Naturally Thin: Skinny, Not Anorexic


"Skinny Girls Have No Right to Complain"

I have been thinking about writing this article for years, but there have been a number of things holding me back. I'd felt like being naturally thin was a curse, but I never had an outlet for it. I'd get picked on at school for a number of reasons especially for liking science, which was not "right" for a girl and for being so thin.

The biggest hurdle in writing this is that I've always been told that I should feel lucky that I'm this thin. So, what right do I have to complain?

I didn't grow up hearing, "you're lucky." Instead, I'd hear nasty comments. I had a friend in high school who was heavier and she would always complain about how large she was and how no guy would ever love her. I always thought she was so pretty and envied her beautiful blonde hair. However, one day I overheard her saying something to the effect of, "Well you know, skinny girls are all b*tches!" She wasn't talking about me, but the comment still made me feel bad.

It was comments like these, that happened to come from larger women, that made me think twice about writing this.

I never felt like I was allowed to be upset about being disliked for my weight. I was lucky. I was thin and never really had a complaint about how I looked. Not that I'm drop dead gorgeous (wouldn't that be nice), but I just worried about other things growing up ---> school and being picked on.

My friends convinced me to go to prom. I won prom queen. I left shortly after my crowning, unable to cope with the large amount of attention.
My friends convinced me to go to prom. I won prom queen. I left shortly after my crowning, unable to cope with the large amount of attention. | Source

My Design Specifications

I am somewhere around 5 feet, 4 inches and weigh somewhere between 100 pounds and 110. For those of you who are whipping out your BMI calculators, my body mass index is a little under 18.

Apparently it's genetic, my mom was unusually thin as a child and would get picked on... and her mother... and her mother. There's this story where she toured a bread factory on a field trip and they gave each child a slice of bread. One of the employees looked at my mom with pity/concern on her face and said, "You can have two."

Getting Picked On In School

It started in 4th grade, when I wanted to play soccer with other kids on the playground. I was disallowed because I was too little. At this point, there was no real bullying, just little comments here and there. I was really into dinosaurs, anyway, so I had pretend geology and explorer adventures to go on during recess, anyway!

I weighed 45 pounds in the 5th grade and as some of the other kids started getting their growth spurts, my small size attracted more attention. I remember girl on the playground asking me my weight and when I replied, she said, "that's how much a kindergartener weighs... you should be dead." Other than that, I still had friends. The comments increased and their was more exclusion, but at this point I was still a fairly happy kid.

6th grade is when things took a turn for the worse. My playground fossil explorer games weren't popular with other kids anymore. Boyfriends, perfume, and dark lipstick were super popular and some kids were even having sex at this point. The comments went from mean to cruel and I became really introverted almost overnight. When I came home from school, I would hide in my closet, crying until dinner. One day, I was picking through some pebbles in the same (my dad had shown me how to find fossils in the playground pebbles) and a kid playing basketball shouted to me that I was weird. I shot back, "Yeah, well you suck at basketball." The argument went back and forth and was likely hurtful to both parties, but otherwise harmless until our substitute that day, who'd been watching over recess, stepped in and said, "If she's annoying you, you can go at her, if you want." The substitute lost his job over this statement, which at the time I was happy for, but now I feel bad for. He was a college student, just a dumb kid. All the children in the playground, except for some girls on the swings who were acquaintances of mine beat me up. That's about 40 kids. Kicking me in the sand, pulling my hair, throwing sand in my face, until the substitute broke it up. The school district was really proactive over, they took it very seriously, but I couldn't face those kids anymore, so my parents sent me to private school for a few years.

After going to private school, I was pretty confident. I'd made friends and gotten involved in after school activities, learned to use (and love) computers, but private school was very expensive so I returned to public school in the middle of high school. I was terrified to face those kids again, but they were actually really nice by that time -- perhaps their hormones had leveled and, let's face it, everyone is immature in 6th grade.

In high school, most of the weight thing actually came from the guidance counselor. Like I said, the school system was really proactive about things and perhaps, the guidance counselor even saw things that weren't there. She'd set up meetings with me and drop hints about anorexia. At first, I understood her concern but assured her I was fine. In fact, I really didn't care -- other than the weight comments. However, with continued pestering, I started to feel really self-conscious about my weight. I denied being anorexic, but she said that denial is common among those suffering from anorexia. This just seemed to confirm her belief. So any time I'd deny having anorexia, it was my "anorexia" talking. This is kind of funny, in hindsight, but frustrating then.

The worst of it came during my senior year of high school. I was called out of class by the guidance counselor. She took me to the lunchroom and got me a yogurt and sat with me making sure I ate the whole thing. The next day at school an acquaintance came up to me and said, "I heard you're anorexic. If you need anyone to talk to, just know I'm there for you." I was crushed.

At this point, I quit high school with three months remaining. The principal understood my situation and allowed me to finish my coursework at home so that I could graduate on time. The guidance counselor did not return the next fall.

Halloween 2010
Halloween 2010 | Source

Things That Suck About Being Thin

There are a lot of weight loss things out there and, I suppose if I were a heavier girl, I would probably buy into them. I think everyone would like to have a skinny waist, but trust me, you don't want this!

  • Pant size comes up casually in conversation a LOT! Here's how it happens. "You are so thin! What size pants are those? I bet you're like a 0" When they say "0" it's jokingly. Then I answer. There's where it happens, they roll their eyes. And it's just painful. It feels like they don't take me seriously as a human being.
  • They don't stock my size in stores. Stores want to cater to sizes that people actually buy! Not even online stores stock my size! There have been so many times I've come across a really cool political tee with a great message on it, but the smallest size is small or medium. I swim in a small.
  • No breasts. Not a huge problem, because I was never particularly concerned about breast size, but there is one thing: You always hear about women who get breast implants because they want to fit perfect in their bathing suits. It's understandable, but most of those women really don't need implants.

Now, I don't want implants, but me wearing a swimsuit is a joke. They don't make swimsuit tops in my size. They have those cute bikinis with extra small tops, but even those are baggy on me! Thus, I am forced to join the ranks of the one-piece suit wearers. I'm okay with this as I'm not a huge fan of showing skin, but it'd be nice to have a choice!

I still get called anorexic. It baffles me, I LOVE food! Put a plate of sushi in front of me and I'll go to town! People joke about how I eat salad. They call it "both the soup and the salad" given the amount of salad dressing I use. Even co-workers joke about the fact that I would down a huge lunch in seconds like I'm some sort of voracious animal. While I eat a decent amount of food, I just don't gain weight.

Quick Poll

When you see a really skinny girl, do you think she has an eating disorder?

  • Yes
  • No
See results without voting

How Being Underweight Can Be Worse Than Being Overweight

There are more and more people who are finding their weight isn't "ideal" because they wear something larger than a size 8. Perhaps this is due to busy schedules not allowing Americans free time to go outside and exercise and to the junk that is pumped into food. As more and more people are finding themselves overweight, everyone hears more about it.

There are literally hundreds of fad diets out there -- they all promise to be "the best way" or "the healthiest way" or allow you to "eat what you want." The word "diet" constantly being thrown in a larger person's face can make them feel like garbage.

With all these constant reminders, it's pretty much been stamped into etiquette that you don't call a person "fat" and you don't talk with the person about losing weight. It's seriously just not nice to make comments on how overweight a person is. It's hurtful!

When it comes to being underweight, society throws all that etiquette out the window. It seriously does not exist! If you're a larger person, you've heard comments about your weight. It makes you feel like trash! Imagine getting those comments all the time!

Coping With Anger & Low Self-Esteem

It's been several years since high school, but I still get a lot of comments about my weight from people. People still point out to me that anorexic people deny having an eating disorder. It makes me angry when people say things like that to me. Of course I never show it. I've gotten to be fantastic at pretending things are okay until I get quiet time alone.

There are things I have to watch out for, of course, with being skinny. I get stomach ulcers easily. When I get stressed out, I actually do stop eating. As a skinny person, I have to make sure that I get enough to eat even when I'm stressed --and I have to watch my weight to stay in a healthy zone.

It's a continual battle for confidence. I listen to everything people say and search for their intentions or any ulterior motives... and there's guilt I get when I don't give people what they want. Sometimes it makes me feel like Diane Keaton's character in "First Wives Club!"

There's still a long road ahead of me. I know I don't have an eating disorder. I just need to work on no longer making excuses for being who I am. I'll just have to let people know, "I'm naturally thin. I'm just skinny, not anorexic."

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Comments 218 comments

Amanda 12 months ago

Finally someone posts something about people bullying skinny people! I've always been pretty thin and have been teased more for my flat chest rather than my figure. Plus, my thinness never helped my best friend. I felt like a reminder of her "fatness" since she had anorexia. She'd always talk to other people about my skinniness in a way that sounded insulting like it was my fault for being this way. To all girls out there, skinny or bigger, you are all beautiful the way you are! And when people tease you, it's because they don't accept themselves. Don't ever change who you are and be respectful of others. ❤️

DAngelo Bone profile image

DAngelo Bone 20 months ago

Melanie, thank you for this article! As a male, being skinny has been a constant topic. It was used as a way to bully me because I appeared vulnerable or to discuss my lack of masculinity.

My least favorite comments include the anorexia comments but also, "If I was as thin as you, I'd have a date tonight!" Oh, that makes those of us who are thin or have relationship problems feel so fantastic.

I agree that fat shaming is a large problem but it shouldn't be counteracted with comments on our weight class.

And I'm tired of people watching me eat or commenting on my eating habits!

Flora 21 months ago

Thanks for your hub it relates to a lot of us skinny girls. I was and am still the same growing up right now, everyone makes fun of me and my size. I also have a friend who always looks at herself as obese an it tell her about how I hate being this skinny but she always says she rather be skinny then fat. I am almost certain this isn't true cause no one ever picks on her she just lowers her own self esteem whereas I have had to go through years of getting bullied and teased for my weight. Lets hope I soon see the light at the top of the hill! Thank You

ashley havens 2 years ago

I too have have been constantly bullies about my weight. I can honestly relate with you. I have 3 boys and lost all my weight in no time. People say I'm so skinny like its gross to them and say I'm going to blow off when its windy. Has me even thinking I'm gross looking which has caused some real psychological problems such as panic attacks, depression, ugly, anti social. It really does affect me like it would saying anything to anyone about how they look. I hope more people realize that.

Nikole 2 years ago

Thank you!!!

Vanessa 2 years ago

Recently i was at a business conference with a very petite colleague of mine whom had a baby. Another lady joined us and told my colleague she could not imagine her pregnant and did she have any photos of herself pregnant. My colleague looked horrified at this and gave a no. To me it was almost like this lady was questioning how my colleague because she was small could be a woman like her. It was quiet mean i thought. No doubt if she had photos she would have been bullied about how big or small she was.

Kathleen Odenthal profile image

Kathleen Odenthal 2 years ago from Bayonne, New Jersey

This is an excellent article and a story that must be told. I myself am a sufferer, or survivor rather of anorexia, but my best friend was always very tall and lean, and people would make comments to us and I know how they both affected us deeply, in different ways. So much focus is placed on losing weight in today's society that people who are thin are automatically judged in one way or another. Great hub, shared and voted up, interesting and useful!

Anna 2 years ago

I really can't thank u enough for this story. I'm just the same and I hate how wherever I meet someone new they luk at me and go wow ur so thin do u eat? I EAT LIKE AN ELEPHANT and don't gain weight is that my fault? They make me feel like that's a bad thing that I can eat without worrying about getting fat. What's weird is that everyone finds it wrong to call a girl obese but then isn't it just the same calling a girl anorexic? It hurts so bad no one can imagine it. Makes u think whether ur worth it or not :/ thank u again

skye2day profile image

skye2day 2 years ago from Rocky Mountains

melbel, I came over months ago to read your hub. I am back as I saw it posted in the feeds. I admire your honesty. I hope after writing this it gave you the freedom you need to move on and put it behind you.

I understand because I am very thin I am over 60 years old. Growing up I was thin and most girls were envious. My weight was thin on the line of too thin, but now I am very thin. I have lost more weight since I turned 55 I range from 95 to 105 lbs at 5'5' My first and foremost comment is, 'are you ok, you look so thin.' the comment coming in second is, 'do not loose anymore weight.' Third comment, 'are you eating?

I think the biggest concern I have is feeling like I have to defend my self and answer their question. I do not think these people ask fat people questions? I have had suggestions that I may have tapeworm. I do have a respiratory illness that does have some relation to why I am thinner. Most people that have the illness are larger because they do not get enough exercise because of fatigue.

I am grateful you shared a message here. I see there have been many readers. Amen girl. Just to think you have helped many by sharing your story. You have opened the door for many to see how they have possibly harmed another with words. Words are everything they can make or break a person. We can never take them back!!!

Melbel, God is using your story to touch so many hearts!!! He is the healer. I have asked Him to put weight on me. I am working at it as well by trying to shove in more calories. Some are so envious because I can eat what I want and when and where I want. Yet they look at something and gain 5 lbs. So there is a bit of good news in being so thin. We do have the luxury of eating whatever. I have managed to put on 7 lbs and hold it there. It is allot of work to be eating all the time. Sometimes I am not hungry but working to add more calories to the flesh. I am sure you have done the same things.

God created you melbel. He loves you just as you are. People can not help themselves. We are born with wicked hearts. God is the heart changer. We do not need to teach people how to be mean or evil. We all know how to do that. Put two three year old in a room together with one toy! We can pray for those that hurt us. It is for our benefit not to hang on to bitterness or unforgiveness. Not implying you do not forgive those that may have harmed you. Just know they do not know better and are ignorant and if they intentionally hurt you they are wicked. Pray for them. You will see you have compassion for them. Maybe they are insecure and put it out there on others. It makes them feel better.

Anyway does not look like you can reply to all the comments. I understand. No problem. I do pray for you melbel that you come to know Jesus so loves you. He wants you happy. I do pray you are happy and God Bless all of your comings and goings. When we know that I think it gives us hope. We are only in this life for a short time then we will go to where there are no tears if we know Jesus is Lord and believe in Him.

Love you girl. Keep going melbel. Phil 4:13 Skye

Levertis Steele profile image

Levertis Steele 2 years ago from Southern Clime

People get picked on for being fat, skinny, pretty, ugly, black, white, male, female, tall, short, blonde dark, disabled, smart, slow, and a million other things. We must hone our self-esteem in order to escape what we cannot change in others.

Adriennemarie profile image

Adriennemarie 2 years ago from Deptford, NJ

I enjoyed your post and can relate in a lot of ways. I have been naturally thin all of my life. Over the past few years, I have started gaining weight, but as a teenager and into my early twenties, I was always around 105 or 110 pounds ( I am 5'4"). It always bothered me when people came out and asked me if I was anorexic or if I eat. I always had a very high metabolism and was just thin. People treated me like I was a freak or that I should want to gain weight because I was thin. I always ate a lot and just burned all of the calories I consumed. It's nice being a little heavier now (I am 125 pounds) because people don't treat me like I am different. However, I feel like I have to watch what I eat now and make sure to exercise. If you are happy with who you are, you shouldn't be criticized for it.

Vel 2 years ago

5'3 and 83 pounds and not because I want to be the thinnest person in the room. It's not funny when others play get the bone. It's not funny when fat women pick on the thin woman. It's not fun to go to the clothing store and find that the "Target" pants are sewn and sized two sizes to big and for hipsters. I have always been a thin person. I went for an evaluation and they wanted an outpatient commitment for six months 9-7pm.

emilybee profile image

emilybee 2 years ago

Sorry you had to go thru all this! I am the same weight as you and have been thin by whole life. I had all the comments; what size are you, you're so small, but, always from large people. Back then I never said, "well, you are so big" but my mom always pointed it out, how can people comment on ones thinness but to mention ones obesity would be wrong? Perhaps large people should bite their tongue. Now that I'm an adult, when people go oh you are so thin, what a size 0? I say yes you bet!

stickman 3 years ago

I'm having a hard time feeling sorry for the skinny girls, but a big thank you to Mithereal for summing up what it's like for skinny guys. Skinny girls are considered sexy by mostly everyone except other girls...just deal with their cattiness on move on for God's sake.

On the other hand, try being a skinny guy! No respect from other guys, and no girls are interested in you either. Average-size and bigger girls want big men to make them feel "protected". But skinny girls also want the big guys. There's no room for the skinny guy in this - it's a lonely place to be.

Michele Travis profile image

Michele Travis 3 years ago from U.S.A. Ohio

Hi, I was skinny growing up, but gained a little weight in high school. After that I was diagnosed with epilepsy. One of the side effects is the loss of appetite. That was not too bad. I am 4'11" I went down to about 100 pounds. Then I had surgery in 2010. Went down to 85 pounds. Still have to take medication, because the doctors could not take all the lesions off my brain. No matter how hard I try, I cannot get about 95 pounds. I think 95 is fine for someone my size, but people think I have an eating disorder. I have even had people ask me if I am bulimic. Well, most of that was earlier, but you know what I mean. Basically, I am thin and small. Do you know how many times people have offered to give their weight to me?

Great hub.

momof2 3 years ago

I have been skinny my whole life and now have a boy who's skinny... and he's already getting crap from family and others. Sometimes people are just skinny and that's not a bad thing. He eats a ton and is very active... somehow it reflects on me that he's skinny, like I'm doing something wrong.

Sabine 3 years ago

This is seriously how I feel and how my life has been. I´m 28 now and people still tell me I need to eat more. Sometimes at dinner people actually load up my plate with more food and sit there and make sure I eat everything. None of my other family members are skinny, most of them are overweight. Whenever I complain about not finding pants in my size they roll their eyes and tell me that I´m lying, that fat people have it hard, not skinny people.

mithereal profile image

mithereal 3 years ago from Tucson, AZ

i totally understand and im a guy,

it is even more socially unacceptable to be a skinny guy.

im 5.4 and 103lbs and ya the rhetoric , stares, being called a boy, etc kinda makes you not really social. i eat normally and never have weighed over 110, since i cannot gain weight i have no muscle mass, the worst is being called a tweeker and drug addict as i have never used. i dont even try to date for 11 yrs, i got tired of being laughed at long ago, besides women that are size proportionate to me have their pick of men, most men want to date skinny girls, i just want one that's similar in bodysize!!!

vanessa 3 years ago

As a small framed woman 5ft. I'm naturally thin. I'd never comment to a bigger woman on her size as I know how hurtful it is and I'm too wimpy to say a snide remark back when someone says something to me. Not only can people make you feel intimidated when your smaller but that you're inferior.

Ang 3 years ago

This meant a lot to me. -Finally- someone understands. I get questioned almost daily if I have an eating disorder or about how much I ate that day. As well as the questioning are the insults. I never knew people could come up with so many ways to insult someone for being skinny. I have hyperthyroidism so, it isn't exactly easy for me to gain weight. I have been taking medication to treat my hyperthyroidism for almost four years and I am still underweight. In this day and age, (I'm a teenager in high school) girls show skin and are basically expected to look pretty and presentable and there are no other skinny people at my school so no one can relate. Every other girl is enviously perfect. I know I need to work on my self esteem and learn to get over this but, it's hard when people are constantly telling you that you're basically not good enough. Anyway, thank you so much for writing this article.It couldn't have been easy to share your story and it means alot to me that you would take the time to do this. It gives me hope. Thank you.

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