Psychiatric Medications Can Cause Homicidal Thoughts
It's been quite awhile since I've written an article on anything. I stopped writing about mental health because I've been feeling well for over three years. But recently, I came to some important conclusions I want to share, and I have the authority to write about this because I have been on psychiatric meds for 25 years. I was diagnosed with bipolar II, which is the less severe one, at age 16.
In this article, I will touch upon these topics:
- Bipolar is not an illness to be ashamed of
- Bipolar people are not dangerous
- Many psychiatric meds cause concerning issues
What I felt like before and after taking medication
Before I was on medication, I felt hopeless, anxious, scared, vulnerable, and manic.
Manic basically means I was not sleeping well, I had a lot of sexual thoughts, and I felt irritable. That's not dangerous. It basically means I was vulnerable to other people. I never had thoughts of hurting other people.
After taking lithium for 20 years, I felt very very irritable a lot of the time. My family didn't recognize me as the person I had once been. It changed me. I never knew there were other meds I could try until later.
Then I took Lamictal, which didn't work too well. After that, I took Depakote for three years. While I felt good, I didn't realize that the homicidal thoughts I was having were from the medication. I blamed myself; I thought it was from feeling overwhelmed, unsafe, or dealing with my parents' aging.
It wasn't until I got fed up with weight gain that I decided to try Tegretol. I've now been on Tegretol for four months. I feel like the person I was before I got sick. I also happen to take an anti-anxiety medication and Seroquel. So far, on Tegretol I've lost 21 pounds! And I no longer have the bad thoughts I once had.
I used to deal with the bad, unwelcome thoughts by praying and reading the bible. But it was most uncomfortable. I am so grateful I don't have those thoughts anymore. People I talked to at church meetings and so forth said it was normal for anyone to have those thoughts from time to time, but I really found mine to be distressing. I didn't have them all the time, and they didn't last long, but they were not good.
The reason I'm writing about my experience is to bring awareness to psychiatric drugs. Tell your doctor about all of your side effects, and be willing to keep trying new medications until you find the one that's best.
What about not taking medication?
I got off Tegretol recently for 12 days. I felt the same until the 12th day—when I had trouble sleeping and also began feeling a bit more sexual, which scared me. So I got back on it.
But there are many people who successfully get off medication, and it's okay to try. I may try again in the future. I could take melatonin for sleep, and I noticed I was able to keep an eye on my behavior, I thought.
Below is a valuable video about staying on, or getting off, psychiatric meds.
Have you suffered from bipolar? What was your approach on medication?
When you see your psychiatrist, make sure you tell them all your side effects. It's best to find medication that does not cause weight gain, also. There are some; for example, Latuda, Tegretol, and Lamictal (those are bipolar meds).
What could be worse than becoming obese, feeling irritable—or worst of all, having homicidal thoughts that you have to fight daily? Many doctors will deny these allegations. But you have to be assertive. You also need to be curious and diligent in explaining your symptoms. You can even ask friends and family to tell you what they notice about your behavior, too.
And, there are support groups like DBSA Depression Bipolar Support Alliance, where you can discuss these things in a friendly atmosphere.
Good luck to you and your loved ones.
No one should want to take medication unless they have to. But medication can greatly increase your ability to function in your life.
Just be careful. Be aware. Be alert. Have family and friends help. And be curious and willing to keep trying new things. Always tell your doctor your side effects and work on improving your quality of life.
Having bipolar is not a crime. Having bipolar does not mean you are a danger to others. It just means you may need a medication to help you.
Please leave comments so I can address any questions. Thank you.