanity Principle as doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. That's gambling in a nutshell! I have a home business that I started last year that is now doing okay and keeping me somewhat busy, but I've also found things I can do online to bring in a few extra bucks. I don't know where you live, but there are surveys you can fill out, if you're computer-wise you can work for Amazon or Google as a search engine evaluator ... all kinds of things you can do at home provided you have or can set up a PayPal account. Another thing I've done is write down all the reasons why you shouldn't gamble, how it makes you feel, or start a personal journal. When you go back, it's amazing what your thoughts are that drove you to gambling again. I'm just throwing some things out there for you, Steve. I have also made a list of things I need or need to do. I did this before I stopped gambling in March. When I'd come home after losing money, I'd see that list and realize that I could have checked off 2-3 things I needed if I hadn't gambled. These are all things that have worked for me. Quitting gambling is a job!! It truly takes deliberate effort to stop. You can't just get mad at yourself one day and say you're not going to gamble again. You need a plan. And my true test will be next week when I receive a large amount of money. I already have my daughter on alert and told her I was going to give her X amount of dollars. I did this to ensure that I didn't take that money I promised her and go gamble it. It's making commitments to others and myself that has helped me. God Bless You, Steve. Don't take those pills again! Let us know your troubles because we're here for you!

stevex36x 2 years ago

thank you so much for your advice video poker! yeah its weird as i get a high from winning small too! i,am not the type that trys to win 1000s at once! i will stick 100 on a good football team just to win 20 as the odds are 1 t0 5 and be happy for the day then! i guess its that feeling inside were you don,t feel hopeless or useless no more and you achived something but then its the problem when that football team that should be a cert losses or draws then i can,t just say oh well never mind!! i never to chase that money then and i can,t chase it by betting another 1 t0 5 shot so got to put 20 in roulette and have 4 pound on 5 numbers to get it back or go broke which happens most of the time!! what is strange too is when i get my money back and am even i get that same great buzz too!! i not made anything but am happy as i was 200 down and got it all back! and know that sounds weird and strange but thats how i am mate!! and well done mate to you for not betting but as you said the really test is when you get paid mate! i hope you give your daughter the money you promised as that will be a buzz in it self knowing you made her happy and the fact that you not wasted it again! i hope you keep us informed and tell us what you did instead of gambling and your thoughts ect!! remember another bet is just adding to our losing streak and if we do get lucky and win that day or week its just delaying the losing streak!! all the best mate, god bless you.

quitter 2 years ago

So, after being clean for over a month I broke again on Friday. Even though my wife keeps my cards, and everytime I need money I have to ask her for a few pounds I still went into the betting shop to play on the roulette machine!

For the last month I only ever carry a few pounds with me, but on Friday I had a bit extra for food. Whilst waiting for a bus I went into the betting shop and thoughtlessly put my money in the machine. I slowly started to lose and felt angry with myself again.

Anyway somehow I ended up £2 up and I thought "what am I doing???" Before taking it out and running! Even though I won £2 instead of losing £20 I was still so angry and disappointed in myself at being so weak! So I guess I'm back to the drawing board and starting all over again!

compcoll4000 2 years ago

I got kicked out of my group therapy last week. It feels like everything is just working against me. This guy in my group decided to push my buttons and thought I would just not say anything about it. I ended up telling him off and then told the therapist off for backing him up. I am so sick of people not taking my side on anything. I feel like I am all alone all the time in this world. I have no friends left. My friends have either moved on or died. It is really getting to me. And the group therapy I am in has a lot of low functioning people. So I am bored out of my mind most of the time there. I don't know what the answer is. I have bipolar disorder on top of addictions. I sometimes feel like what is the point? Why am I even trying? I wish I would just croak.

michelletee profile image

michelletee 2 years ago from United States Author


When you are angry and yelling, many will not take your side... even if you are right. People will shut down... and pull away, just from the anger. It is like that with everyone.. not just you. That group may have not been for you.. and if not, it is really okay. Not all all groups are healthy and beneficial.

Regarding your Bipolar,... it does not identify you.. it just means your moods go up and down... like many of us. But you talk about "whats' the point?"

We all have a point.. and you do as well. You are an important part of this forum, and you contribute a lot here. We all want you here.. okay.

If you are actively suicidal, please contact your local hotline. I have many resources at I am hoping these are just thoughts, which I believe they are.

Lets' all work together to stop this gambling insanity.. and help one another throughout the world.. that Compcoll can be a point.. a meaning... gambling addiction is insanity.. and the slots are worse than crack cocaine....

You will be alright.. I know you will. Just take a deep breath and know that we are here to support you, okay :)

Michelle Tee

Rjank2u 2 years ago


I am a admitting to everyone here that I am addicted to gambling! This problem quickly got out of hand in the last year! It used to be an occasional distraction a couple times a month! When I suffered an injury and became disabled it slowly became a horrible sickening, addiction! I feel so sick and ashamed, so that I almost want to make myself disappear from life! The pain I feel deep inside is gut wrenching! How could I act so carelessly! I feel that my injury and disability -medical condition left me in a place where - I felt my life was out of control! The pain Meds that I have to take, Change the way my brain works and takes away my normal self control! I need help! I do not want to live like this! GOD please help me find my way!!!! I may not have the long life that I thought I would but, what I have left, I want to live my life well!

stevex36x 2 years ago

well rjank2u you done the first most important thing by admitting you sucked in by this terrible illness! as we all know on here we are powerless! i lost all my friends too though gambling as it makes you a loner i found! i guess you got the same problem as me were you got so much time on your hands and the only thing to pass that time is gambling which in the end always makes us sadder then we already are! you should try and go to GA meetings as you may find good friends there who all understand this terrible illness!

kate 2 years ago


You were the first to respond to me when I came on this forum and no one had ever made me feel like there was hope with this gambling problem. After you did respond I felt happier than I had in a long time. Please know that you have a definite purpose for being on this forum. It has only been a couple of weeks since I have written and I have to admit I have not been perfect but there were many times I did not go to the casino because I thought about the things you told me. Please don't let other people affect you. There is no one out there that is worth it. Keep strong because I know I need you to.

videopokerloser 2 years ago

It is really amazing and encouraging to read these posts. All of us has helped someone else because at one time we've walked in your shoes down that same path of destruction. Everything in a casino is designed to get your money, and lottery and scratch off ticket commercials all goad with the same thing - you're going to win! Yeah right! Few people actually do, and they prey upon those of us with gambling problems. Lottery/casinos are predators after our hard earned cash, and especially for people with too much time on their hands due to sickness or injury. It's just terrible and I feel so sad for all of us that we ever found this way to gambling! God Bless All! Keep the faith every day because that day might be your last gambling day. Life is too short to be miserable.

compcoll4000 2 years ago

I cannot even believe things lately. I played the lottery last week and was one digit away from 200,000.00 I am still pissed. It could have meant a decent place to live and a new car which I need. I mean what does it take to get a break. I do want to thank all of you for your kind words through this difficult time. I have gone to my group therapy place for 3 years. I went 5 hours a day and 5 days a week for three years. I feel lost without it right now. I cannot believe how they treated me after going so long. I think it is the right time to move on though. When there is so much negativity that means it's time to move on. Thanks again for the encouragement I received from you all. It shows me there are people in this god forsaken world that do care.

videopokerloser 2 years ago

Compcoll: That's the way it is with gambling ... it's always "one off" from winning big. Same with video poker, slots, card games - you name it. And that's what keeps you coming back and doing the same thing over and over again and usually losing. That sucks about your therapy group, and it's great you went so long - 5 days a week for 3 years, wow! It shows you have tenacity and you can stick with something. You can also use that same trait to stop gambling too! A few days ago, I was by the casino with one of my friends and I knew I had free slot play, so I said, "let's go in and I'll play this off. Take my card and don't under any circumstances let me have it back." So I played it off - lost - and walked out with him. I didn't spend a dime of my own money, and really, it wasn't that thrilling for me. So I've broken my almost 40 day run with not gambling, but at the same time, it taught me that I wasn't all that crazy about being there anymore.

Kate 2 years ago

I did the same thing when the casino gave me free slot play. I actually won $97 on their money. But I spent all but $20. To show how messed up the casino makes my brain because I beat myself up for not keeping the 97 and thought about that all the way home. But I was happy I kept the 20. It is like there is never a really happy point.

Now that I am retired I get bored and my husband is all for saying lets go to the casino and I am so weak I say sure. I am trying deperately to catch up on my mortgage which I can do this month if I stay away from that casino. Need lots of prayers and thank all for your help

Benny50 2 years ago

That happened to me before( compcoll,videopoker,Kate )! ..I was 6 months not gambling...then of no reason...I found myself in a poker 2 hrs. Playing ..I hit a small bad beat jackpot( Texas holdem poker)I won $1500!i left the casino happy....the ff. days n weeks I keep on I started to liked it again...because I'm feeling lucky again!...but one day, my losing days starts...I keep on chasing my losses till I lost everything...I'm back to my illness! My friends I just wanna share my I'm recovering ...! God bless n have a free gambling days!

stevex36x 2 years ago

and that happens to me on the roulette machines in the bookies!! i never bet for 4 months before and they send me a text for williams hills saying if you show this number you to the staff at our shop we will give you a free 30 pound credit so i went there and won 140 off it and then i felt so happy with that buzz you get! next day won 210 and at the end of the week i was about 600 up! then oneday i took 100 in there and loss it and as always something takes over you and you chase it and kept going to the bank and in the end loss 1300 in oneday so ended up 700 down! those roulettes are designed like that to payout and then oneday take everything! is anyone else on here addicted to those bookie roulettes? there a nightmare and hope this corrupt uk goverment ban them soon but how can they as there getting 30% tax from them!!

Dee 2 years ago

I created a long long long message about self on how i involve in gambling for 2 hours,, but and the end i decided to delete it agian because its very long.. to cut the story short.. I really want to stop my gambling habit. I read this forum and the comments from top upto the last post... i lost bigtime.. i lost everything that i have.. family and friends.. i feel the pain of all people here.. i always keep saying to my self, i will stop gambling, ill focus my self in somethings, bla bla bla. but same shit happens.. by the way i live in a poor country salary of my father is $150 per month NET salary. I learned to scam people, stole theire credit because of gambling.. i learned how to hack because of this addiction.. at first i always win, just today already won $1000 but i lost all of it.. last december, christmas day, that was the saddest christmas ever in my life.. I gambled the money that supposed to buy food, drinks gifts to my family.. i just lied and told them that i was scammed online.. but the truth is i lost it in gambling..... I promised to my self by 2014 ill quit gambling.. but what happen.. now is april.. still playing.. and same thing happens.. february.. I went to my parents because my momother was in the hospital and she was undergoing an operation because her left foot need to cut to stop in infection, (diabetic) i have $5,000 cash on hand on that day... and i felt bored and i said to my self "i just need to spend a little time in casino by betting $1" and i did go to casino with $5000 cash on hand.. then i play.. and i get bored because my winning is low ($1) So i went to bacarrat table and start to bet $50 and i won, and my betting was increased because i felt im lucky.. believe it or not.. in 30 minutes i won $1,500 so i said to my self, i think its time to run. but i said just 1 more bet then im done. so i bet $200 in banker and i lost, so i said "lets try another $400" then i lost again, i felt confident that it will hit banker because i have more money left, and then i bet $800, $1600, $3200 then boom! i lost everything...................... it felt like, i cant move, i cant even stand, i said to my self i hope i am only dreaming..... but i want to cry, and i want shout but it happens... when i went out to the casino.. i just realized everything... that my $5000 will help my mother and family... and still on and on and on.. 5 days ago i won online from my $ 300 it became $6,000.. but same thing happen.. after 24 hours i play again.. and become greedy and then lost everything... i want to quit this habit.. I dont want to ruin my family.. i already lost my friends because until now i didnt pay them.. so far the after reading all the advices, shared stories here, i think the best thing that i need to do is focus to God. and thats it... spend moretime to my 9 month old son..

i will visit here time to time.. and share the progress... 4/26/2014

I declare that this is the start of stopping my gambling habit.

Thank You and may God bless you all

youngguy 2 years ago

Hello all . Thank you for sharing your stories and im sorry for all your hardships. I am 26. A successful engineer I own my own home and nice vehicle and all that . I go backpacking every year to different places around the world for at least 5 weeks . Its one of my favorite things to do . Im kind and funny and have lots of good friends. Now heres the side I try to hide from most people. I cant go to the bar with friends without playing the slot machines . They are starting to see this and I think they know im a bad gambler and its so embarrassing I dont want people to think of me like that but something takes over me and I end up spending a few hundred . Ive gone to play by myself a few times also . Now I dont go to the bar every day so I dont play everyday but when I do I spend lots of cash . Then theres sports betting . I havent won a ticket in probably a year and constantly spend 20 to 50 to 100 dollars every day or two on the games. I work half the month in a camp where I cant buy tickets or play vlts and its not like I miss it when im here but when im bored at home with a week off and everyone is at work I start looking at games to bet and watch for the afternoon. I make alot of money so im not like broke or scraping by but im not liking the person im becoming and it seems to only be getting worse. I try to hide it and think about gambling alot and I feel its starting to affect my relationships with people and my girlfriend. To top it off I know I shoukdnt gamble because my father took his life when I was a teenager because od his addiction to gambling and alcohol. I dont feel helpless I feel like I can quit but not really on my own I need some sort of plan . So I guess just trying to come up with one . It helps to read this forum and I wish all of you the best as I know how it feels like you all to lose hundredsand hundreds of dollars and feel so angry and upset. Never mind about the money but what we are doing to our happiness is horrible . When losing bets can ruinn your day or month . Lose sleep . As long as we continue to base our happiness on whether or not we win or lose today . We are going to lose In the long run . I want to try to go back and think of the things I enjoyed doing that brought me happiness before I started gambling. Thank you for reading ill be posting again

kate 2 years ago

youngguy, you start out by saying you are sorry for our hardships BUT the truth is we all started out gambling for fun. It changes without you even knowing it is happening and all of a sudden it is not fun it becomes an addiction. I am not the one to offer advise because I am still having a hard time listening to people's advise. I keep slipping because the desire is to great and I have not found the solution for myself yet. I'm only writting because I know you sound like me four yearsalo when I did gamble for FUN

youngguy 2 years ago

Thank you kate for commenting . It is not fun for mw anymore . It is an addiction I can see that . Im not sure if its worse because I have expendable money so no one seems to notice but it is changing me . A person should not think about gambling most of the day and I find my self doing that. I cant go to the bar and have fun because im thinking about playing the slots there . IIwant to change im trying to figure out a game plan . I havent lost all hope in myself yet. I dont think ive hit rock bottom but I dont want to try and quit after I get there

Benny50 2 years ago

For u youngguy....gambling is fun if u know how to control or limit yourself..!its MONEY!.........but if are in trouble my friend! .....just stay in this forum....u will learn more!.....( where do fire starts?... From sparks....right?)

youngguy 2 years ago

I totally agree benny . I cant do it just for fun though just because im bot broke doesnt mean its negatively affecting my life . I am past sparks there is a fire and I need to put it out before I lose it all . Being on this forum helps although im up at and csnt gamble anyways. Hit the gym tonight for thw first time in awhile felt good! So far my plan is to stop going to bars for awhile (where vlts are) and stop going inside gas stations just pay at the pump . And start going to gym again and im buying a boat next days off to go fishing instead of being bored. I can do this I dont want to think about gambling and be a slave to it . I want to be normal again

Kevin 2 years ago

If you win and start to feel greedy...let greed work for you by redirecting it. Instead of thinking "if I keep playing I could win so much more", look at your winnings and think "IT'S MINE! and THEY CAN'T HAVE IT BACK!". Then leave with it, or go play penny slots for one credit per spin. Last Saturday I was at my favorite Indian casino. I was $12 ahead. Then they opened the pai gow poker table. I was very tempted to go risk $20 at it. But then I thought "I've won $12. IT'S MINE, DAMNIT! They can't have it back! No way!" and I didn't play pai gow poker. There was another 75 minutes before the bus left, so I kept on playing penny slots and lost $2 back, but I left with $10 of their money.

ME 2 years ago

Iam a compulsive gambler .

I have lived the wrath of this disease,for almost 6 years.

Lost a house ,car,money ,bankcrupty ,court,legal problems

Comming for my job,lost my health mentally and phsyically.

Not much left for this addiction to take from me.

My future is destoyed,it is possible to gamble to far.

Beyond repair.

Iam a female ,middle aged mother,who sold her sole to find who the me in me was.

But in the end all i did was loose me more.

And now iam not so sure i even like me,and i certainly dont want to be me.

This is a brutal addiciton ,but for some reason it offered me so much hope,and comforted me when there was no one there.

I was doing okay till addiction joined in,one day i looked in the mirror and saw an addict.

It was to late.

Gambled it all ,where did i go.

Benny50 2 years ago

Welcome to the club ....ME! Your not alone my friend....I know lot of people that hit the rock bottom.....became homeless just lived to their parents house but still, they were able to start a new life!.... There is hope my friend.....just be true to yourself....that you want to stop NOW!....there is higher power that can gives u strength n power to stop this illness...keep the faith my friend...god will help U!

videopokerloser 2 years ago

Well, things were just going too good for me. My life has straightened out, my income was coming in steadily, so I thought I'd just go to the casino on a high and continue my good fortune there. Wrong! As I sauntered in all full of hope and happiness, only taking what I could afford to lose, which I lost it all, then remembered I had a spare ATM card on me (which I conveniently left in my purse), and pretty much went through that as well. Man! I'm so pissed at myself ... me at over 40 days of not gambling, and I went down with my friend over a week ago to just play off free slot play, which I did and left not spending any of my own money, but you know what that little trek on their free slot play did to me again? It put that bug in my head that I could win THIS TIME (lol!), and got me all caught up in the casino environment again. I truly hate myself for being so cocky and weak at the same time. Geez. Back to square one and kicks in the ass. I haven't hated myself since I stopped gambling before, and here I am back in the Monopoly game of going directly to jail and not collecting $200 when I pass Go. I can't stand looking at myself in the mirror. How lame can I be.

Benny50 2 years ago

My friend..videopoker! You are not happens to all of us. It happens to me so many times.......there's hope!

compcolll4000 2 years ago

I just learned this week my group therapy kicked me out because I argue with the therapist that leads it. Now, the whole staff turned on me and kicked me out. I went there three years for 5 hours a day and 5 days a week. I put so much time into it and now I have nothing. My whole life became therapy. Now, I have no support and no friends. I wish I would just die. I hate life and always have. Maybe, I will just have a heart attack or something and get to croak. I am so fed up with not getting any help. I have tried to get housing for 2 years and nothing has panned out. I live in an abusive household with my brothers. I am 45 and have nothing to show for it. I was so stupid to ever hope for anything in this life. Hope only leads to disappointment. I thing to desire is to suffer as the Buddha says. Maybe he was on to something.

quitter 2 years ago

Nooooooo.... I just did it again! My wife left me have my bank card back to pay for something but I forgot to give it back to her as I was in a rush...

And guess what... the inevitable happened because I am weak! That's another £300 I lost in just an hour!!! What is wrong with me! And now all I can think about it going back to try and win it back to make up for my stupidity! Trying to convince myself that I can do it slowly... just bet a pound at a time and don't go crazy, and as long as I'm sensible I'll be able to get it back... or should I be really sensible, take my loss on the chin and make sure I hand the card back to my wife?!?!

Kate 2 years ago

Do me a BIG favor or do not go back. Last week I needed $200 to meet all my bills. So I took the $800, meant for mortgage, and went to see if I could win that $200. Well I did I got the $800 up to $1100 BUT I walked out with nothing. Do not do it PLEASE

videopokerloser 2 years ago

Quitter, it's the trait we all have. You'll walk out with nothing if you try and go win it back! Don't go and give the card back to your wife. You'll risk something even bigger than the money. Your wife won't be able to trust you. I learned this the hard way myself. Trust is much harder to win back than money!

quitter 2 years ago

Thanks videopoker and Kate... gave my card back to the wife already which leaves me with only a few quid in my pocket a day... best thing for me really.

But my thinking was along the lines of Kevin. With a few quid I can still play a little and mame it back super super slowly. I know you're right though, I shouldn't be trying to make it back at all!

kate 2 years ago

Good for you quitter

dee 2 years ago

posted here, i play again and lost another $2000...... need to work hard again for months to earn that.. or beg for friends.............. I hope i can really stop gambling... i have a 10month baby... :(((

michelletee profile image

michelletee 2 years ago from United States Author

This is such a hard addiction to quit.... but we can do it. Gambling hurts us in more ways than we realize. It really effects every area of our life like a domino effect. Dee... just take it each day. Your baby needs you, and the casinos (online or offline) do not care. They are just there to take our money.. slowly.. sometimes quickly, but surely.

videopokerloser 2 years ago

Good, quitter. As long as you can stay within reason like Kevin. I can't. I just recently moved after living in Las Vegas for 9 years, and gambling is so in your face every where you turn - even grocery stores, even pharmacy stores like CVS. Ridiculous. Dee, I feel for you! Such a hard loss with a baby to take care of. I hope and pray for all of us to stop. I'm back to square one after messing up last week. Michelle, thank you for comments. Casinos could care less about you and the damage they've done to people's lives. I used to work in a casino and rate it as the second worse job I ever had and I worked in the accounting dept. Our bosses, the people, just sucked. It's always and only about the money. Even when elderly people had heart attacks in the casino, and it happened at least once every month, they'd laugh about it. Usually it happened when they won a jackpot too. It's an all around sad environment.

michelletee profile image

michelletee 2 years ago from United States Author

The casinos are really a pathetic environment... smoke filled.. dark, dingy and depressing as anything.

I am really starting to despise everything the casinos stand for. It took a while, however, I really see the ugliness for what it is.

The lives destroyed are in the several hundreds of thousands throughout the world from gambling.

We need to save ourselves from this devastating vice and addiction. It hurts us in more ways than we know.

quitter 2 years ago

Sigh... So I just proved myself wrong when I thought I could win what I had lost bit by bit playing small stakes. To cut a long story short, I've just lost another £50 (money I had kept aside that the wife did not know about)...

So... today, 10th May 2014 I'm starting all over again and going cold turkey (again)... wish me luck!

dee 2 years ago

thank you michelle..

I dont know how to remove the LOOSING my head.. sorry if my grammar or english is bad.. I am always thinking about my lost in gambling, hoping that i will return it back and stop gambling.. but mostly when i play, i 80% win.. but sad to say i didnt stop.. and ending is NEGATIVE in my wallet.. I dont know how.. I hope i will not think about my lossing so that i cant play again...... I live in poor country philippines.. and luckily before i earned good amount, because of trading, but sad to say.. all my money, friends, savings are gone.. and now i dont know what to do.... this addiction really kills me.. everytime i lost, i am looking at my little son.. and always tears in my eyes.. I wish one day i wake up i dont like gambling anymore..

Benny50 2 years ago

You are not alone ..dee! It happens to everybody.. That's the excitement in gambling...taste of winnings!.. U think u gonna win again...u might but in the end...u lose it all !!!!!that happens to me so many times.....till I got broke financially!..almost got's my family(have kids..1in college n 1 in high school) n of course the higher power(god Jesus Christ ) that change me...there's no way out..I'm in god made me a strong person again. Now, slowly...recovering! advice to u..just stay in this forum...n also go to u-tube..theres g.a. Meetings that u can watch n listen to their helps my the way, I'm a plan is to retire in the Philippines ...n continue my crusade against gambling! There is g.a. Meetings going on Over there...just search for it...good luck to u...god bless!

dee 2 years ago

thank you benny, nice to know that your also a filipino..

just this 2 days ago i lost i think 50k php..

so really sad.. but thank you verymuch for the advice..

Benny50 2 years ago

I understand the feelings..dee!.. I know ...after that losses your mad to yourself...u hate yourself...why u don't stop while winings was on you...why u keep on playing n want to win more....n more!... That's our problem...we got that high feelings..when we are in the table or machine..whatever!...... U need to stop my friend...don't let gambling destroy your life....there's hope!

2 years ago

I can't help myself, it's a horrible addiction and I find myself shaking when I'm putting money on roulette I don't know if it's with the excitement of winning or what even though I always end up losing, I really need to kick this but I don't know where to turn

Benny50 2 years ago

My friend....P.....the first thing I do when I was really in trouble was to go to church....a quiet place...surrender myself to god! powerful my friend....will give u peace in life....have faith n u will be save from this illness!... Stay in this forum....your not alone.....there's hope my is good...god bless!

quitter 2 years ago

OMG!!! What is wrong with me!?! I just lost £5000!!! How on earth am I supposed to recoup that back!?! I feel so run down and sick to the stomach!

So now not only does my wife have control of my cards I have now banned myself from the casino. Hopefully that will now do the trick.

So now here is my new date... 16th May 2014 was my last day of gambling. It's been two days of no gambling so far... wish me luck... again!

quitter 2 years ago

Further to my last just to show how badly I've messed up and show the position I've put myself in....

Since January this year I lost £10000, then I took a loan out for £10000 to cover those losses... and then two days ago I lost the last of that too. Now I've just borrowed £7,500 from my mum and £2500 from the wife to pay off the the builders that are completing work on our house next week.

I know what I do is harming me and those close to me, but for some reason I still lose control. Well this is why I'm starting again and much to everyone else's annoyance I may have to post my progress on here as I am unable to go to any meetings. Hopefully it will help me stay on track... so this is where I now stop this madness... record how long I have stopped gambling for and record how much of the money I have paid back the ones that I love. I really am a quitter now. That's all for now... standby for updates!

Benny50 2 years ago

It happens my friend quitter! Just are the architect of your life....hope u learn...stop gambling my friend....just stay in this forum! ..have faith n have a healthy life without gambling..god bless!

Kevin 2 years ago

My favorite Indian casino sent me an e-mail offer for $10 free play. I went last Saturday and played it. I lost $3 of it and left with $7 of it. Almost every month they send me this $10 free play offer. I don't know why they do, as my meager bets don't justify it. Maybe it is based on hours of play instead of amount bet. Or maybe they just forgot to tell the computer that I am no longer a serious player and steady contributor to their profits. Or maybe they are giving me a small gift because I am 1/16 Indian (not from that tribe). Or maybe they are hoping that someday I will fall off the wagon and relapse into my old heavy betting habit. About a year ago another player (who I strongly suspect was a shill) saw me betting one cent and she gave me $5 under the condition that I play it max lines (30 on that machine). This happened about 5 times. I would play 30 lines until she moved on and then cash out the money. Every time but once I turned the $5 into $7-$25. Once I lost all $5. I have a strong suspicion that the casino was hoping that this would reignite my old desire to bet big (relatively speaking). It didn't work, and I ended up keeping their incentive money!

Benny50 2 years ago

We have life to's a matter of choice......I had a painfull experience in gambling....I got miserable it turns into hate!!!! I want to have a good life no worries...have peace in mind.....and that is GAMBLING FREE!'s your choice my friend...have a wonderfull day n god bless!

paul bryan 2 years ago

i want to die

michelletee profile image

michelletee 2 years ago from United States Author

Paul.... there are many places and people to talk to so you can get help for this addiction. We are here for you. What country are you from, and I can help give you resources. Right now your problems may seem insurmountable, however, it can get better for you. It does not have to always be this way. Please contact your nearest helpline, Samaratans, or Suicide Hotline in your area.. okay. Praying for your safety and peace.

hopefully1 2 years ago

Day 1. trying to get through day 1. After some reading here I see that it gets worse I mean the feelings I want to turn things around. Plz someone do it with me. Lets hold each other accountable. Tired of feeling helpless when im in charge of my actions.

Benny50 2 years ago

There's HOPE my friend...paul!.... It's not the end of the world for u...I understand the feelings that u have....u are not alone...... pls. Stay in this forum will find relief into strong my friend...keep the faith...god bless!

Benny50 2 years ago

Hopefully1.....just stay in this forum my friend....we're all in the same boat.....trying to stop this problem ! I'm glad it works for will works to depends on U my friend!!!! There is hope!!!

barabus 2 years ago

I never felt that buying someone's book and having them profit on my weakness was going to be the answer when I already had a monkey on my back called Woodbine racetrack. I knew the only way to do this was to stay away from the track slots period. I read many sad stories of folks who lost everything gambling and that did not sway me from continuing on with my gambling problem. I would reason to myself that because I was only blowing a hundred a couple times a month that I was not at the danger point of being out of control, however it soon became a couple visits a week and 2- 3 hundred a visit. I found myself dipping in to savings to prop up my checking account a thousand here and there so now I was on my way to financial ruin unless I applied the brakes. I finally came to the reality early in the game to quit while I was ahead and not in winnings but stopping before the track won all my savings. That's not to say I didn't enjoy going there but you know the machines became predictable , and the same old little wins with the odd couple grand win that was rare to be sure. So that was that , and I knew I couldn't go back even for one visit , otherwise I'd be right back at it. No one can get you to stop throwing your money away. Only you can make that desicion for yourself. For me , I mustered the willpower to stop the drain on my hard earned money and I don't claim it was easy but certainly preferable to being broke !

Anthony 2 years ago

I've gambled since I was 17. Won a lot then gradually lost it all. Stole, borrowed and sold belongings to fund this addiction. Parents can't deal with it, absolutely kills them but I don't seem to consider this when I'm putting another note in the machine. I stopped for a year after some hypnotherapy then some how started again. Won, lost it all and then stopped. Right now I seem to go a month or two then end up back in the bookies. I'm now really going to struggle financially as I'm not paid for 3 weeks. I can't tell my parents because it will destroy them. Last time I promised it wouldn't get like this again and I fucked up yet again.

Guess I just have to start again, I'm gonna see a counselor and hope that I can stay in control of my life. Got a good job in the city and future could be bright. I need to stop being so impatient.

Thanks for letting me rant.

quitter 2 years ago

It's now been two weeks since I last lost a lot of money in the casino... and I haven't gambled since.

I have earned an extra £1500 in overtime at work and paid back £500 of the £2500 I owe my wife. However I still owe the back £10000, and my mum £8,000. Slow going, but as long as I am heading in the right direction that is all that matters!

Kevin 2 years ago

I was planning on going to Six Flags today. I had to stop by the doctor's office for some lab tests that require fasting. I was planning on being in and out quickly and on my way. So much for plans. I got stuck there for a long time waiting for them to get the virtual paperwork e-mailed. When I got out it was too late in the day for a proper trip to Six Flags. So what do you suppose I did instead? A casino, of course! Not the one I frequent, but a different one. Since I only go to this casino once or twice a year, I felt compelled to play blackjack. Forty bucks shot to Hell very quickly! I had $9 in free play on my card. I gave $5 of it back and kept $4 of it. If only I had stuck to penny slots and skipped the blackjack! Spur of the moment gambling excursions are never a good idea. $36 plus about another $30 for gas down the drain.

stevex36x 2 years ago

done it again! 400 pound down the drain! is there any hope for this terrible illness i wonder!

Kate 2 years ago


You are not the only one that blew it again. Friday night my husband and myself went to a charity event which is very close to the downtown Buffalo casion. I had $80 on me and he won $600 with his $40 and I won $100. Do you think we went home???!!! No way we spent all of what we won plus went to the ATM twice for a total of $700 and then went home with nothing. My account is about $500 in the negative and I'm not sure what we are going to live on for the next 2 weeks. Everything was soing so good I thought we could do it but the addiction just not just dissappear

stevex36x 2 years ago

yeah its sad in it kate! have you not got a limit on your atm card as i got a £200 limit on mine! the problem was i had 200 on me already and was bored and thought i try a 50 on a roulette machine and then i chased it and lost everything i could get hold of! i would have lost more and been in more debt if i never had a limit on my atm money card! i just think theres something wrong with me as i can,t just try a certain about of money which i can afford and think its just fun and walk away!! so i can,t help chasing!! its like when i lose a bit something takes over me! just can,t understand whats wrong with me and why i am like this as i got mates who can just walk away but i can,t!

Kate 2 years ago

You know what Steve I do have a limit but it is $800. I try not to take it with me to the casinos and now I know why. I had the stupid card on me because we were going to an event and had not planned on the casion visit. I have to, and you also, come to terms with ourselves that this is a big addiction. I do not like going to the GA meetings and this is one of my problems. I think if I went regulary they may help. But I have my husband who says there is no problem and no reason why we can't go but just limit the money. My think is if I can get access to money with the ATM I will use all the money I can get my hands on

Kate 2 years ago

Sometimes I just hate me

Benny50 2 years ago

Just don't go in the casinos or any gambling establishments.....this places will put your life in trouble! I am a recovering compulsive gambler...what your saying...happens to me! Don't waste your money.....there's no winnings in gambling! .... Attend ga meetings or stay in this forum ....don't hurt yourself my friend.....there's hope!

Kate 2 years ago

Thanks Benny

It is so hard because it is enjoyable until I leave and beat myself up all the way home.

Benny50 2 years ago

You're welcome Kate !'s alright! By the way, I just got home....I went to the gym....take a shower then take my family to dine somewhere ...maybe ..sushi!!..... Enjoy life...gambling free!!!

J.B. Mc 2 years ago

I have worked in the casinoes in the MS Delta for 12 years. I have a beautiful fiancee and a 11 mo old daughter. I gamble every night. I can't stop. I am self excluding myself Wed. before work. I hate this feeling. I beat drugs. I beat alcohol. I can't beat gambling. I've lost all my money so many times that I cAn't count. Now my relationship is in jeopardy. She is the best girl in the world

Kate 2 years ago

Benny how long have you been gambling free? Did you have set backs when you were in the process of stopping?

Benny50 u.s. 2 years ago

Probably 6 months.... Kate!....the last 2 yrs. it's on n off...I gambled then stopped then I gambled again! came to a point that I need to son was going in college, my daughter in high school! On my part it's a matter of choice....the future for my kidz or keep on gambling!....slowly I realized my big mistake!...I'm buried in debts.....but it's my faith in god that keeps me strong to stop this illness.....there's hope. I attended g.a. Meetings....learned the 12 steps!... Keep on searching to learn more....I bought a book...escape from the grip of gambling,learn more through internet. I found this site.. Go to u tube...listen to ga friend u r the answer in your problem.....we are compulsive gambler...we don't have the power to control ourselves ...especially, when we are losing....we want our money back!...this gambling establishments knows that...! To stop this illness...depends on u my are not alone!

LN 2 years ago

New to the forum. I'm a gambling addict that's on again off again. I recently lost my job and started gambling heavily again with money I don't have. I'm in the hole again (for the I don't know millionth time) and have no idea how to come up with it. Story of my life.

I've read and heard the stories. I've tried GA. I've got many things in my life that could motivate me to stop, but for some reason, I don't. I don't know what else to do. I feel it's a self-control issue and I have absolutely no self-discipline or self-control.

Like you said Kate - I just hate me!

Kate 2 years ago

If you keep coming to this forum you will learn there are alot of us that can't stop and some like Benny who gives so much help and hope. Knowing there is someone who kicked this and is doing good shows everyone of us that we can to. You will learn so much. I did not know that we could go to online GA meetings, which I am going to right now. Keep the faith LN there are alot of people out there like us and they really do care about you. Myself included.

Frank W 2 years ago

Just back from a GA meeting that gives me a positive boost to keep surviving each day. I have been in the GA program 7 1/2 years and still go to 5 GA meetings a week because that is what I need to suppress the urge to gamble. Do whatever it takes each day with the help of your Higher Power.

dee 2 years ago

hate this addiction.... before i already posted here and say to stop, quit, start a new life etc.. and as always.. i still play..... I dont understand.. and i dont know how... i really want to quit with this addiction... and this lastweek... my 11month onld so admitted to hospital.. and in 3 days my hospital bill was almost $600 in 3 days.. and i dont have a job at the moment.,.. since i dont have a money, i decided to sell everything that i have, even its 50% less and NEW.. I sell my computer, and other stuffs so i got $1000 cash on hand.... and since my son still in hospital, i am afraid that our hospital bill will increase and i dont have things to sell.. guess what.... i made a stupid decicssion again.... i gambled my money hoping to win so that i can have extra money to pay the bills... and guess what happen.... i lost everything.... now the doctor said "your son now is fine and you can go home now after you pay the bills" at that point.... Now i dont know what to do.. my wife didnt know it.. and all was expecting that i have the money to pay, because they know that sold all my things... it was 3 am, and i am walking.. and it was raining.. and i dont know what to do.. i havent sleep yet that time.. i said to my self i want to die... if it not for my son, i wiish to die.................................

Benny50 2 years ago

So tough my friend...huh!!! This was a big ..big.. Lesson for u!.. Hope u learn this time!.... Hope u gonna get out of this mess as soon as possible....we pray for u....theres hope!

Stuart 2 years ago

My Brothers and sisters, I am a 43 year old man from Dublin, Ireland. I have been gambling for 26 years, I was 17 when I first backed a horse.I haven't the time or inclination to tell you all how many times I have literally been in the gutter or for that matter the terrible things I have done to those who are unfortunate enough to know and or love me, let me simply say I have done it all, taken every last drop of love from anyone I can con into caring for me, all because I am a compulsive gambler.To look at me you would never know, I dress smartly and keep a good appearance, thats the con, nobody suspects.I stopped gambling for 4 years from 2000 to 04 and I can honestly say these were my happiest years, in 2006 I was sacked from my job after 10 years because I was stealing from it to gamble with, I could open my sock drawer and have €10,000 enough for any man yet it wasnt enough, it never will be, I would lose it and win it back then lose it again.What I have learned and we need to understand it is never ever about money, I'm not sure if I even wanted to win, I just needed the rush, the betting shop was my place to hide, surrounded by my fellow gamblers, surrounded by troubled souls.From this day forward I promise myself and I promise you my brothers and sisters that I will try from day to day to desist from the evil and darkness that gambling brings to all of us, you show me a happy gambler and I will show you the devil himself, nobody can help us, nobody, you either look in the mirror right now and say enough or continue and get ready for the gutter, I know the hurt and pain we have caused, no more my friends, join me today, stop gamblng, not for anyone else, for you, I will right a blog here on the 2nd of every month, I love you all my troubled friends.

2 years ago

thank you for sharing. Today is 7/2/2014 and I pledge with all my heart that I will do my best to no longer gamble. Please keep me in your prayers

videopokerloser 2 years ago

I haven't gambled for a long time, but took $40 to the casino the other day and won $600. I put it all back in plus my $40 and walked out with nothing. You're right, Stuart. It's not the money, it's a mental illness we all have here on this message board and the only cure is to not gamble. Or, lose all of your money which I have. Over the years, I've pawned all of my jewelry, an expensive Bose system I had, silver, took all that money to the casino and lost every dime. What drives us to do this? I think it's a form of self punishment. We don't deserve to win, therefore we play til we lose it all.

Tukee21 2 years ago

I hear and feel all of your comments............trying to stay away from the casinos.............BJ is the culprit, this is a nasty addiction, have started therapy in the "Chasing Stage" before too much long-term damage ($40K in a year).............urges are strong to go back, this forum keeps me from wanting to go back.....thank you all!

RB 2 years ago

I lost 3000 tonight at BJ.While I am not broke I am losing enough of my money that it is affecting my lifestyle now,i keep breaking my rule of if I lose my buy in I will walk is 7/6/14 and god help me my last day gambling,I live in Vegas so this will be difficult.

Benny 50 USA 2 years ago

Welcome to this forum my friends...I understand the feelings....we're all in the same boat! I never gamble since I joined this forum....for me it's a commitment....we all struggle from this illness.....but if u help yourself ...u can stop it!!!'s about time to many times we tried to win....but we ended up losing..... It's a sickness my friend....we felt greatness when we're doing it....but when its are all gone..then we felt angry to ourselves .....feel the pains!......STOP the bleeding my friends.......starts a new life....stop gambling...there's hope! My prayers be with u all!

dee 2 years ago

from now on, ill post daily update about my self.. i will stop gambling...

missingseoul 2 years ago

Dee - I pray for you and your family. I know the situation you were in that helped you with that poor decision. I do it all the time. Each day you can and must make a new decision. You cannot beat yourself up - talk to a confidante or this forum. Stay strong my friend!!!

I have so many debts, ones that aren't that serious, but because my house is in foreclosure (not due to my gambling) but because of divorce) I have money to use towards gambling and I so I use that. I make a little money but then just like the rest of us, I put it all back in - in hopes to win BIG so that I can pay all my bills off and start new.

I am going through a divorce after a really bad 20 year marriage and it all started after I could no longer take the emotional abuse. My addiction started after I realized that my husband could not love me, my mother could not love me, no one could ever love me and I turned to gambling. And each year (now it has been 4 years) I tell myself this is the last year. NOW I must make that true.

I hope to stay in a support group to help me with it - because we all need help. We can keep telling ourselves that we are strong and that we can beat this really awful illness but the truth is that we can't - not without the help of others.

Prayers to you all! HUGS TO YOU ALL

stevex36x 2 years ago

i not gambled for 2 weeks and was going to bet a 100 pound double on germany and brazil in the world cup but i thought i need to stay strong and not bet so i never and they both won so i would have won about 550! now i am sick i never bet them and in my head i think i lost out by not betting them!! felt terrible all week! so just gos to show that even if you don,t bet you still think you lost! how can i beat this terrible addiction by this happening?

junebug 2 years ago

sickening feeling indeed, im in doubt that i will conquer not gambling. my addiction is mainly sports gambling. crazy thing is that as bad as i feel when all my action is gone, i continue to do the same dumb sh*t! i had one positive moment last week where i actually had $ in my acct but chose not to gamble.. it was a great feeling after i realized what i accomplished but the very next day it was right back to "having" to have action on a game... i've prayed and will continue to pray, i've tried GA twice but i want to beat this addiction on my own! I want to say that it is possible to overcome. I must say even just writing this post helps in the present but I'm afraid that once I get paid again, that I will go right back down the same path I've been going...?? I try to explain it to my family but it's really not something anyone I know understands. I don't want this life for anyone, and I will pray for all on this site.

God Bless,

Junebug Jr.

Benny50 USA 2 years ago

Enough is enough....stop the bleeding my friends.....stay in this's a big help!.... U can open it anytime......when urges comes...I just open it n read Our sharings of stories.....big help my friends!

missingseoul 2 years ago

Me too Junebug - I think I can beat this on my own but I can't. Looking at my bank statement, I know I can't. But today - I told myself - TODAY I will stop! And thank you Benny50 for your encouragement! God be with all of you because we need him!!

quitter 2 years ago

I have now not made a bet for 7 weeks and 3 days.

It's funny how after losing £20k in a couple of months and banning myself from the casino that I haven't really had the urge to gamble anymore.

I have just paid back my wife another £250 of the £2000 I owe her, but I still owe the bank £9800, and my mum £8000... so £19,550 still to go, but I am going to do it the right way!

Good luck everyone, beat this addiction with me!

Kevin 2 years ago

I am worried about Compcoll. It has been awhile since he has posted. I hope he didn't really commit suicide this time.

Benny50 USA 2 years ago

I'm happy for u my friend quitter!.....I'm just like u paying back our debts.... Actually, I have 4 more yrs. to payoff my debts....I've been buried! But it's ok.....slowly my life is getting back to normal....not much urges to gamble....when it comes...I was able to stop it.....I'm happy ..I'm sure u too!... Hope each n everyone will do the same......stop gambling!

missingseoul 2 years ago

I still have the bug to gamble - thinking that I will win even though I am broke now. I feel hopeless like I will never beat this. Reading your posts today has encouraged me! I will keep trying. Thank you!!!

Kate 2 years ago

I read something the other day which kind of struck home with me. "If you stop betting you don't have to worry about losing." I took out a loan for $9000, to be used for my husband's dental bill which is $5000. That was last week and I only have 6k left because I gambled it away.

keepsmiling 2 years ago

For more years than i can count i have gambled but over the last few weeks i am about to lose everything home ,self respect and above all my wife i have stayed off gambling for 9 months swearing to my other half i would not bet again but sadly i have fallen that sorrowful fall and had a mad 2 hours were i done £400 and now i feel my whole world is been torn apart and i'm about to lose the most precious person in my life,I have tried to explain why but it falls on deaf ears any ideas of how you cope as i always knew there may be hick ups.

Kate 2 years ago

I keep coming to this forum and it has been great but I think I need GA meetings because I still gamble and it seems I'm gambling more than ever. Please all my friends keep me in your prayers as I lost $1500 Friday night. I lied to my husband and said I was going to the gym at 9am but went to the casino spent all my winnings till they were gone and did not get back until 3am

Benny50 USA 2 years ago

Sad to hear that ...Kate! U can call GA for help...they will direct u to the nearest GA meetings. From there u will meet people that hates gambling! U will learn more why u need to stop!.... Theres hope my friend..!

Kate 2 years ago

Thanks Benny. You have been a big help for me many times. I checked and there is a meeting near me tonight at 7:30. My husband gets mad and says I don't need it because it did not work before. But it is worse now and causing real problems in the marriage. I will go tonight with tail between my legs and hope they can help me as I am now open to listening and knowing they are right.

Benny50 USA 2 years ago

You r welcome Kate ! Thanks in this forum....we are family here...,.enjoy a gambling free life!!!

michelletee 2 years ago

Please please please can you delete my post from 8 days ago ?. It has been causing me huge problems since i got drunk and told who i thought was a friend about my post. Now i am just getting phone call all the time which is just making me feel worse than before and i feel really sick. Please please delete my post. Steve88

michelletee profile image

michelletee 2 years ago from United States Author

I did already... all deleted

Bryan Castro 2 years ago

Well this is my story. I just get paid out from my attorney $10.000 from a car accident that I had on 2013. But I meet the casino a few months ago and guess what I LOST everything I'm 21 years old I waned to kill my self but thank god my family help me on that. One more think the filing is coming back but stronger I feel like if somebody is pushing me back to the game. this is horrible ....

2 years ago

I can't stop gambling once I start ... it is all with slot machines. I play until every penny is gone and have no other access before I get up and leave. Even if I "win" anything, I just play it back ... I can't seem stop the desire to go out to the casinos, and that's the oddest thing for me. Once I do go and have the miserable drive home I say "this is it, cutting losses, moving on." Two days at times three go by -- and I'm right back at it as though I have total amnesia as to what I just said days ago. It repeats, it gets worse ... I can't afford to spend the kind of cash that I do -- but logic and reasoning doesn't work to fight the urges to go. It doesn't matter if I am "celebrating" something or "mourning" something, every little thing becomes another excuse to go out there. And tonight I was playing around with the words "I need to want this..." but in reality, I don't know if I want to stop-- and my actions prove this every couple days. How can I force myself to want something? How can I make myself honest if I am dishonest even saying the words, "I am stopping gambling today."

I am so painfully tired from this all and I think I am mostly fearful that I don't know what to do, or who I even am in all this.

Johnny Torres profile image

Johnny Torres 2 years ago

I feel some of these stories because I also have lost my credit my wife and the trust of my parents, siblings and friends. It will take years until I can clear up my debts and rebuild my credit. I want to stop but its so difficult. Going to try step 1 of this article promising myself at the start of each day that I will not gamble a single dollar for the day and see where it goes from there.

Benny50 USA 2 years ago

Welcome to this forum Johnny ! We're in the same works on works to with U!.....put yourself back in the right path.....there hope my day at a time... God bless!

Kate 2 years ago

Well I finally did it! Spent all day yesterday at the casino, I had won but I knew I wasn't going home with it, because thats the way I am. Lied to my husband AGAIN! My real look at myself was when someone left a $250 ticket in the machine. And what I did was so not what I would have done before gambling. I took that ticket and left the casino before anyone could find out, cameras. Could not stop thinking about it. I have become not only a gambler but a thief. Man do I hate myself. Went to a GA meeting last night, did not share what I had done, but I did walk out of there with a new lidea that I can and need to stop and change. I am going to as many meeting as I can and mybe I can get my like m my fieds and my family back again. My higher power I know will help me. GA seems to be the only wasy to go. Please all pray for me as I will pray and all of us

Kevin 2 years ago

Kate, do you mean you cashed out the ticket and left with the money, or you left with the ticket? If you left with the ticket, they probably have voided it by now and credited it to the legitimate winner. Either way, you now have a powerful incentive to never set foot in there again, because you would likely be arrested on sight.

Kate 2 years ago

I had a ticket for $90 and just put it in the machine and when I went to take my ticket out is when I noticed it was for $250 more. I did cash out on the ticket and then left. My husband knows how bad I feel and has suggested we go back with the money and turn it in. I do not like me now and this feeling I have is going to keep me out of any casino, I pray, because I am not same person I have allways been. Which is honest. I feel really ugly inside.

Kate 2 years ago

I returned the money so I feel some what better. But I idea I could do that still bothers me

RB 2 years ago

Three week mark since I posted after losing 3k....still going strong,I will not Gamble.

THEGREEK 2 years ago

To all you problem gamblers and compulsive gamblers..

I will tell you the pain im going through every fucken day of my life...

As a gambler I find it so easy to tell another gambler to stop, why thy wasting and throwing their money away like this...

I finally figured it out why the hell its so easy for me to tell you or them that, its because I want to take over your place and see if I have better luck in your machine.....

Im 46 years of age , I started to enjoy gambling at the age of 7, watching all my family on Christmas day play poker for 24 hours straight, my parents thought it was ok because I was home watching them, people wake uppppp dam it, its not ok for a child to watch anyone play any kind of gambling game, it sticks to us at a young age, we want the money we see on that table of poker.....

Anyway, its about 20 years now I haven't had a good sleep, my average hours of sleep at night is 1 fucken hour without getting up yes 1 hour , I wake up every fucken hour that has to be my mind going through gambling withdrawl, I have spent easlly over 1 000 000 . in casinos and lottery machines, besides losing in on line betting, and stock market..

I today alone spent 1500$ yesterday 3000$, and that's only 2 days. I play every day , no im far from having all the money I need, but I get money from bars who lend me unlimited amounts, loan sharks who cant wait till I go see them again, I went to gamblers annonimus and yes it worked I stoped 1 year with not even playing or betting 1$, the moment I got my 1 year coin , I went and broke my face, dumping thousands in one night, I said to myself just a 20$ bill and ill be ok, no way, I put thousands...

My attitude has changed again, not giving a crap about anything or anyone, im back to being the piece of shit I was again... Today im writing this for me to realize I need to fucken stop, u need to fucken stop...

I have lost the person that meant to me the most, cause of this fucken illness, ..

All of you out there who do gamble and think you have control, WAKE THE FUCK UP, There is no control if you gamble, we cannot stop ourselves , we need help... I can go on forever with my experiences and pain I inflicted on everyone who loves me, but all of you know that already, GET HELP FAST.. I WILL GET HELP AGAIN, I NEED HELP..

We should all get tighter and fight for the removal of lottery machines in bars, restaurents, or anywhere fucken public.. I live in Montreal, The gov knows that theses machines are running everyone out there!!!!!! Yes eventually these machines will take control of all your lives even the people who don't yet gamble,,, you play once you win guess what YOU ARE FUCKED NOWWWWWWW.....

Im just letting out te anger I have in me today, if I go back and think all the bad I done because of gambling and write to you about it, ill be here forever,, as for now I wish and I wil pray for you and myself for the Lord to help us break free from this illness...

Taking your life for this illness is they way out if your a coward. face your fuken illness, get help, don't put misery of your selfish behavior,, there are people you will leave behind and crying over you because they will blame themselves that they couldn't help you... Its not them its us ourselves that can help us only, that's because we want to help ourselves and do it for us only not anyone else.

Please think twice before you put that dollar , the pain we will cause to our famillys and friends....

Today will be the fucken last day I GAMBLE, TODAY WILL BE THE LAST DAY YOU GAMBLE....

THEGREEK 2 years ago


alot calmer then here I go again...

On November 09 2010 I finally told the person I loved that I had a serious problem, im a compulsive gambler, even though she seen me a couple of times gambling but never thought I was in so deep..

She called Gamblers Anonymous on November 10 2010 without me knowing, called me that same day and said you need help, your going to get help and they start at 7:30pm tonight so you are going if you really want us to work.. so I went..

ill explain to you just a bit what it felt like walking in GA that night,

I walked in stayed in the staircase thinking what I should do, a member seen me said if your looking for GA you are in the right place just don't be shy and follow me....

So here I am in this room full of gamblers, I sit down and I se everyone of them laughing and joking, here I am ready to just tell everyone to f off and just walk out. it I impossible that they are in a good mood while here I am just about to loose my freaken mind of the pain I have built in me for so many years...

they welcomed me with open arms told me to listen to their stories and if I feel like sharing mine to do so... well I said to myself these people are all sick and when this is finished im never coming back.. hey guess what the next day I went back to hear more of their stories because the night before they were saying stories that I have lived and needed to listen to more of them.. well again their stories with different members were the same as mine, how is that possible that they laugh and joke about it today and im still a bloody mess. well I went back the 3rd day and been there from November 10 2010 to November 10 2012 every day..

it took me 2 weeks to open up to these strangers just to realize they were there to help me and me help them when I shared my stories..

As days went on I found myself getting more emotional and crying like a baby in front of people I really didn't know so well. as I spoke and shared my stories I felt a lot better as days turned to weeks all of a sudden I started to get angry a myself for the pain I caused myself and others in my life.. I had no idea what was happening to me, why am I feeling this way, why are they feelng happy and me angry.. well ill tell you why, this fucken mask I had on was coming off slowly, the cloud in my head was clearing up, I started to finally feel like a normal person and all the memories of bad I done in the past was poping up in my head, wow the pain I felt the anger I felt the saddnes I felt it was to much for me to handle, and all the members seen this happen to me and took me aside after the meeting and said this is a normal reaction.. I was scared of who I have become when I was gambling ,, lets just say satan was nothing close to what I had become. I went every day and I felt and theve seen a big change in my attitude.. ALL YOU OUT THERE GET HELP FROM GA IT WORKS IF YOU WANT IT TO...

start loving yourself go to the meetings, I will again tomorrow and will keep going, because it does work.. one year I went everyday never gambled, went out afthe my one year coin gambled and never went back....

stevex36x 2 years ago

its so true what the greek said about thinking we are in control! we fool ourselfs by thinking we are! all last week i won a 50 there 60 there and must have won about 300 in one week and then bang yestreday i lost 800! it makes me think i,am daft as i do know people who can have a little bet and walk away! but i guess its like some people can have a few drinks in a pub and walk away were some can,t!! gambling addiction is so evil though!

Kate 2 years ago

I need an answer to a question. I went to a GA meeting a few days ago and said okay this is it. My husband knew but he does not think I have a problem. Now "As a Surprise" he was schedueled a trip to Reno, NV in October. Air, room and car all ready paid for. Do I keep going to GA and share this with them or just sit there like a liar. I can't tell my husband no as all is paid for and I know me I will go there and gamble with all those casinos right there? It's like I am not suppose to stop.

videopokerloser 2 years ago

I was doing well for the longest time too, The Greek, then was near the casino on a day I knew I had free slot play. I hadn't been to the casino for a while, but they still give me slot play in my email. I went and won money on their dime, then went back the next day taking some money I just received from a job I did, won then continued to lose it all including the money I brought. Doesn't matter whether I win or lose...I won't walk out with a penny. I spend it til it's gone. I'm not going back. Kate, you need to tell your husband you have a bigger problem than he thinks. Don't worry about what to tell your GA group. Your husband feeds and/or enables your gambling compulsions. It's hard enough to beat this without having someone close by with what sounds like a similar problem.

THEGREEK 2 years ago

To Kate

Explain to your husband that you have a serious problem and for him to support you in your difficult Times. I today feel very hurt on what I did to myself. I work like an animal just to go out and dump everything I made in just one day... Free yourself from this illness, open up to your close friends and familly, they will help a lot, and for the trip Kate do not walk in those fucken casinos or anywhere There are machines. I will be post my feelings here later on today since I'm at work now I can't write down what I have to.. Kate be strong live life don't let Satan lewd you back to the machines , you play again you just made him win, believe in GOD , or your higher power , if you have the feeling to gamble say to yourself if you do the devil has acomplosed his task....

videopokerloser 2 years ago

I've hurt my family children, the ones who in spite of my shame and sins and selfish behavior still love me back and give me the support I need. Regardless of whether I won or not, when I walked out of a casino I felt like a monster, and when I lost the money I'd brought with me last week to gamble after not being there after a long time, I felt I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown then managed to pull myself together after I left. It happened so suddenly when my insides started shaking and I got scared. It felt like I was going crazy with the noises of the casino screaming inside my head. It wasn't that much money...wasn't the amount at all. It was the reality of once again seeing who I could become - a thing, a monster. That the Devil once again had won. I prayed long and hard to God and his angels last night to help me beat this. I've let him down too. I truly never want to feel this way again. I want Peace.

THEGREEK 2 years ago

To you video poker

I'm learning every day something new and the first thing is we are not losers we are extremely smart people with a very bad illness. Stay away my friend for God to help you you need to show God that you are willing to fight for yourself to get better, God then and then only Will help you or myself....

I m fighting myself today not to go out and gamble it's not fucken easy , but yes it's possible, we are Gods children not the devils, we cause so much pain to everyone who loves us why because we just have not been shown the right path to full rexouvery.

Now let's take it upon ourselfs and be the person we know we are and fight like he'll this illness for the devil not to win and God to look at us with a smile and prove him we are able to beat Satan's chalange...

I m writing this and getting all teary from the pai I know your going through,

May GOD blesss you and heal your pain my friend...

THEGREEK 2 years ago

I suggest you listen to the broadcast of Joyce Myers ministry or listen to Antonio sabato Jr . It will help all of you so Much...

THGREEK 2 years ago

well I'm back again , today was very hard from me not to go out and gamble but I did it , this is the time ibwill recover, ibwill win this illness once and for all..

I would love to hear other people's stories so I can feel your pain and it will help me not to gamble ever again..

stevex36x 2 years ago

i,am thinking of taking getting out of this evil santnic world as the only plesure i get is from gambling and i stick on the news and all i hear is wars ect and little childen been killed so it depressed me more! do anyone know for sure if theres a heaven and thats were i want to go. please sure your views before i leave this world. thanks

Kevin 2 years ago

Yes there is a Heaven. There is also a Hell, and it is a lot hotter than Las Vegas in the summer! If you die unrepentant of your sins (and if you commit the great sin of murder (suicide counts as murder) then that is a very good indication that you are not repentant of your sins) then you will burn in Hell for eternity.

Kate 2 years ago

I have heard that if two or more people pray together sincerely that your request will be granted. We should all pick a time good for all and take five minutes and pray as one for each other. Any one interested please respond and as a unit we can set up a specific time. I know I need something to make me strong and help me with this illness.

stevex36x 2 years ago

thankyou kevin for getting back! but i always be brought up to belive jesus christ died on the cross for my sins! we are all born sinners kevin from the time adam sinned! all i want now is to be with jesus. god bless you all.

videopokerloser 2 years ago

Yes, but stevex36x, you have to wait until Jesus brings you to him. It's not your call to go before He says you can. You are here for a reason...there's some mission for you here on earth to fulfill which you haven't done yet. Maybe it is to beat your demons...I don't know. That's for all of us to find out. I think most if not all of us on this message board have felt suicidal at times, but you cannot act on them. It goes against God's rules like Kevin said earlier. Kate, I think that's a wonderful idea, albeit difficult because people here are all over the world in different time zones, but I'm willing to do it if we can figure out how. Anyone have any ideas?

Kevin 2 years ago

Go to church and after the service stay and talk to the pastor. Ask him (or possibly her in a few churches) to explain how to be saved.

videopokerloser 2 years ago

I don't know where my message to The Greek went from earlier today, so I'll rewrite it. Yes, we are all intelligent people here but share an addiction. I have other addictions as well such as smoking, and I must have at least 100 bottles of nail polish - lol - another compulsion of mine! But our addictive qualities also make us successful in other areas of life. I am a classical pianist and can practice for hours on end. It's just finding out how to turn that addictive nature around to something good and meaningful instead of destructive to our lives and finances. I'm going to keep trying. May God Bless You Too, The Greek!

stevex36x 2 years ago

you get saved by asking lord jesus christ to come into your heart and ask him to take over your life but you must truely belive in it! its not about going to church ect! its on 100% belief that jesus is lord and died for our sins!

Kevin 2 years ago

If you kill yourself that is a very good indication that you probably haven't "asked him to take over your life".

THEGREEK 2 years ago

well we all talk about hw bad this illness is, we all know crossing the invisible line is destructive..

what I find so hard now is having people trust you and believ what I say..

how can people believe in us or trust us when we are the biggest manipulaters that exist. It takes years and sometimes the trust will never be there for us because how many times we promised we wont go out and gamble and that same fucken night we do.

and yes, ask GOD to take control of your life, let GOD lead you to the right path.

Just don't ask him only for help, ask GOD what can you do for him today also, GOD also needs us to ask him how his day went, what can we do for him, how can we try and make his world better...

I only use to ask GOD to fix my problems, I prayed to GOD only when I needed him, and believe it or not he aanswered every thing I asked him...

Now ill pray to him every night and not be a selfish pig only to pray when I need his help or blessing..

Hand over your life to the LORD see what he will do for you, believe me he gives us small indications every day but we tend not to take them..

open up your mind, look and be aware of your surondigs, us gamblers seem never to look anywhere but straight,.

when your driving home from work or from whatever your doing look around you will see things you never seen before because we are so mind fucked we become blind...

THEGREK 2 years ago

hey steve

you can not choose weather or not to see the lord, you cant take your life and expect the lord to welcome you in his world of paradise (heaven)

Only the lord has the choice to take us when we deserve to be with him..

I to put a gun to my head and ready to pull the trigger, just then I realized the pain id cause all my family who loves me,.

This is not the way to do things, we have to fight and keep fighting in order for us to be OK.

I pray for all of us o get better, May GOD keep all of us safe...

stevex36x 2 years ago

hi thegrek. can you please explain what experinces you had with how the lord as helped you? have you met jesus or spoke to you? you saw angels? please explain how you been helped as i hope oneday my life will become stress free and have a easy life like you and gamble free.

THEGREEK 2 years ago

I will answer the best I can steve, I must say the gambling part of my life I really cant recall anything the the lord helped me in, and the reason why is because I didn't do anything for myself to stop gambling, so why should he help me for if I didn't try and help myself..

but I did end up going to gambler anonomus and for that exact 365 days I didn't gamble till I got my one year celabration coin, then the devil won and I went and I gambed...

I prayed for many things that I needed the lord to help me in and this is the truth, he helped me, answered my prayer the very first minute I asked for his help...

did I meet JESUS , you may all think im crazy, but yes he did come to me, and ill leave it at that, no I didn't take my ife and then he visited me, he just did....

steve this is a serious illness my friend, I have just stoped again,it is not easy, propably the hardest thing in our life is to stop this illness..

I have spent tremendous amount of money gambling all these years.

I have a compulsive behavior, I do everything to the maximum, I smoke as much as I can, I drink and spend money and not only my money like I have unlimited funds, I just do everything to the extreme.

Steve listen to joyce myers on youtube or go to her home page, look at her broadcast, and choose what you want to listen to... she has helped me in so many ways, in the beginning I listened to her then got bored but now I listen to her evn while I go to bed, I put her on and I close my eyes even when you sleep listen to her , your subconscious mind will register everything she says...

Steve be strong, be wise, be humble, you will conquer these demons, I still haven't but im trying very hard..

I will send you the most amazing prayer towards you tonight before I sleep.... MAY GOD WATCH OVER YOU MY FRIEND, MAY HE SHOW YOU THE WAY IF YOU LET HIM..

Gambler007 2 years ago

Please take a look at my new blog post, it explains my situation, how i lost everything, my car, my house, my parents, my girlfriend, everything.

stevex36x 2 years ago

wow the the grek! thats how exacly how i am like were i do everything to the extreme! like last night a drunk till i passed out and before that i had a big chinese then packet of chips and choclate bars until i was sick and all this to take my mind off gambling! so its one extreme to the other! from my reseach i found out that the brain got a reward tigger and things like smoking, alcohol, drugs and of course gambling reward this trigger so it makes you feel good!! i just hate myself and don,t want to be me! and i even go on this site called plenty of fish and put up fake pics of a smart guy and say i,am a docter just to try and forget who i am and loads of women speak to me!! of course it makes me feel worst after and destroys my confindence but thats what this evil illness have done to me! so what did jesus say to you? do he look like he do in the pictures of him with long hair ect!! wish i could meet him. god bless you all

Stuart 2 years ago

Hi to all my friends, brothers and sisters. I promised I would keep an account of my life and put it down on the 2nd of every month, I'm a day late so apologies. I am a month free of the darkness that has consumed my life for the past 26 years.I am and always will be a compulsive gambler, I have spoken before of the depths I have stooped to in order to facilitate my addiction to this scurge.I am free, please if you do nothing else read that again"I am free"I have walked out of the darkest forest into light and I will never go back, ever, I want to shout from the roof tops, I will never go back, I am here, I am waiting for anyone to join me, to walk with me, my brothers and sisters I am a weak man, so if I tell you that I , me, Stuart,escaped from certain destruction then I promise with my heart you can to, I will never return, when I think about my future I see hope where once there was none, I feel open to the world and the goodness that was hidden deep inside me is starting to emerge, I am here waiting for you, a day, week, month, however long it takes, head out of the darkness, I mean that as a metaphor not in a religious way, start today, it's living out here, it's death in there, I love you all, Stuart.

Kevin 2 years ago

Like The Greek, I too watched my parents play poker when I was very young. They played with other adults for money. Sometimes they played with me for fun with pretend money. For awhile my dad was working in Battle Mountain Nevada, and I watched them play slot machines many times. The California Lottery started when I was 16, and since I have always looked older then I am, I was able to buy lottery tickets underage easily; only one time did I get carded. My parents were ok with this. They figured that as long as I didn't use drugs or engage in underage drinking, smoking, or sex, that gambling was a relatively safe outlet for the rebellious spirit that is in every teenager. This set the stage for a lifelong gambling addiction. When the Indian casinos opened in my area in 1996, I became a regular slot machine, blackjack, and Texas Hold-em player. I never lost thousands in one day like some of you have, but I often lost over a hundred. I have never earned a high wage, so relative to my income that was serious money that could have been better spent on other things or saved. In late 2010 I got laid off. I quickly found another job, but at an even lower pay rate, and stuck with a monthly $360+ COBRA health insurance premium for over a year. Needless to say, I had to make drastic spending cuts in every area, and the biggest thing to be cut had to be gambling. I did not want to stop gambling, but I absolutely had no choice but to quit losing a few hundred per month. Then I remembered: you don't have to bet 25-50 cents per spin and play all the lines. On many penny machines, you can bet just one penny at a time. That's what I started doing. For almost 4 years now I play one penny at a time, and have almost quit playing blackjack and poker. In one way I suppose this makes me a reformed compulsive gambler, but in another way I am still very much addicted. I go to the Indian casino once or twice a week. My brain is still obsessed with gambling. I spend lots of time thinking about gambling, reading about gambling, and talking about gambling. At least it costs me very little now.

quitter 2 years ago

I have a similar background in that i learnt how to gamble at a very early age from my parents. However, after becoming addicted like I have and losing tens of thousands of pounds I vowed I would never expose my kids to it the way I was.

Anyway as a quick update. It's now been 10 weeks since I last gambled, losing £20,000 in the space of about a month. And I've just paid my wife back another £250 of the £1,750 I owe her. Still got £8,000 to pay back to my mum, and £9,600 to the bank.

I am by no means showing off that I have quit. But if I can do it, then so can you... and there is no quick fix. I'm just having to pay people back bit by bit.

videopokerloser 2 years ago

Weird how poker seems to be the catapult for gambling when old enough. It wasn't my parents but their friends that would parents were too religious and didn't approve of it, but that didn't prevent me from seeing/watching it with their daughter who was my friend when younger. Hmm, interesting.

Anon 2 years ago

I went 3 months without gambling and then won £1,200 last Friday night on Roulette. This is a strange situation for me because I still have all £1,200 and I haven't bet a penny since. (5 days) The problem is the urge to go to the casino is massive. All I have thought about the past 5 days is going back to the casino and it's a miracle that I haven't gone back. In my 7 years of on and off gambling I KNOW that going back is a bad idea and that I should quit on a high. But part of me feels like I need to lose some money. This really is a strange, bad addiction

viodeopokerloser 2 years ago

Anon, go shopping or spend that money on something you've wanted. You KNOW you'll lose it. Don't go back. Don't let the House win again.

stevex36x 2 years ago

has anyone whos been a bad compusive gambler like me still gamble but is in control? like say it was payday and you had 400 and to just try 50 and then forget about it and treat it as entertainment! i been trying to do this for years but can,t as i always chase until i got nothing. so have anyone got any tips how to stay in control as my life seems so boring without gambling!

Kate 2 years ago

I know, for myself, I cannot do this. Have tried and just find a dig a deeper hole for myself. My husband wants to go play blackjack tonight and I have spent all the money and do not have the $100 to give him. I do have credit at the casino but if I use it it will put me in the hole in my checking account and all my checks will bounce costing me $37 for each bounced check. I hate gambling

quitter 2 years ago

Stevex36x, simple answer is no. I was clean for ages maybe about 5 or 6 years. I started gambling a little and once or twice I won a small amount and managed to leave. But that just left me wanting more, and also because it gave mena false sense of security. Soon enough I was gambling more often and losing big more often, and I was back to my bad habits... until 3 months ago when I lost £20,000 in the space of a month. I've been clean for about 3 months now and sworn I'm not going to bet again (again). Not even £5!

Kevin 2 years ago

I have successfully gotten my gambling under control without quitting cold turkey, as I mentioned in my last post. That doesn't mean that everyone can. I was never in as deep as many of you. I once heard of a program that attempts to turn alcoholics into normal moderate drinkers without having to become teetotalers. The success rate was low, but a few did succeed.

If done properly, slot machines can be a very cheap form of entertainment. I learned to start thinking of them as just another form of amusement machine instead of as a way to hopefully obtain free money. It wasn't hard for me since I am a lifelong avid player of arcade games. My money lasts a lot longer playing slots one line one penny than it lasts at an arcade, where many games are now $1 per game for 2-4 minutes! People sometimes ask me "how does it feel to see a winning combination come up on a line you didn't play"? I respond that if I had been betting all the lines I would have already run out of money and wouldn't have played this spin at all, so I still wouldn't have won. If you can learn to view slot machines the way I do, and also drop the "money burns a hole in my pocket, if I have money I gotta run and spend it" attitude, then you can become a recreational gambler. I will never be free of this addiction, but my addiction is no longer a financial problem since I learned to feed it cheaply.

Kate 2 years ago

I think I am finally at the point where I hate the casiono. My husband really wanted to go last night and I was afraid to tell him I had no money because I had gone earlier in the week and lost all. So we went and I borrowed $200 from the casino and now when there check hits the bank I will be in the negative the 200 plus a 37 dollar overdraft charge. I almost cried on the way to the casino. I feel in my gut that God may be working with helping me. So I cannot cry but just keep saying Praise GHod for my losses and if he keeps helping me and I continue to have this hatefred for the casino I might be helped

stevex36x 2 years ago

kate, i think you both need to sit down and tell your husband you got a problem with this satanic illness. i know your husband thinks its ok and your not addicted ect, but without sounding nasty i think hes need to wake up! my girlfriend hates gambling and god knows were i would be (or both be) right now if she was addicted too. there is loads of phases i reseached about this illness and when i get really strong urges i think to myself " that everytime we gamble we are on a losing streak and if i do win that day or week or month i,am just delaying it for a amount of time. i could never get the money back i lost unless i won the lottery but i got no chance of that as i don,t even do it. god bless us all.

Benny50 2 years ago

Hello every one...just wanna let u know....that I never missed going on this every single day!.. Hope everybody is doing good...stop gambling!!!!!!

videopokerloser 2 years ago

I log in too every day, Benny, not always commenting. Wow, Kate. You know you have a problem but the temptation is your hubby. That's tough. Gambling makes us do all kinds of sneaky things to cover up this sickness. We always hurt the ones we love most! Steve, I'm with ya. I'm single and never want to meet anyone in a casino. I'm glad your gf hates gambling because she at least balances you out. My ex bf is who taught me how to gamble in the course of going with him all the time when I lived in Las Vegas. I never want to go down that path again! My ex bf lost his $800,000+ house after we broke up due to his gambling...the Jag-all of it. And here I sit knowing all of this and still want to gamble! I've never gone into debt doing it, just hocking things I no longer have. I've lost possessions but don't have any credit cards to max out. I got rid of those a long time ago knowing what I'd do.

El Sombati 2 years ago

Had this compulsion for many years, been clean for a little over 2 mo, is weakly struggle my sick compulsive gambler friends, had major urges to go and gamble yesterday, and today, but after reading this blog, the urges have dissipated, and I will not gamble today, god bless all of you reading, stay strong and do not gamble just for today.

Kevin 2 years ago

Speaking of credit cards, credit card companies don't care about our financial well being anymore than casinos. A few years ago one of my credit cards, which has a $6000 limit and at the time I had an outstanding balance of less than $100, sent me a letter saying "Do you realize that you have a line of credit of over $5900 available for you to use? Why not use it for a Caribbean cruise, a new kitchen, or something else you've always wanted". In other words "why not buy some crap you don't need with money you don't have and pay us a lot of interest"? No, I did not go on an irresponsible spending spree. Every business establishment of any kind exists to separate us from our money, or as the investor relations part of many companies' websites more eloquently put it, "[XYZ Corporation] exists to maximize shareholder equity" (at our expense). Casinos and lenders are two of the worst, but the rest of the business world aren't so innocent either. We have to learn to be responsible with our own money.

El Sombati 2 years ago

Greetings to all of you, my sick compulsive gambler friends, ' am happy to inform you that ' did not go to casino and gamble, thanks to all of your comments, ' re-wind the tape and made the decision of not hurting myself anymore, at least mot today,,,,it's been over 9 weeks and counting without placing a bet of any kind,,,, stay gamble free one day at a time, till next time, peace be with all of you.

Sunny 2 years ago

I need help I am sick and tired if gambling my life sucks I do not deserve to live, gambling has screwed my life.

Benny50...USA 2 years ago

I was once in the same situation that u have sunny! As if it's liked the end of the world for me...I'm hopeless,broke,feeling alone,buried in debts,lost all my money in gambling!.. No more friends trust me...even my own family.........YOU R NOT ALONE my friend.......there many of us that are suffering from this illness....there's HOPE my friend....! We pray for U!

Colin 2 years ago

I am a compulsive gambler . On brink of losing the thingas that matter in my life . I post this to stop myself playin roulette in the bookies. From his day on.

Kevin 2 years ago

I have been in Las Vegas since last Wednesday bight and am leaving tomorrow morning. As of right now I have lost a total of $125. Only one day of serious gambling so far, Saturday, when I lost $65 playing blackjack very quickly. I spent all day Thursday visiting a friend who lives here that I met on an arcade game website. We went to Chuck E.Cheese to play arcade games. Friday and Sunday I went to the Pinball Hall of Fame and Gamer's paradise next door. Spending so much time in Las Vegas while not gambling would have been impossible for me a few years ago. I have been playing lots of penny machines one penny per spin. One man asked me "what do you hope to accomplish betting one penny"? I replied that I hope to play for a long time and spend very little money. I should have added "and not lose $15 in 5 minutes like you just did". On a prior trip I once watched a woman feed 4 $100 bills into a slot machine and lose it in about 20 minutes, as I lost one dollar playing the machine next to her. She was feeding it a fifth c-note as I walked away. I have learned to think of betting more than the minimum as being the same as going into a store and saying "I think that item is too cheap. I insist on paying 40 times the posted price". I am going to risk another $40 or so on blackjack tonight. This October I will go to a county fair in another county and go to the Indian casino there and risk $20 on blackjack there (or $40 if I get tempted too much). I might go to another Indian casino in November or December and risk up to $40. Other than that, no more serious gambling for the rest of the year. Just weekly visits to my favorite Indian casino for 1 cent slots and a daily loss limit of $9 (9 is symbolically important because it is a single digit number), and usually much less than that.

kayla 2 years ago

I'm a gambler I have gambled part of my 401k...I need help to stop. It's so depressing walking out of the casino broke. I do go for awhile then want to go back. I will need to ban myself again is getting out of hand.

quitter 2 years ago

Oh poo... After such a good run I just slipped and lost £850 at a different casino to the one I banned myself at. I don't know why I did it, why I started in the first place and why I didn't stop when I was up £100. I said "one more bet"... but as we all know that is never the case. The only saving grace is that I managed not to lose EVERYTHING and left with £150 in my pocket to pay for the weekend outing with the kids... what the hell am I doing?!?

I shall add that £850 loss to what I owe the bank as a record of what I need to recoup in earnings. So that's £1500 I still owe my wife, £8000 to my mum and £10,450 to the bank. That is just what I have lost in the first couple of months of this year and not what I've lost since I first started gambling.

So here I go again... day one of a gambling free me. Wish me luck...

Kevin 2 years ago

Came out exactly even Monday. Left Las Vegas with a total loss of $125 for 5 days (not including hotel and bus fare). I went back to my favorite Indian casino yesterday and won $16.

stevex36x 2 years ago

i slipped badly today as i was watching the horse racing today and saw this horse 1 to 5 to win and thought thats a cert and had 50 on it which i had in my poker account as i been playing 1 pound touraments these last few weeks. Anyway the horse lost and ended up taking 200 out of the cashpoint and lost that too!! all to win a poxy tenner! i feel such a idiot now!! no more horses for me i swear!!

Joakim 2 years ago

I have been gambling since 2006. Lost approximately 70 000 Singapore dollars. A foreigner working in Singapore and I lost a lot. Yesterday I brought 2400 then was up to 6000. I cashed it out then saw a good table at baccarrat, tried 200 dollars and lose. Another 500 then lost it again. After that I change all my money again to win the 700 back and that's all. I lost everything.

Kevin 2 years ago

I rarely bet on horses anymore, but I would never lay odds on favorite. Having to risk more than I could win seems almost as bad as playing the Martingale system (doubling your bet after each loss) at tables. A little streak of bad luck can lead to huge losses, all for the chance to win a little.

A one pound poker tournament? That sounds like a good cheap deal on entertainment. Keep it cheap! Very low stakes is the way to play!

Lee1976 profile image

Lee1976 2 years ago

I loved horror movies ever since I was a toddler. Little did I realise that my life would become a horror movie, more sinister and gruesome and evil than them all put together. For me, being a compulsive gambler is like schizophrenia. I suffer and struggle with another addiction and have progressively found my life to be completely unmanageable. I'm incapable of working effectively or at all unsupervised. I can;t be trusted to go to the shop for essentials or to go anywhere unless there's someone with me. My memory is awful, I'm frighteningly forgetful. I'm 37 and have gambled compulsively for over 25 years now. I've had brief periods of abstinence, maybe 6 months at a time before I slip back into a gambling pattern that'll keep me away from a meeting for anything between a month and 10 years. Very scary dark times of my life, many I've blocked from my mind have been directly or indirectly related to this demon. It has dictated every choice I've ever made in my life and as the years have roll by it gets stronger and more sinister.

Brutalll 2 years ago

Bad year at the tables, want to quit badly. Was hoping someone had a magic solution to quitting or at least stopping the bleeding. Back in the heyday of online poker I racked up over $9,000 in overdraft fees in 1 month with my debit card. Ran up six figure cc debt borrowed 20k off a relatives credit card (without permission) to try and win big at the casino, still owe them 4k 12 yrs later. losing 90%+ of earnings every month since college.. Getting too old for this. Like others my brain is fkd up physically I believe and chemically. Gonna try to open a checking account & deposit pay check instead of cashing. And go from there. We'll see if that helps.

Brutalll 2 years ago

The thing I hate about trying to quit gambling is you can't just quit like quitting a job, it's over it's done . You have to quit every day and you never really know if you've quit or not, the time seems to go by so slowly and you just want it speed up so you can put the mistakes further in the past & gain confidence of more time passed without gambling. It's rough.

videopokerloser 2 years ago

I agree. I went for months without gambling, then one day I was by the casino with a friend of mine and knew I had free slot play. I played it off and left without spending any of my own money. But it started that longing and excited feeling all over again and I started gambling again. You just have to stay far away from the casinos. I also leave my ATM at home, but there's times I've went home and grabbed it and went back to the casino. Ugh. That's when I really hate myself because generally I'm on a losing streak and I just end up losing more. A lot of people used to post on here and I haven't heard from them in weeks. I pray they're not gambling again.

Lost 2 years ago

I have a slots addiction. Native Americans should be ashamed. They are responsible for ruining lives. If money is the root of all evil then Indian tribes are evil!!! It's how they make lots of it at the expense of ruining peoples lives. It use to be if you lived in Reno or Las Vegas it was more likely you could develop a gambling addiction. Now there are casinos on every freaking corner in Oklahoma and around the country. If you think they care for their tribal members and the members get any benefits from these casinos you are wrong!! Someone in the higher positions of the tribe are getting rich. But it's not the tribal members. Besides I am Native American and I'm sad they have made it so easy for us to become addicted to gambling. Not only NA but everyone. It touches everyone!!! I never gambled until they opened casinos down the street. I started out on quarter machines then that became boring after trying the dollars. Now I play $2 and $5 machines. It's a bigger high for me. Someone in the casino told me they pay more. That's all it took for me to try my luck. At first I only took money I had to lose (are you kidding? How many of us have it to lose???). Now I'm using every extra dollar I have. I use to never borrow money or lie about going, but now I've dipped into my own son's account which he put me on for emergencies to pay a Bill for him when he's traveling. I am only owing him $300 but I feel Horrible about it!!! He is so kind and trusting and is the light of my life. I am out of control taking money from him. I HATE myself for it. My credit is great. My savings are secure. But I hate what addiction has done to me. I want to quit!!! I tried gamblers anonymous but that group did nothing for me. I need professional help to stop. I suffer from depression and anxiety. It's amazing how calm I am when gambling. It's my escape. But if I don't win the drive home is excruciating. I have thought about how much it would disappoint my sweet husband. He does not like gambling. In fact he is very frugal with every dollar. He knows I go sometimes but he has no idea how much I spend. Now I have two credit cards. One is maxed out and the other is half way. I want to pay those off and cut them up and never have one again. I can't control going to the ATM. THIS DISEASE SUCKS BIG TIME!!! I feel all of you guys pain!!!

Brutalll 2 years ago

I have anxiety too maybe social anxiety don't really know but yes agree once gambling it all goes away I turn into a super hero the brainless gambler man and start going crazy. I've always read u should never gamble when you're bored depressed lonely bit that's usually when I seem to wanna go. My problem is chasing losses and not being able to control how much I bet it's like someone else is controlling my hand when I slide them all into the middle then reality smacks u in the face as they drag your last money away. I'm trying to change the way I'm thinking about everything at focus on something other than myself. Still find myself daydreaming about big wins in the past which ultimately were lost or fantasizing about going in to the casino with a years salary saved to try n win huge. Hard to stop those thoughts I guess a little at a time. Say stop! No! Trying to do some walking feel better trying to improve on different aspects to get more confidence to stop gambling. Good luck to ev1 trying to quit u can do it ! Be patient and let time heal we will feel better

johneddie84 2 years ago

Hi all, 1st time on this site & I have spent the last day reading through every story, all of which I can relate to. I am 29 & feel like I am 59 because the last 8 years of my life have been ruined by my gambling addiction, I started at a young age around 15 & haven't stopped since. I am a smart guy I went to Grammar school did A levels & graduated university with a degree in Economics, yes a gambling addict with an Economics degree it's madness but I just can't control my problem and feel helpless as well as useless, I have zero confidence & no self esteem whatsoever I really do feel pathetic & a waste of space right now. My economics degree took me to a job in a bank & im sure u can imagine how that worked out!! I stole £19k to fund my habit, almost went to jail but escaped with a 240 hour community service order as was lucky enough my parents paid the money back for me. U would think this would have been a big enough warning for me but I still haven't been able to stop, that was 5 years ago & I still haven't learnt. I have ruined my life & my family's life, I haven't even paid my parents back even worse I have had to borrow more on numerous occasions as I keep returning to gambling, get into debt then can't repay it. I love them so much but can't show it, just this week I got paid & gambled everything without even paying a bill or debt. Sports gambling is killing me im completely hooked one bet & that's me I won't stop till its gone, also play poker online last week I played a tourney for 7 hours & won £160, within 5mins I lost the lot in cash game, im not surprises anymore it's happened so often, im at the point where I can't even look at myself i hate myself that much, I went to GA & it seemed to help a bit at the time but it's been over a year now & it seems like every few months now i do the same thing quicker & quicker, this really is a progressive illness please somebody help me before I do something stupid im finding it hard to live with myself

Benny 50USA 2 years ago

Im in trouble again.....I'm on vacation for 2 weeks...have nothing to illness from gambling got over me again.... I've been not gambling for a just happened to me again...I hate it's really very hard to resist!........

Brutalll 2 years ago

It's so easy to say fit let's gamble but it's not worth the pain and the guilt the ongoing hold the addiction has on you. My mind plays trucks on me saying you have gambling in your blood it's who u are it's what you do , don't even try to resist it or quit because it's pointless. That's a rationalization to avoid the hard work of quitting and changing . It can be done. Anything worthwhile requires hard work. I can do it you can do it, stay with it!

videopokerloser 2 years ago

Johneddie84, I did the same thing when I found this through all the stories and most if not all were my exact same story as well. We're all located in different parts of the world, yet we all have the same feelings, experiences and "I hate myself" attitude. Gambling addiction has no boundaries, no continental divide. If GA helped even a little bit, I would give it another try. The worst part of gambling is chasing your losses, which it sounds like you're doing if it's getting progressively worse. You'll never get back what you lost! It's hopeless to go that route. If you start today, you're closer to paying your family back and feeling worthwhile again. Hey, I know! I've lost a lot of money gambling. I'll leave you with my quote of the day: Being defeated is temporary. Giving up is permanent.

Benny50, it's okay. You got bored. You'll be back to your old encouraging self to all of us on this list soon! Brutall, you're so right. We ALL have it in us to quit and change for good!

johneddie84 2 years ago

It's not that I'm chasing my losses because I know there is no chance in hell of winning back what I lost, must be nearly £100,000, but I know from GA that the amount doesn't matter it's the fact that we gamble our last penny, over & over again, then borrow as much as possible & gamble all of that!! The way I was betting shows that I had no intention of trying to win it back, betting £100 to win £100, or £300 to win £200 so I know deep down ill never win it back, it seems like it's just a continuation of betting to constantly tell my head I have a bet running, if i do say 5 selections in an accumulator as soon as the 1st is beat ill do a quad, if the next one loses its a treble, I just want the 'buzz' of having a 'sweat' at all times even though its wrecking my head soooo much! For a while things were that bad I had to do a bet before I went to sleep just so I had something to check when I woke up! And generally it lost & im sitting in bed looking at the results on my phone feeling absolutely heartbroken before I even get up to go to work! Needless to say I usually have another bet in the back of my head before I even get to work at 8am! It's long past the point where I still enjoy it, the pain is outweighing the joy by about a million percent. Gambling has stripped me of my whole personality, I am a shadow of my former self, I find myself in a room of people maybe friends & family & I can no longer think of things to say, no jokes no fun no laughter I have turned into a serious head who can't have a laugh & a joke, NOT the person I was & defo NOT the person I want to be!! I know I need to get my life back & my family love me & do everything to help but I can't even look them in the eye or tell them anything resembling the truth or how I really feel, I feel so lonely at all times, even in a crowded room I may as well be locked in a room by myself. I know the gambling is the cause of all this & I know I MUST STOP NOW before its too late & I lose everyone I care about, I have 2 nephews who I love to bits but I'm that preoccupied with gambling I don't send anytime with them or take any interest in their lives & I feel so embarrassed about that....

Benny 50 2 years ago

I'm back to work this week....thanks videopokerloser...your encouragement uplift my heart to be strong again.....I will start a brand new life....having a gambling free day at a time!

videopokerloser 2 years ago

Ahh, johneddie, okay. Now I understand. It's desensitized you. I get that. I've been there myself...usually "what have I done?!?!" or "what am I going to do?" or "how can I fix this?" is running through my head and I can't concentrate on anything or anyone going on around me. I'm in a fog and I wake up sweating, and that's usually after an almost sleepless night. Btw, I have a degree in Accounting - lol! We both should know better! I have family members who play the stock market and look down at me for gambling at a casino, but in my mind, they're doing the same thing...hypocrites. At least I'm up front about it. They hide and deny their losses just like I have in the past. I guess they just have a classier way of losing money. What has worked for me is finding a new passion. Writing down what I'm grateful for every day and truly meaning and feeling it. Feeling grateful and really feeling it sometimes can cause you to reevaluate your actions. Not to sound like a psychologist here, but I started searching for ways to beat this. I had was destroying me as a person. I didn't feel real anymore and had to look. I needed help. I still do. Weirdly, I started playing Facebook games...most slot machines you can play online now for free. I started seeing how much they lose - ha! I never wanted to play them again with my real money. It helped me. Find a new passion. You can do it.

johneddie84 2 years ago

Thanks for the reply, the worst thing is I know it's all down to me, I have blamed everyone from my family to my work colleagues to my dentist for my problems, madness! Pass the blame onto anyone but myself......but deep down there is no-one can change my life but me, I'm starting to realise that now....i need to man up look my problem in the eye & fight it.....not cower away & accept it, I've been suffering the 'poor me's' for way too long! Always looking an excuse & always finding a way to condone it, I guess that's the illness looking a way out, I've had enough of that...i want my life back & im gonna get it back! I owe my parents everything & im gonna repay them! Might take a while but this is it, my last chance & by fuck I'm gonna take it! I'll never repay them in financial terms but if I can get my life back on track I know that counts for more than any amount of money ever can, if my parents could have 100 million or me with a future I know what they would want......and I'm determined to make that happen, my Granny always said gambling is the devil's game & I always laughed, if I'd paid more attention I may not be here....but that's in the past.... the future is now & I WILL make it a happy one :)

jol 2 years ago

Yea it's like I'm in a house with all the people who mean the most to me yet at same time I'm saying 'I wish everyone would fuck off so I can sit & gamble like a hermit!' Madness!!

What really annoys me is that if 5 years ago someone asked me 'it's Sat nite wot u wanna do?' I'd of said 'drink then a pub then a nite club then a party!' And I loved the craic every weekend, but this past 4 years my mind has fooled me into thinking my perfect Sat nite is a carryout a bet & a game of poker online, by myself!! Not me at all! The gambling has fooled my normal brain into a gambling brain! Madness when I consider me right now & me 4 years ago, like 2 completely different people!! Well I'm looking to find the good version of myself right now, he's a good person everyone likes, the other person is a complete gypsy I want nothing to do with! I want to bury him & never see him again!

Jamie 2 years ago

My problem is that I enjoy gambling too much and deep down I don't want to quit. Luckily I know when to stop (I've never bet money I cannot afford like rent and bills)

The killer for me used to be roulette. I realized that 80-90% of my losses were from this extremely addictive game. However, quitting roulette was surprisingly easy, it's betting on the football that's hard to shake. The reason for this is because it's like a hobby for me. As geeky as it sounds, I love checking stats on football teams all around the world. I could sit at the computer for hours compiling together the perfect bet. When the bet wins it's very satisfying because in a way I feel like I earned it. but when it loses, I immediately look for more teams to bet on without giving it any thought.

Instead of going cold turkey like I have done in the past, I'm going to try and discipline myself to £50/week. I've banned myself from all online betting sites to prevent myself from doing heat of the moment bets.

I will come back to this page in a week and see if I can keep to it.

Kevin 2 years ago

It's too bad that few if any casinos offer a self restriction program without a complete ban. There should be an option to limit yourself to X dollars of losses per day/week/month or X dollars of total action or X maximum bets or banned from certain games. That way I could restrict myself to one cent bets on slots and when I insert my club card all other bet buttons would go dead and if I pressed one either intentionally or accidentally the machine would ignore it and not spin.

I am very glad that online gambling is illegal here in California. I sure don't need that temptation! If it were legal I would like to ban myself from all online gambling, but if you ban yourself from Caesars' online poker site (currently accessible only in Nevada and New Jersey) then you are automatically banned from all their brick and mortar casinos and even nongaming parts of the facilities. Hopefully online gambling will never become legal in California.

videopokerloser 2 years ago


I'm taking it that you're in the U.K.? Roulette seems to be a big thing there. Not so much in the states...just another table game to play. Someone else here on this list said there's one on every street corner practically. Is that true?

johneddie84 2 years ago

Videopokerloser - There is at least one in every single bookmakers shop, but not an actual table like a real casino, its Roulette built into a machine, and yes bookies are everywhere at least one on every street so yes these machines are everywhere. I live in Northern Ireland & that is the case & I know parts of England are 20 times worse due to larger population, this is a large part of the reason why bookies open at 9am even when there is no Racing til maybe 2pm! Thankfully this is one area of gambling that never sucked me in.....For some reason I am able to pass it up & say to myself 'this is a machine designed to take your money' (if only i could do the same with Sports betting!!!!) but I know so many people who have a major addiction with them, they are evil & should be banned

Jamie 2 years ago

As john said, they are literally everywhere. There are 4 bookmakers in the shopping centre near my house, all of which have 4 roulette/slot machines (the maximum they're allowed)

I remember years ago when they weren't too popular but nowadays whenever I go in the bookmakers, all 4 machines are nearly always occupied. Sometimes I also see people hovering around waiting until somebody leaves a machine (that used to be me)

videopokerloser 2 years ago

Wow! I went online to see what one looked like and read an article where they called them the crack cocaine of gambling. It sounds like they're trying to ban them or get them out of the bookmaker's shops. The article was written last December though. It's no different I guess than in Las Vegas. They have machines in gas stations, grocery stores and just about anywhere else. I lived in LV for 9 years which is where I picked up this debilitating habit.

Brutalll 2 years ago

Johnedddie I feel the same way when u said: Gambling has stripped me of my whole personality, I am a shadow of my former self,

When I take a big loss it puts me in bed for a day or two tossing n turning thinking and a very bad depression for days longer. I think Its selfish to only focus on our own desires and not others. I've paid the price as I'm single & have not been on a date in 5 yrs. every time we gamble we're selling our future: finances, relationships, emotions... Our lives! I too can never leave when I should ; I've never* left a casino at breakeven or just down some always win or leave dead broke. The depression only gets worse as the yrs go by and the losses pile up. Video poker loser i sympathize with you also have a/c degree....ugh fml #s always runnin through my head!

johneddie84 2 years ago

Yes it is so true, and when the debts mount up it just gets worse, every letter in the post every phone call every email i get asking for money is just like another wee dig at me, gradually chipping away at me & any bit of hope or confidence in myself I have left. I have never had a proper girlfriend as gambling got its clutches into me at such a young age I was never able to really be myself, think for myself, or actually sit & have a think about what I wanted from this life, too afraid to commit to anyone or anything apart from gambling, it's at the stage where I don't have opinions anymore - people ask me what I think of this or that & I just don't know anymore, my head is that wrecked I don't even know what I want, I sat the other day & said to myself 'what do I want to do this weekend, what do I enjoy, what gives me enjoyment & pleasure?' I couldn't answer any of those questions, gambling has stripped me of my ability to think for myself, I am lost I don't know who I am anymore or how to find the real person inside me because it's been so long since the gambling engulfed my whole life, it really is a sad & pathetic way to be & im not even 30 yet, I feel like my life ended when I left Uni at 21 because since then I've had no emotional relationship with anyone & feel like I have wasted my whole life on gambling, one or two holidays & a few stag party's has been all I have managed to do, my brother lived in Oz for 10 years & I think I must have said 1000 times I was going to go & live with him for a few months or a year but I never even got close to saving the money for the flight as gambling made sure of that, my brother is now home & that's just one more regret to add to the big long list of mine

videopokerloser 2 years ago

Really, Kuenzler. Wow! Then why don't you dole some cash out to this group while you're spreading the word about Dr. Oye!!!

Ya know, it takes a really sick person to post some bogus bullshit to people suffering from addiction. I'm sure your Karma will come back to you soon.

videopokerloser 2 years ago

My quote of the night:

“Loss invites reflection and reformulating and a change of strategies. Loss hurts and bleeds and aches. Loss is always ready to call out your name in the night. Loss follows you home and taunts you at the breakfast table, follows you to work in the morning. You have to make accommodations and broker deals to soften the rabbit punches that loss brings to your daily life. You have to take the word "loser" and add it to your resume and walk around with it on your name tag as it hand-feeds you your own shit in dosages too large for even great beasts to swallow. The word "loser" follows you, bird-dogs you, sniffs you out of whatever fields you hide in because you have to face things clearly and you cannot turn away from what is true.” Pat Conroy, Author

videopokerloser 2 years ago

One more:

"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours."

Ayn Rand , Overcoming Addiction

Kate 2 years ago

I can't seem to stop. I can not seem to come home with any winnings. I tell my self if I can win $100 extra I will leave. Win that $100 extra, spend it and keep chasing so much I dig an even bigger hole to chase. My brain keeps telling me next time I will come home with it. Just try one more time. My logic tells me never to enter a casino again. HELP

Benny 50U.S. 2 years ago

I need to stop gambling....before it s too late! I back to my illness...I hate it!.. I go to church after this....I liked your sharing videopokerloser....I need those strengthen my heart to fight this illness!

Benny50U.S. 2 years ago

I need help... This is my email gambling...I need sponsor!... I will go back to ga meetings .... Thank you ...god bless!

videopokerloser 2 years ago

Benny, I'm glad the quotes help. I'll try to post at least one per day:

"One of the most basic factors in sports is that winning becomes a habit, and losing is the same way. When failure starts to feel normal in your life or your work or even your darkest vices, you won't have to go looking for trouble, because trouble will find you. Count on it."

Hunter S. Thompson, Author (and admitted gambling addict)

Benny 50. U.S. 2 years ago

I don't know why....I never learned from my past? I experienced the pains,remorsed,sorrow,losing all my money.....whenever I build up some money....urges to gamble starts agAin....thinking I have the control and be smart this time. I play limit! But when losing....I play more heavy....I started to chase my losses! I wrote this just to share my problem there anybody there like me?

Jamie 2 years ago

I had a big urge to play roulette online last night but I managed to withstand it. I watched a YouTube video of some guy playing roulette and it helped massively. I watched him get up to £800 which gave a similar sort of buzz watching the wheel go round and not knowing if it will land on a big number. I also watched him lose it all (or most of it, the video cut off when he was down to £50)

After watching this video, I felt sick for him and I had no urge to play roulette afterwards.

Brutalll 2 years ago

Benny yes I have similar problem I used to think I gambled some of my best when I am losing and trying to win it back, very very aggressive betting no fear of the outcome whatsoever just like in a hell bent zone to win it back or be ruined. As you know mostly it ends in ruin. The times it works will end up in loss the next time or two back which sends you back to the trash can again. You might as well have lost it the 1st time through, saved your time & put your energy towards something more worthwhile ... Anything, watching grass grow anything. People like us who get obsessed & addicted easily & can't control our gambling & cannot just do it occasionally for fun should NOT gamble AT ALL! It will lead us back to being broke depressed feeling guilty isolated mad tired sick careless wreck less. We may win in the short term but eventually we will all lose it's unavoidable. My main problems are if I'm losing I won't quit until it's gone or until I've got it all back plus a "decent win" & I can't control the amount of my bets it's like someone else is forcing the chips onto the table. With the odds stacked against us, the limited funds to weather downswings & just overall degenerate gambling behavior there is no hope it's pointless. Even with a big win most of us will go back and loose it all so what's the point?! Will feel even worse than normal after fng it off once again and be forever chasing that "win" only to dig deeper n deeper. Over the years I learned to buy a few things after a win bc I knew if I didn't id have nothing to show for it in few days. This was slightly better than having nothing to show for but still a chitty way to manage money. About 13 days ago since I quit I decided to open a savings account at the beg of the month & I would deposit my check for the 1st time in 5 yrs. Around 2009 I had 3 checking accounts that were all closed after each was overdrawn 1,000+. That gets you listed in chexsystems the banking database so that banks will not let you open accounts with them. Every since then I've been cashing my check each month and losing it straight away. So my plan worked I was able to open the account & make the deposit. I nearly failed several times as my silent voice kept saying just go cash it and stash it away instead if using a bank or just go cash it and and maybe play some at casino for something to do. My plan is to try n save for 6-8 months or a year and hopefully along the way figure a better way to use the money: invest, just save, or whatever and as the time and savings builds that my confidence will grow as I try to live without gambling in my life and knowing I'm doing good instead of fkng everything up month after month. Not gambling seems very boring to me right now but trying to make it one week at a time , it will definitely be worth it if it works. I just hope to find out what it feels like to be like nirmal people again where not constantly thinking dreaming daydreaming fantasizing system-planning rationalizing and stressing about gambling. If you wait long enough I think your mind can approach normal again. Best wishes to all.

Benny 50 2 years ago

Getting better....keep myself busy....I would never let the f...... Evil voice get over my brain to gamble again ! I will be a strong person now. I will put god everything I do.....I will ignore the evil voices that keeps on tempting me to gamble. I'm a hardworking person ...I don't. Deserved to have a shattered life! To all my friends....pls. Don't gamble....don't be tempted from what the evil voices delivers into our selves....don't listen.....resist the evil.......we have god voice...powerful than strong , keep the faith! This is my 4th day gambling free.....let's put our mind together ...we have one goal.....stop gambling!

videopokerloser 2 years ago

Quote of the Day:

In the casino, the cardinal rule is

to keep them playing and to keep them coming back.

The longer they play, the more they lose,

and in the end, we get it all…

Robert DeNiro in Casino Royale

videopokerloser 2 years ago

You could have a steam train, if you'd just lay down your tracks. You could have an aeroplane flying, if you bring your blue sky back........

I kicked the habit...shed my skin....this is the new stuff... I come dancing in...we come dancing in...gonna feel that power build in you.

Peter Gabriel, Sledgehammer

stevex36x 2 years ago

not gambled for over 2 weeks before this week and i won about 160 and just now i lost 220 in a space of 5 minutes on those evil rouette machines in bookies! i feel like i lost 220 and its so hard atm for me as i want to go to the bank and get money out and chase it! i,am saying to myself i,am only 60 pound down this week steve so don,t worry, but the urge is so strong its unreal! please can everyone prey for me that i can resist this strong evil satanic urge.

Benny50. US 2 years ago

We pray for u stevex36x.....I'm also struggling right my paycheck yesterday.....this evil voices is tempting me again.....strong urge to gamble......I went to gym ...keep my body got tired......stay busy....fight this destroy our lives.......calm down and think those times that we were's hard without money my friend.......I'm trying to be smart this time.....!

Paul 2 years ago

I'm retard because of gambling, loose more than 100,000 my 6 Years income, tried to stop gambling 1000 times but cannot control my self , physically I'm getting weak and loose my frens and family and. All property

Benny 50 US 2 years ago

Im just like u Paul !... I'm also struggling from this illness!.....but I never lost my hope!... I accept what's going on with me....I pray to god to give me the strength to resist this evil temptation ! We know what's gonna happen with us when we gamble....still, we do it!..... We have life to live my smart!

videopokerloser 2 years ago

Well I messed up last night myself. Got an email for free slot play to "come back" and didn't take a lot of money with me. I won and put it all in again, as usual. Ugh. It's not about the money anymore because I didn't lose much of what I brought and am fine financially, but it's the disgust at myself for buying into that. I couldn't sleep when I got home...partially due to drinking 3 coffees there, but I just don't understand why I do this. It's the psychological aspect of me that I don't get. I was "up" quite a bit, but didn't leave like I should have. I just don't get it. :(

Benny 50 US 2 years ago

It's because of excitement...videopoker loser!...... Me too...I lost it all! Sometimes it's good without money to gamble! But when there's money....urge comes ....that evil voice gets into our ears...tempting us to gamble again........get some winnings but in the end we lost! Because. We never stop! This is crazy world life is coming fall apart...slowly killing me....I'm off the tract! I agree with u...videopokerloser...we have problem! The good thing of me is....I accept the fact and ready to move on to the next chapter of my life...I'm 56 yrs. old...I have 6 yrs. left to retire.... Never lost hope....we have life to live....just enjoy it......above all.....have faith in god.....he is the answer of this problem!

videopokerloser 2 years ago

That's exactly it, Benny...the excitement. I even ignored that little voice inside of me that was screaming, Go home!!! I need to pay attention to that voice that never steers me wrong because I think it's my angels. I was tired, sick of gambling and of the noise in the casino. Someone else is in the driver's seat when I gamble pushing me to lose it all. It's not me navigating anymore.

Quote of the day: Luck sometimes visits a fool, but it never sits down with him. ~ German Proverb

Kevin 2 years ago

Kentucky Gambler by Merle Haggard. Very appropriate lyrics.

Brutalll 2 years ago

Haven't gambled in 26 days , I do take smallish bets on ftball from a few acquaintences but I don't consider that as me gambling, anyway it popped in my head to go LV for a weekend so I can bet sports b/c I'm so bored & have no life. Trying to quit with no real friends around to hang out with and do things together Makes it easy to fall back into a gambling mentality & use gambling as a friend. I know it's not gd idea but I don't know what else to do w myself. hoping it will elevate my mood and help to get interested in doing other stuff. Don't know ....confused.will try to think it through some more before deciding.

videopokerloser 2 years ago

Thanks for the song, Kevin. No truer words have been spoken.

Brutalll, doesn't sound like the greatest of ideas, however, I'm moving, dragging all of my stuff back to LV within a month if I save just a little more. I lived in LV for 9 years and miss it too much and my 2 kids that live there. LV is not a boring city to live in like the city I'm in now. There's a lot to do besides gambling and am positive I can stay out of that pattern now.

If you do decide to go, I wish you luck, although you've been doing so good. Almost a month!! Isn't there somewhere else you'd rather go?

Kevin 2 years ago

You can bet on sports for just five dollars at most sports books. Make just a few five dollar bets and then stay in the sports book and watch the games you bet on instead of wandering over to the table games.

Play slot machines one penny per spin. Ride the double decker bus on the Strip on the top floor front row for a great view. Go to the Pinball Hall of Fame and Gamer's Paradise next door. Go to the public library and use the internet. Las Vegas can be a cheap entertainment destination. Just don't take a lot of cash and stay away from ATMs.

Benny50 2 years ago

Pls. Pls. friend bruttall.... For me it's not a good idea!... Remember the 12 steps.....stay away from this f......casinos .....I'm begging ....I'm just like u.... Once we get there.....we lost our control.....even if we are winning....we never many...many times that happens to's proven.....I don't f.....stopped....till I lost it all !.....the casino cardinal rule is true.....keep us playing....keep us coming back...till we lost it all! And even we know that...why do we still coming back?....we have life to's our choice my friend....this is 6 days gambling free....I have faith in god....I'll keep on fighting this illness......I do believe there's no peace in's not too late my friends....!

Benny50 2 years ago

I felt getting back to my old self......getting control over urges to gamble!... Peace started to developed into my brain.....kick this habit out of my life......enjoy it in a healthy way!... Hope u guys do the same!...if u need help...u can I will attend GA meeting today at 9:00am!.... Good luck to everybody!!!!

videopokerloser 2 years ago

Good for Benny...keep it up!!!!

"The only man who makes money following the races is one who does it with a broom and shovel." Elbert Hubbard

Benny50 2 years ago

I will my friend...videopokerloser!... There's always HOPE!......the pains made me more stronger. I will not let this illness destroy my life.....I still have a good future...I'm old but still in good shape...I'm back in the gym...sweat n stay fit..feel better this way! Enjoy life in a healthy way...start some new friends! Enjoy life in clean and healthy environment....people that hates gambling!..stop the pain...stop gambling!

videopokerloser 2 years ago

I know you can do it, Benny. You have before, and each time, you'll get stronger. There's a lot of people on this list that don't post anymore. I hope they're still reading these words of wisdom and pain and hope from others!!

"Casinos and prostitutes have the same thing in common; they are both trying to screw you out of your money and send you home with a smile on your face." VP Pappy

Benny50 2 years ago

Hope ...all is well! Stay in the positive mode....we all know that gambling destroy our lives....emotionally and financially !.. Pls. Stop gambling..don't put your life in trouble ! I'm sharing this because it happens to me....many times I failed thing good with ...I have the heart to change again and again...I keep on coming, I sleep rushing...there's urges but I don't go with it! I got PEACE. In my mind! I don't say that I'm safe...but I'm working with it. I learned from my past, it keeps me stronger.....till next my friends...god bless!

Benny 50 2 years ago

Just sharing....some of the best lessons are learned from past mistakes. The error of the past is the wisdom of the future!.....get rid of this gambling habit...there's hope my friends!

stevex36x 2 years ago

not gambled for 2 weeks but today i wanted to win just 10 pounds and ended up losing 480 in the bookie roulette! i only had 20 on me but went to the cash machine and then the bank! i am sick of the urges after i stop for a bit and then when i do gamble i can not stop! there is just no hope for me and i feel so sick right now! please god help me

Benny50 2 years ago

You are not alone my friend...stevex36x! I was in te same situation the last 2 weeks.......really really bad! I know you want to get your money back......but it won't will just get buried n buried...don't let that happen to you my's over....accept it n move on in life! That's what I'm doing now....learned from it, forget our losses...gone is gone! We pray for you!

stevex36x 2 years ago

thankyou benny. i strongly belive that its demons that urge me to gamble! theres demons for sex and drugs ect too! after 2 weeks of not gambling these demons attack me! i know deep down i will never beat them myself and ONLY with the help of the lord can these demons be beaten.

Paul 2 years ago

Depressed :( Gambled a lot of money tonight. I have just enough money if I skimp until my next pay - quality of life is so poor. Feel for you all.

stevex36x 2 years ago

hi paul, i know that feeling all too well! i,am 36 now and been gambling since i was about 6 on the penny machines. the thing is with me is i don,t gamble everyday like i used to, i don,t gamble for say 2 weeks and then i think i,am in control now and blow everything that i got and back to square one!! i truly belive that this illness never gos! just gets easier maybe to control!

videopokerloser 2 years ago

I went to the casino slot play pulling me in. I didn't lose much, but I walked past two people and stopped because one hit the bonus round on Wheel of Fortune. She won $2000, but told me when I congratulated her that she'd put $4000 in the machine. I stopped while another person won $8500 - sometimes I just walk around to watch people to see if they're winning - he'd put $10,000 in. He was playing $125 a hand in video poker. You think people are winning lots when you walk by, but when you stop and talk to them, they've lost. This is the reality of gambling. I'm not losing much per night, but little by little, gambling is still eating me away.

stevex36x 2 years ago

thats good your not losing that much and you got the mindset to control and walk away when enough is enough! just be grateful you never chased your loses and lose everything all the time! so gambling to you is more a entertainment thing! this is the reason why gambling will never be banned from the uk as thats the goverments excuse, they say it will stop millions having entertainment!

Kevin 2 years ago

Gambling should be thought of as entertainment. It is not an investment and it is not a substitute for work. Like almost all entertainment, you have to pay for it. This year I will be going to our county fair 5 times. $45 per day, $30 for an unlimited ride wristband, $10 admission, and $5 parking. Other forms of entertainment can be much higher than that. Handled properly, gambling can be a very cheap form of entertainment. Misused, it can be extremely expensive. Every business exists to take people's money from them. Each person must learn financial discipline in all areas. Gambling is inherently neither evil or good. Like fire, water, and electricity, it can be used for good or for evil.

stevex36x 2 years ago

there is no financial discipline when you got a gambling addiction kevin! thats what the gambling industry wants us to belive! the bookies in uk got posters saying stay in control ect! this is the biggest myth ever and they know it!

Benny50 2 years ago

Hello everyone! Gamblers have some good days and some bad's a matter of choice...where you wanna be!.... If you want peace of mind....healthy longer...then stop gambling! Just sharing my's happening on me.....on us....! Go to ga meetings. Meet people there that will motivates you....learn more about this illnesss and how to stop it! Till next....have a peacefully day......

kate 2 years ago

thanks Benny50

quitter 2 years ago

Keeping things brief... I messed up again after doing so well.

My total owings to the bank and family is now up to £20,775!!! So how is that possible after having got it down to £19,000 you may ask. Well it's because I messed up again today by losing another whopping £1,375 at the casino and because I've had to take out £600 from my daughter's savings account to cover the losses.

My mistake was taking back my bank card from my wife while we went away, and then after the trip the card was left in my wallet and temptation was too great for me. I have now given back the card to my wife and have to start the process again, and now I owe people even more... and the worse thing is that one of those people is my unknowing 3 year old daughter!

So here we go again... I owe my wife £1000, the bank £11,175, my mum £8000 and my daughter £600!!! That is a total of £20,775.

I really must come on here more regularly to give updates and show how much I've paid back to make sure I keep things going, and so I don't fall into bad ways again! No one else can help me but me.... watch this space!

Stu13 2 years ago


I sat last night and read this entire blog, it was like looking in a mirror the most part. I decided that gambling has had a hold of me far to long and that I'm stopping today. From all the previous posts I can see this is going to be very hard nearly everyone relapses and very few people stop. Because of this I have decided to see a hypotist he says with just 1 session he can get me to stop. He reprograms the sub consience apparently. I have two weeks till the appointment but I will update you on how I get on as it could help some of you. Untill then it's take each day as it comes small goals get through each day gamble free. I'm hoping that the stories start to change that people start to beat this thing because right now it's looking kinda like the house is winning as always. Remember 'We can not win because we can't stop!! Good luck !

Patron kid 2 years ago

My gambling addiction has gotten the best of me. It hurts bad. I gamble my rent and bill money. And it hurts I want to quit. I am alone and don't have anyone by my side and when I think about my bills I rely on the gambling gods to uplift me from debt at least enough for me to quit. I'm only 28 and I've had negative thoughts even on commuting suicide that's how I know it's gotten the best of me. All I'm trying to do is win enough so I can get on my feet. And then I can be able to quit but it never works out for me. I never been the type to ask or borrow money from ppl as I've done so lately I feel like the scum of the earth. And believe I will win next time and then I lose. And feel like the bottom of the barrow all over again. I hate this feeling it's genetic and I wish to rid this gambling addiction out of my system. I pray daily I pray for help I pray that there's an upside to my downfall. And ask what did I do to deserve this? When all I'm really am trying to do is the right thing. I f'd ip

Alex 2 years ago

I've lost 25000 in the last 3 months and well over 200000 since first starting to gamble I'm not In dept have a good paying job but somtimes I think what for as I have nothing to show only yesterday I lost 2500 and week before that 3500 it's only now I relise I need help before it to late

Benny50 2 years ago

Welcome on this site ALEX! You made the right decision in your life.....stop gambling my friend.....there's a lot of help. ,like attending GA meetings, reading books how to stop gambling, go to I stop more! I'm also struggling.....I hate this illness...kick this habit out in your life, stop the pain.....just move on ..and enjoy life in a health way....there's hope!

David 2 years ago

I'm 28 I've been gambling since around 19 and I have got to the point where I change or I don't exist, I lose my wages every month within 2 days of being paid, I've run up lots of loans and now I've done the worst of the worst, I took money that was my dads around £1800 I thought if I could just win 100 and put it back, I would be ok until payday, I lost the lot, the thought that it was stealing never entered my head, I stole my dad's money and now I'm struggling to cope with what I've done, it's now not about the money, it's about my family I've hurt them without realising it, I will pay the money back within a a couple of months, but this has shattered my parents n family and myself, something inside of me has been asleep for a long time but now my eyes are open and I've made myself my family and the whole world a promise, I will never gamble again not a single penny, I've lost some of the best years of my life, nearly lost my family and that ain't gonna happen again. This is my second chance at my adult life, I'm going to pay my parents back and then set up a payment plan to pay my debts off, I'm not sure if there's a charity for problem gamblers but there should be, us gamblers need more help

Fay 2 years ago

I am 53 yrs old and have a gambling problem. I just want to be able to focus on something else in life besides myself and my money problems. My thoughts are never "clear" because this underlying problem and the anxiety it causes are always in the back of my mind. I am so ashamed and embarrassed. I have 2 good jobs and my husband works 2 good jobs and we would be doing great financially if it weren't for me. I have turned into a person who writes bad checks, borrows money from others,

let myself go physically, betrayed the trust of others, I lie without thinking twice about it. My marriage is on paper only. I so want to rise above this. It owns me. I am a slave to it and only compound it with my self hatred because of my guilt. I am going to take this a day at a time and try and pray through it.

Adrian 2 years ago

Stu13, please update us on how things go with the hypnotist. I wish the solution is that simple and maybe it is. I wish you the best of luck.

Benny 50 2 years ago

Hope all is well! I'm struggling with this illness...but never lost my day at a time...pls. Stop the pain....stop gambling.... !

videopokerloser 2 years ago

Glad to see new people have joined us in our journey to stop gambling. Fay, it sickens me to think how much I've lost gambling...not just money, but the trust and disrespect I had to rebuild with my family who loves me regardless. I don't deserve them! They have stood by me the whole time, and I lied shamelessly with them as well.

danny 2 years ago

I have been suffering from addiction to the roulette now for about 3 years. I have always enjoyed gambling, started off with just football coupons etc. It got worse and worse and I will gamble ridiculous things like a full months paycheck, or money I owe. I am definitely a compulsive gambler, just wondering if anyone who has quit has found a good way not going full turkey, like £10 a week or something? I have tried this before and had no luck, feeling depressed and socially awkward 24/7

Kevin 2 years ago

Read my old messages. I have gotten my gambling under control without quitting completely. I now play slot machines one line one credit. 1 cent per spin. I don't play tables much anymore. I go to a nearby Indian casino once or twice per week and my budget per trip is 9 dollars. I usually spend much less than that. Despite my tiny bets, I am still obsessed with gambling. At least it doesn't cost much anymore.

Jacob 2 years ago

I haven't bet in 5 weeks but this week decided to see if I could gamble responsibly. I did a £20 bet on the football and if all selections came in I would win £1,200.

All 6 teams I needed to win on Saturday won, I just needed Everton and Chelsea to win and I'm in the money. Anybody who follows football knows what happened next. A F***** 93rd Man Utd equalizer against Chelsea cost me £1,200. I'm not usually a violent person but as soon as they scored I punched my TV and its broke. That's more money down the drain. I swear I'm one of the unluckiest punters out there.

That's not the worst part, soon after in rage I log in to my betting account and piss £400 down the toilet on roulette and another £200 tonight. I need to stop this, I'm so annoyed with myself it's unreal :(

David 24 months ago

I posted my first message 3 weeks ago and good news is, I ain't bet since. Family are being supportive and forgiving which I know I don't deserve but I do appreciate it. I've tried started going fishing more and taking driving lessons and I believe doing more things distracts your attentions from gambling, well so far so good.

Rich 23 months ago

We all know our brain dictates our actions - including gambling and other addictions - FDA approved Low Dose Naltrexone adjusts our immune system .

It gave me life and my family back - haven't had bet or visited a casino for well over 12 months will be pleased to tell you how to find out if it's for you

email gptmatters at g mail dot com

Mr c 23 months ago

Last night I lost the money to a purchase of a property...... I really messed it up this time, I have been gambling for 9 years of my life and it all started with the bookies, this then led to casino and worst of them all on-line gambling. I really don't know what to do any more, I have lost all control of my senses and only numbness fills my body. we are trapped in a spiral of despair and misery. engulfed in a unforgivable habbit. money spent gambling or lost in gambling no longer belongs to us and we must accept that is never was ours.

Me 22 months ago

I like gambling even though it is destructive indeed but I can't quit yet bc I have no life and nothing worthwhile to focus on....I go bk and forth b/n trying to quit and just accepting my repetitive degen nature. Definitely a hard life mentally and emotionally wish I could just quit....or get really lucky

Kevin 22 months ago

I have been going to my favorite Indian casino once or twice a week and playing penny slots one penny at a time. One time I played Pai Gow for $5 plus $1 bonus bet. I quit after winning $12. Off topic, I went on a bit of in irresponsible shopping spree on credit. I bought a 42 inch 1080p tv to replace a 32 inch 720p tv. I also bought a new computer. Definitely better than wasting the money gambling, but I was already in debt $800+ for car repairs and now I am even more in debt.

stevex36x 22 months ago

well i had 700 saved for christmas and ended up losing 200 on those evil roulette in bookies and then something took over me and i ended up doing another 500 and doing it all! laying in bed now and already taken 10 codine tables and i got no money and no friends no job so i got nothing in life to live for! i just been sick now from the overdose! i am writing this because hopefully i will die now and this will set a example for all you gambles to give up and not be like me! hope you can beat this evil illness and live a happy life unlike me! lets hope i go to a better place soon! good luck all on beating it and everytime you get that urge just think you could end up like me if you carry on!! god bless you all

Benny usa 22 months ago

Sad to hear that Steve ! You are not alone my friend ! I'm still playing...but now I just gamble what I can afford...I just lost $300. Today..playing 4/8 poker! Not my day......I surrender everything to my wife...she's in charge! I don't wanna lose her trust...I have 2 kidz one in college n one in high school!...since, it's hard for me to stop, Im trying to gamble in moderate way! Just move on bro! Gone is is good!

Kevin 22 months ago

Steve, I hope your suicide attempt failed and you are alive to read this. You need serious help. You should probably check yourself into a public mental hospital. There you will have no opportunity to harm yourself and no opportunity to gamble.

michelletee profile image

michelletee 22 months ago from United States Author

Steve.. you do need help. Call the Gambling Helpline in your area. They will help set you in the right direction, okay. Your life is worth too much. Do not let gambling destroy you... you have too much to live for.

We will never win at gambling... only lose..not just financially but in many areas of our lives.

Michelle Tee

Kevin 22 months ago

I am going to try to just go to the casino once per week instead of twice. I need to spend more time with my parents. They are in their late 80s, so odds are they won't be around too many more years. My mother was very delighted when I said I would spend tomorrow shopping with her instead of gambling.

den 22 months ago

i ve been trying to stop gambling for a while now!lost my girlfriend as i had to choose btwn changing and being on my own,she was the kind of girl reallyt good wiv her money planning on getting a mortgage and things...a year later,i havent changed a bit,lose all my wages gambling,struggle to pay off the loan i had to get to pay off a 6 grand credit card bill,and am on my own!i work hard,go to the gym but always end up going to the bookies!!i got myself barred but go to a different one further away which cost even more,as i had to sell my car too!!!easy to say im gonna stop now,but am i??lets see how long it last,gonna giuve it a really good go from now,should be easy few days as havent got a penny to spend;)good luck all,lets do this!!!

Benny USA 22 months ago

As long as we have this gambling habit in our lives ....our life will remain rough,stressfull,unstable,unhealthy,sadness n full of remorsed!...I'm one of them! Good luck to us.....hope one day..we STOP!

videopokerloser 22 months ago

Just a reminder to everyone out there. Gamblers are really susceptible this time of year in the hopes of trying to win money for Christmas/Hanukkah and the holidays in general. I fell into that trap last year and blew $400 - a lot of money to me - a few days before Christmas. I still have a hard time forgiving myself for that, but so far this year, I haven't done this with that memory still raw in my mind. My heart hurts reading stories like from stevex who took too many pain pills and we haven't heard from him since. I truly hope what I fear hasn't happened. Steve, if you're out there, let us know you are okay.

den 22 months ago

i know wat its like,went xmas shopping with 300 pound,and thats all i had!!came back with nothing and not a penny as stopped in the betting shop on the way thinking i only try 20 pound in there!!cant afford presents anymore!!!that was 3 days ago!!hopefully my last bet ever!!!im crossing day after day on the calendar now,hoping it ll help,i wanna see many crosses on there!!i ll let u know if it works;)and sharing that helps too!!so if u read,share ur pain,it does help trust!!

stevex36x 22 months ago

hi all, just wanted to say i am safe and well as i ended up going to hospital and having my stomach pumped in the end and staying there for a few nights! lets hope this is my final warning! i,am just going to play cheap poker touraments from now on to pass the time away. thankyou for your corcern as it means alot. hope you all have a great christmas and happy new year and maybe we can all beat this terrible illness! god bless you all.

videopokerloser 22 months ago

Oh, thank you, Steve, for letting us know you're okay! What a wake up call for all of us to see what gambling can push us into. So thankful you are safe and have a merry christmas and happy new year! I hope 2015 is the year for all of us to beat this addiction.

Kieran 22 months ago

Steve, going to cheap poker touraments will make things worst, eventually you will bet more and more.

videopokerloser 22 months ago

God bless you too, Steve. I posted a comment here yesterday how happy I was to hear from you and it's not showing up! I agree with will not help to do that in poker tourneys...

Merry Christmas to everyone. Let's all hope 2015 is the year we beat this addiction.

jsaon 22 months ago

its not easy

Sandy 22 months ago

Where to begin??? I've been gambling for about 20 years.

I had a great job at Notre Dame. I was fired I stoled to gamble. I think about this every day. I wrote bad checks. I owe everyone I know. I owe my daughter over 30,000.00, she paid the bank off so I would not go to jail. I gambled today, lost my whole unemployment check.


Benny USA 22 months ago

I know it's hard to stop this illness but there's hope!

RTG 22 months ago

Is CompColl4000 dead? I hope not.....

Benny USA 22 months ago

You are not alone ..sandy! We're all in the same boat... There's hope...keep your faith in god.....I lost a lot of money too...but we have life to live...just move on...this is a good time to start year life! Gone is gone.....forget it! Move forward n build up your good name again....just stop gambling will strong my friend...u can do it...god bless!

Rod 22 months ago

Thanks to all for sharing. I've been in denial and have quit before as well, but starting back reminds me of how controlling and damaging it is. I make well into the six-figures, but don't have the life to show for it due to gambling. I've lost $10k within the last week on penny slots. I have too many people depending on me to continue this disruptive behavior. Thanks for the reality check and transparency opportunity. Praying all the best as we conquer this addiction. God Bless!

Kevin 21 months ago

Ten thousand dollars on penny machines? Keep your hands away from the max bet button. It is pure evil. The good buttons are "one line", "play one per line", "repeat the bet" (only after first pressing the previous two buttons), "cash out", and "service" (in case of a malfunction). All the other buttons are evil.

Rod 21 months ago


The minimum bet thing is tough for me. I am an owner of a few businesses and the high risk/high reward is embedded in me. However, I spent the day fishing instead of going to the casino and found it relaxing and exhilarating at the same time. This is a past-time I used to do and is a lot less expensive. I'm on my way to discipline and self-control again.

Kevin 21 months ago

I am in Las Vegas again. I arrived Wednesday night and will be leaving Tuesday morning. I have lost $29 so far, but tonight I will play craps, blackjack, and a poker tournament. My gambling budget for the trip is not over $200 and preferably not over $100. I spent Thursday with my friend from an arcade game website that lives here. tomorrow I am going to pig out on lobster at a seafood buffet.

EDS 21 months ago

I've been playing online betting on and off for a year and lost for 20k now.. honestly these are the worst days life, stay till midnight, stress, anxious, not focus during work (miss out meeting)... my happiness are all gone.. lending money around family, friends.. owning 10k debt with another loan of 100k on going... i really hate this feeling and hope to let this stop from now.. losing trust from my family and friends... I really hope today is the day of my gamble life...

Kevin 21 months ago

I lost a total of $130 in Las Vegas. This number does not include travel expenses, just gambling.

stevex36x 21 months ago

not gambled so far this year but slipped up today and lost 600 pound in a fobt! so need to start all over again now! i must just stay out of these evil bookies.

mal100 21 months ago

been one for years now, you might say what the f/// he on about. We live in another world when we gamble, we let know in our cocoon,how wrong we are to do this.

stevex36x 21 months ago

we got to not start gambling as we know when we start we can,t stop! so we can never win as we never can stop!

Hope2015 21 months ago

Hi new to posting here but I've been reading all your posts and can relate to each one of you in some situation is the hardest because I'm trying to quit and recover from this horrible addiction but my whole family literally gambles mom, dad, brother and sisters...I can't distance myself from them because they are my family. I feel alone at times and want to give in but I try to stay strong it's only Day 7 feels like eternity...won't give up hope that someday I will be successful in overcoming this addiction.

Pokerpare 21 months ago

I have just spent the entire day reading every single post. I am a 47 year old woman that has been gambling for as long a I can remember. I have made over $2 million in earnings and have nothing to show for it. I have declared bankruptcy twice and am now in a consumer proposal to pay over $100k in back taxes. I am also facing fraud charges. I stole from a previous employer. My marriage ended because we both were toxic with gambling and drinking. I'm now engaged to an amazing man and although I've cut down on my gambling a lot it's still too much. I've changed a lot but not enough. I have to stop completely. And now is the time. Today is day one.

videopokerloser 21 months ago

Such sad stories here. I'm still fighting it myself having moved back to Las Vegas, but amazingly, it's easier because the slot machines are so bad here (as they are everywhere, I imagine). Gambling is the corporate way to just keep people in their place - the rich get richer and the poor get poorer which is why casinos keep sprouting up everywhere in this country and around the world. The best thing for me is not to enter a casino for any reason. Here, you can pay your bills, cash your paychecks - they've thought of every reason to get you in the door so temptation takes over for us who are vulnerable. Don't let them get your hard earned money out of you. Over the years, I've seen so many broken souls due to gambling. I was almost one myself. :(

Kevin 21 months ago

I ordered the books "Addixtion by design" and "Gambling addiction real stories" from the list of recommended books on this page. They should be interesting reading.

Jacob 21 months ago

I haven't been here for a while but thought I'd come back because its been exactly 2 months and I haven't gambled a penny.

I am proud of myself but my best friend just won £2,800 from £50 on roulette and I suddenly have this massive urge to go to the casino. I need to stay strong but I haven't had an urge like this for a while.

BennyUSA 21 months ago

Stay strong... My friend Jacob ! Don't get tempted because of winnings..... There's no the end u lose it all

21 months ago

I am scared of what my future holds, I want to let go of the self destruction, lies, secrets, shame, guilt, and remorse of my past...I've done GA..which caused more problems for me as it became a new addiction and I didn't focus enough on my own recovery, but everyone else. Another relapse a year later...tried a counselor...made me uncomfortable..relapsed again...saw another counselor...also awkward. Now, about 3 years later...another relapse kept secret from everyone in my life and now facing losing the love of my life...15yrs married. Went with close friend to all casinos in area and self-excluded myself "for life" was intense..I'm hoping to be able to forgive myself some day, but I cant believe or even begin to understand how I could continue to hurt the people I love the most in my life...fckng hate myself right now...many of your stories had me crying my eyes out as I can relate. Stupid. Stupid fckng machines! I'm way to scared to do anything illegal, so I'm hoping this is it for me. I have a lot of work to do on myself to reach the world I desire that is real, possible, and can exist. Currently in misery.

Pokerpare 21 months ago

8 days and no gambling. Not that unusual for me though since I can go a couple of weeks and be just fine. Should be okay though since I'll likely be on house arrest in two days as a result of my horrible decisions. I'm ready for it. Been waiting for almost 4 years for this to be over. My fiancé has said he's going to stick with me through all of this and I know he will. If I don't stop gambling I'll lose him and thay scares me more than anything else. Still feeling strong. Hang in there everyone. Oh and K.... If you're feeling uncomfortable about counselling you're probably doing the right thing. We as addicts tend to stay away from anything uncomfortable and that's what gets is into trouble so if you can manage it. Face the awkward and uncomfortable stuff. At least for me that's when I know I'm doing something that I need to do.

21 months ago

Thnx pokerpare. I have been told that dealing with the pain of the destruction we cause and even talking about some factors that are non-gambling related that could have helped build a path to my illness would be extremely challenging. The security staff was congratulating me & telling me I was doing the right thing by self-excluding myself...they even told me other casinos I should do the same at that I've never been to. I used to be the social butterfly and enjoy being with friends & family more than anything...I have missed a great deal of quality life time isolating myself with this insane addiction. When I am feeling uncomfortable, awkward, and pain in recovering...I don't want to forget the depression and devistation I am in now.

Mike 21 months ago

There is a very good ebook i read on Amazon kindle online, it's called ""how I stopped gambling"" I only read it a few days ago and I feel like my life changed after I finished reading it, absolutely amazing 21 months ago

I want to read more stories, so I can learn from theirs experience, that I m not alone.

Pokerpare 21 months ago

Well I'm on my way to court to find out my fate. The few people in my life that know about this are all rooting for me. I feel loved. Strange thing is people that I'm in a professional career in financial services. I am quite successful but that wasn't enough to feed this demon addiction. It's never enough. Here's hoping for the best.

Pokerpare 21 months ago

I am officially a convicted criminal. This is the last humiliation I will suffer at the hands of this addiction.

BennyUSA 21 months ago

Gambling addiction is the worst....pls. Stop it! I'm struggling too....but I never lost hope! Thinking of destruction if I don't stop! I'm buried in debts already ....I work so hard to pay it back....god is good! In god ..we trust.....keep the faith in god....there's hope!

Kevin 21 months ago

I had a good week gambling this week. Wednesday I went to a different Indian casino. I decided to risk $20 at blackjack. I turned it into $50 and then lost $10 back. I was tempted to keep playing, but I thought "Bull****! They are not getting it all back". I lost $ on slots, for a net win for the day of $14. The buffet cost $12.99 + $1 tip, so I left the casino one cent richer than when I walked in. Thursday I went to my favorite Indian casino. I had a $5 match play and my monthly e-mail offer of $10 free slot play. I won the match play and then lost the next hand and stopped. I lost $3 of the free $10 for a net win for the day of $12.

During my recent trip to Las Vegas I went to Heart Attack Grill for a free burger (I weigh over 350 pounds). They sell candy cigarettes there (the place stands against all forms of political correctness). They were readily available back in the 1970s when I was a kid, until almost all stores got rid of them due to fears that they encouraged kids to smoke. I decided to buy a pack. Then I went to a casino and pretended to "smoke" them while playing slot machines (one penny at a time). I put the pack on the machine's control panel like many real smokers do. I even ordered a non-alcoholic beer to go with it. Here I was pretending to be a Vegas party animal: fake cigarettes, fake beer, and technically real gambling. I thought it was cool. Bystanders probably thought that I was an idiot.

BennyUSA 21 months ago

Sad to know ....pokerpare! Our prayers be with u....keep the faith!

Pokerpare 21 months ago

So far I'm very lucky. I have kept my job. My employer knows and supports me. I feel so blessed to be able to still work and serve my sentence under house arrest. I'm banned from any gambling for 15 months. This jis maybe the kick in the ass that I needed.

Kevin, I appreciate your personal position about gambling but I think you fail to realize how your posts affect those that cannot gamble moderately. Please be considerate of the rest of us. It's like going on an alcoholic page and bragging about drinking moderately. I'm glad it works for you but perhaps you can consider how difficult it is for the rest of us.

darwin 21 months ago

I won 1.2 mil in 2007 it was NOT a blessing it was a curse i wish i never won its ruined my life, my spouse left me, my friends think im a jerk, god help me before its too late....

videopokerloser 21 months ago

Pokerpare, I'm glad you're looking at this positively and grateful for the things you do have. Few employers would be so understanding. I'm personally just bitter when I think of all the money I've lost gambling. I live in Las Vegas and I'm doing better since I moved back here a few months ago, but even my small losses are getting on my nerves and keeping me awake at night. I went to the casino just to activate some entries, and damn if I didn't put everything in my pocket in a machine when I swore I wouldn't. It pisses me off I'm so weak this way. I don't understand why it has a hold on me. I'm hoping that I'm close to a breakthrough and soon will be completely over with gambling. I think inside that is what is happening to me.

Kevin. Please go on another forum and brag about your self least with gambling. Maybe you think it's helpful to us, but it's not.

Darwin, winning that much money would be a dream to most of us, but before I'd probably do the same as you are, if you mean you're gambling it away. I hope you stop before you have nothing left, because that's what will happen. No one stays a winner for too long.

Pokerpare 21 months ago

This house arrest just may be the best thing that ever happened to me. I've accomplishes more in the last four days than I have in a year. And I'm grateful for the opportunity. I sincerely am grateful.

videopokerloser one of the things that has helped me is to learn to let go of the loses. Accepting that the money is gone will help you stop chasing it. I don't think about the money I've lost anymore. It's gone and I am actually glad it's gone. Because when I accepted that I realized that I'm free. I'm at peace with it and truly don't care about it anymore.

Please know that you are in my thoughts and I wish you strength to overcome this demon.

frank49er 21 months ago

Hi guys. its amazing that this stories seem to resonate with me.I feel blessed being around this team. Where can i start?? I have gambled away my rent...i have burrowed bank loans to start up a business but wasted it all on betting. I have a job but my mind is never afraid if am not careful i might loose everything. just this week i gambled my rent money and i have been told by my landlord to leave.i will be girlfriend has bailed me out many times but she is tired..i feel so hopeless..i feel like the only way i will stop is when i get all my losses back...and this is the biggest lie lost

Pokerpare 21 months ago

Well I've made it through my first week of house arrest. I've accepted it now and am going to do my time with as much dignity as possible. In case anyone is wondering, I stole over $70,000 from a previous employer due to my gambling addiction. Hence the criminal conviction.

One of the things that I find interesting is how many people on here are chasing their loses. I understand it but I've said goodbye to all that and only look to the future now. The guilt and remorse only made me want to gamble more. I don't care about the money I've lost anymore. It's just money. I'd rather have my freedom and a clear criminal record than have all that money back.

Take care everyone!

feeling helpless 20 months ago

I have read a lot of comments and am in the same boat. I yelled at my kids because I lost a lot this morning. I'm depressed anxious and miserable. How do you quit gambling. I do it right on my phone. I smashed 3 phones since August. I need help.

Benny USA 20 months ago

You are not alone... Feeling helpless! I'm also struggling from this gambling almost knock me out emotionally ,phisically n most of all financially! It hurts.... It happens!...I ask the higher power to help me.....change my life.....I live with my faith..... Move on in life... There's hope my is good...don't let gambling destroy your life.....STOP! your life will change to better....god bless!

Kevin 20 months ago

Put Gamblock blocking software on your phone.

BennyUSA 20 months ago

Hello people ...hope all is well...just got my refund money from tax filing...there's slight urge to gamble but I ignore it! I might just buy what I want....that's a sure win! I hate gambling...pls. Stop! You will have a much better life!

Pokerpare 20 months ago

Hey everyone.

It seems that people keep asking how to stop. I think it's different for everyone but the best advice I can give is to keep researching and gather as much information about it. Knowledge is power and since we feel so powerless it's the best place to start.

For me I've come to realize that it's an escape from life when it gets hard. Since I can't gamble anymore I have two options. I can find another escape or u can face life's problems head on. Something amazing is happening to me. I'm facing them and the accomplishments are empowering. I'm feeling pride. Which is something I haven't felt in a long time! I'm actually cleaning up the massive mess I've made and although the progress is slow it feels so much better than any gambling win I've ever had!!

Don't give up! Keep trying to face it all. That's the key. Don't run from all the problems. Just turn and face them head on. And in time you'll feel it shift.

stopppp 20 months ago

First thing you have to do is to forgive your self and stop thinking about getting your losses back because your gonna end up losing more.....

Pokerpare 20 months ago

Exactly! I never think about the money I lost. If I do then it just makes me angry with myself. It's just money. It's not happiness. I'm focusing on completing my sentence and doing whatever I can to repair the damage. I have over $200,000 in debt, but each month that goes by that number is going down and my pride and self worth is going up. Focus on the things that bring you pride and happiness.

As I've said before I'm happier now than I've ever been. Life is good without gambling!!

Pat 20 months ago

Just hate life right now , well hate myself more specifically. The wheel of death has me deep in its grasp , and I just cannot escape . Damn roulette !!!

I don't no what it is or why but I can't help but play , I no the eventual outcome , my bank balance shows me that , and I have nothing to show for it , but it doesn't matter where it is either a casino or in a bookies , fobt are the worse !! Where every you go there is a bookies just round the corner with at least 4 of these fobt in . I wish they would ban them would make my life a lot easier . I'm addicted to playing them and need help to stop , but can't seem to manage it , life doesn't feel enjoyable anymore , I've lost friends because of my gambling and my family barely speak to me because of how I am , I can't even begin to put a figure on the amount I have lost because I would be sick . I don't go out anymore, don't have many friends and barely speak with family all because of my gambling addiction , I am below rock bottom , and i am looking for a way out , just can't seem to find it ,

Pokerpare 20 months ago

Pat please know that you are not alone. Weak struggle with this horrible addiction. The key is to find the strength in yourself to take small steps every day.

One thing that helped me is to play the scenario through in my mind. When you get that urge and all you can think about is gambling the. Think about what happens afterwards. The depression and anger and regret. And try to find one person to trust and tell them that you're feeling very tempted and need help. For me, it's my fiancé. He helps me through it.

Hang in there. Keep trying to find the answers. Life can be good again. I promise

Pat 20 months ago

Thanks for the response and support Pokerpare , I will definately give that a try , and see how I get on . The main difficulty for me is finding some one to talk to as I work anti social hours , and often end up in a bookies as soon as they open , which is when I finish work , but I will give it a go and I hope that life can be good again , because I really am finding it a struggle right now , and gambling ruins every aspect and controls me with out me even knowing and I just need to stop , hope fully I can , and thanks again .

Pokerpare 20 months ago

Pat. Have you read any books? Gone to counselling? Attended groups? That's a great place to start because then you'll gather tools to help you. Are you gambling because you're bored? Lonely?

indian 20 months ago

The pain is real! I find mysel just sitiing in the casino cursing at myself asking the same questions why?? why this? why that? just to do it all over again . The shame is real sometimes i feel like im worthless like i shouldve known better. i day dream all the time thinking about the big hit and then going to try make the dream come through. Win a couple hundred to lose a couple thousand. Begging god for that one hit, i hope everyone including myself comes to their senses n realize what we are doing to ourselves . its 8 in the morinig i spent all night in the casino n this is the only comfort i could find . It helped a little hopefully i can b strong n do what i have to do i wish u all the best of luck (insider)

MD1982 20 months ago

Hello everyone.

I've been reading posts off here for the past two days.

I am a compulsive gambler. I am addicted and have been addicted to the fobt in bookmakers for over ten years. I have probably lost around £30,000 in them. I live with my mother, I can't drive, I have nothing to show in anything. I am a nobody and have nothing and it is all because of gambling. I have seriously contemplated suicide a few times. I do not want to live like this. I am in so much debt. I cannot even cry anymore. I would think the only way to stop is to be dead

Kevin 20 months ago

I was at my favorite casino today. I saw an old woman with around $750 in credits on a penny machine. She was betting $3 per spin. I started playing the machine next to her for my usual one penny per spin. after she had lost $150 I told her "don't give it all back". She replied that she had been at the casino for over 24 hours and had lost over $4000! I hope she is rich and can afford it. I can't imagine losing that much in one year, let alone one day.

I am about halfway through the book "Addiction by design. Machine gambling in Las Vegas" that is advertised on this page. I totally relate to what it says about falling into "the machine zone". I figure that if you must get into "the machine zone", and I must, then at least enter as cheaply as possible.

BennyUSA 20 months ago

You are not alone....MD1982! We are all struggling.....I'm fighting this illness everyday....f******king urge is there...I hate it!Be strong my is good..focus yourself in a better way....u can do it..there's hope!

MD1982 20 months ago

@BennyUSA Thanks for the kind words. I just can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. Life is truly horrific. I lost money my father left me after he died.

Pokerpare 20 months ago

we can always make more money my friends but we can't make back the time and energy we spent on the machines so please don't focus on the money. The money is the problem. It's the devil. Forget about the money and focus on the time and experiences with family and friends and yourself!

Hang in there everyone.

jones 20 months ago

Thank Christ I only had a compulsion to play those bandit video slots and had no other gambling habbits draining my money so it was a matter of staying away from the track slots for me. My bills are a priority and when I got to the point I had to worry about my bank balance it was time to stay away from the track because obviously I was losing too much and dipping in to savings to shore up my account at the end of the month to ensure

I had adiquate funds to cover my bills. It was time to quit while I was ahead. That's all it took , a desicion to stay away and do other things that don't cost so much and allow my account to recover to sensible levels.

MD1982 20 months ago

@jones dip into savings?? Most compulsive gamblers have no savings. You ARE LUCKY

Gambler 20 months ago

I want to stop but I keep rationalising the next bet. This month I used what little saving I had, I have been gambling for a very long time ruining past and possibly present relationships.. I cannot stop gambling I see no end I only see the next bet.. I have kept it a secret from all my loved ones. I need to stop because I don't want this to kill me

Pokerpare 20 months ago

Gambler, tell your family and your friends. I know that's scary for many reasons. You're afriad they'll judge and reject you. But you'll find out who is truly going to be there for you through this struggle. Also this demon lives through secrecy. So when you expose it and bring it into the light it doesn't have as great a hold on you. Take the first step and tell everyone that's important to you. It also brings some accountability. I know your biggest fear is that if everyone knows then you can't continue to gamble but trust me when I say that it is the first step in ending this horrible addiction. Please. I beg of you. Tell them.

gambler looser 20 months ago

Gamble are scary. So you better quit 'NOW' . When you sleep It can make you wake just to go with it. Even inside your dreams their in.its like a demon keeping you to get worst and worst. Feel numb to everything. Don't want to talk to anyone when you loose on gamble, the matter is i am being selfish.i don't care about the feelings with the people surrounds me. They love me and i don't want to lose them so i want to quit now. i always say that i want to quit 'NOW' but still i did it many times. I quit couple of months then again i'm back to the world of sickness. I do know how to get rid off gamble but i cant. i feel that i am so insane about gamble, wishing that someday i can wake and say no gamble at all. Wish me luck. And God bless you all.

NoSlots 20 months ago

First post on this site:

. I read the posts of those who lost everything gambling, and still went back, but that did not stop me from continuing on with my gambling problem at the slots. Because I was only blowing a hundred ,1 or 2 times a month, I felt that I was in control and enjoyed the excitement and entertainment. I didn't think I had a problem or was out of control, until it became a couple visits a week and 2- 3 hundred plus each visit. I found myself chasing my loses and realized that I was now a compulsive gambler ,when it came to slot play. I would “play to play “ Any winnings meant I could play longer thereby very rarely walking out with any money in my pocket. It's been about 2 years since I became a compulsive gambler. The good thing was ,I started to keep track of dates and wins (seldom) and losses each time I went. This gave me a clear message as to the progression of my problem and the extent of my losses which were steadily increasing. I thought, that having been financially responsible all my life ,that this would stop me but it didn't. I still would get the urge and go back for entertainment and try and win back some money. I knew the only solution was to stay away period, but HOW?

I felt if I could come up with something that would reward me by not going to the slots, that just might help. I added up all my losses for the past year and broke it down to a daily cost. I made a spread sheet in which I put in the date and day and how much I saved by not going to the slots. Also I kept track of how strong the urge to gamble was each day. This seemed to keep me focused and it worked for about 6 weeks, but then I went back to where I was before. So now I'm starting over again.

Compared to a lot of your stories, I feel very blessed to not have not had a major effect on my family or finances to this point but you have shown me it would only be a matter of time if I don't quit.

If this can be of help to anyone than that would be the greatest blessing I can get from sharing my story.

God Bless

stevex36x 19 months ago

well i not bet for over 6 weeks and it was the first day of cheltenham this week so just thought i will try a 50 pound bet as i won,t do any harm! i thought i will stick on these top 4 horses all to win and the 3 won easy and i had about 500 going on this last horse called annie power to win about 800 and it was clear coming to the last fence and fell!! i was so sick even though it was just 50 pound i lost really but in my head it seemed like 800! so i ended up going on the roulette machine and lost another 250 as i went to the cashpoint 3 times! what is wrong with me? i will never ever be in control of this evil illness! feel so bad now and depressed and had enough of life!

Kevin 19 months ago

A man on the bus back from my favorite casino today told me that he lost $1000 to the roulette machine, $100 per spin for 10 spins back to back in about 5 minutes. He said that it was his tax refund and that he might as well spend it on something, so it was no big deal. Losing $1000 sure would be a big deal to me! My tax refund will be over $1000 and I am not going to gamble it. Well, I will be going to Las Vegas in May and might lose up to $200 (hopefully much less than that) and another approximately $600 for hotel, bus, city bus, food, pinball, and a ride wristband at the fair.

Kevin 19 months ago

In mid July there is an arcade game convention that I would like to go to, but for the second year in a row it looks like I will probably not be able to get off work to go. So just like last year I will likely make another trip to Las Vegas sometime in August. The last several months I rarely get a Sunday off anymore; I am almost always off on weekdays, when it is so convenient to ride the bus to the Indian casino. It's like it is my destiny to go gamble with all of my free time! Not a lot of excitement here in Bakersfield California. Next month Six Flags Magic Mountain will be open weekdays, so I will have somewhere else to go for fun instead of going to the casino every day off.

Pokerpare 19 months ago

Kevin, how old are you?

It seems like you prefer to brag about your gambling expiditions, which is fine, but it really is very disrespectful to the others on this site that are struggling with this horrible addiction.

Is it possible for you to find another site to post on?

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