What People Fear Most About Growing Old

Updated on June 21, 2017
Dreamworker profile image

Dreamworker is a retired educator. She offers a frank reflection of the realities of aging.

Aging is a normal life process that people increasingly worry about as they make their journey into their older years.

Young people never think about it, and middle-aged people may try to fight it—but in the end, the process always wins.

It rears its ugly head around the age of 30 when people begin to notice a few wrinkles, a few gray hairs and maybe the onset of health problems.

This is a tricky time, because this new view of life can lead to the making of numerous decisions, many of which (such as divorce and job change) can affect the course of a person's life.

People fear aging for good reasons, but those who plan well often have less to worry about.
People fear aging for good reasons, but those who plan well often have less to worry about. | Source

What Is There to Fear?

Regardless of how beautiful or handsome, rich or poor, popular, hard working, loved, admired or respected the average person was when he or she was younger, many of those attributes slowly fade away as time passes.

What remains later in life for most people is diminished mental and physical capacity, disease, pain and suffering.

Knowing that these things are lurking in the future creates a subtle discomfort that eats away at the psyche and makes people want do whatever they can to avoid facing these issues.

However, the truth is that all of the makeup, plastic surgery and attempts at youthful behavior will not stem the flow of time.

Looking and acting young is not the same as being young!

Loss of Youth

Aging doesn’t happen all at once. It is a slow, agonizing process that many people feel is a fate worse than death.

They try to look and act younger so that they will be noticed and make society think they still matter.

However, in the end, they fail.

They soon learn that to be old means to be untouched, unloved, weaker, more needy and somehow less worthy

Loss of Independence

The aging process begins the moment people are born and ends with a complete loss of independence and control.

  • Health fails.
  • Tasks take longer to do or require assistance.
  • More time is spent doctoring and
  • Mental and physical disability take over lives.

As a result of these issues, people socialize less, stay home more and live in constant fear of falling or being struck with a serious illness. If you are lucky, you have loved ones who can help you or enough money to hire people for assistance. If not, you struggle and live in fear until finally you are forced to move into some sort of supervised living facility.

Many elderly become completely dependent on others for help.
Many elderly become completely dependent on others for help. | Source

Debilitating Illness

It is when your body is at its weakest that major illnesses show up.

Once they do, people rarely are able to get rid of them. Many are very painful, and required medications usually have very negative side effects.

These are harsh lessons for people who always assumed that doctors can cure any illness. They can’t.

Once individuals get diseases such as Arthritis, Alzheimer’s disease, Diabetes and Degenerative Disk Disease, they spend the rest of life just trying to hold them at bay.

These things happen even to those who took care of themselves throughout their lives, but they generally happen sooner and more often to those who did not.

Financial Problems

Far too many people assume that the monthly income from Social Security will be enough to support them once they retire, but this simply is not true.

Since the current average Social Security benefit right now is just under $1400 per month, it should be obvious that this will not be enough money to pay basic living expenses.

In order to earn enough passive income to survive comfortably, older people also need investment and pension income.

Since pensions no longer exist for many people, most have to depend solely on the income from their investments and Social Security.

Unfortunately and for a variety of reasons, the great majority of elderly people end up trying to live on Social Security income, which basically means they are living in poverty.

This means they spend what is left of their lives living in substandard conditions.

Those with good incomes live better because they are better able to

  • socialize,
  • get quality health care,
  • travel and
  • live in decent housing,

but all the money in the world cannot protect them from the other issues involved with aging.

Loss of Loved Ones

Nobody wants to die, but nobody wants to outlive the people they love, either. Unfortunately, people have little choice in these matters.

As time goes on, those who live long lives often must suffer through the deaths of the people they loved the most.

Some, who live too long, end up outliving everybody they ever knew!

For many the thought of having nobody left in the world who knows and cares about you or can help you in times of need is worse than dying.

One of the biggest fears of old age is outliving  people that you love.
One of the biggest fears of old age is outliving people that you love. | Source

Isolation

People tend to think that the relationships they have when they are young will remain the same throughout life, but this rarely happens.

  • The portrait of a loving family taking care of mom and dad in their older years is mostly false. Caretaking is hard, frustrating and tiring work, and most children have little appetite for it.
  • Friends move away, pass away or end relationships due to conflicts.
  • People become too frail or sick to be able to socialize.
  • Only the most fortunate still have good relationships with others as they move on into their later years, and many of those are fleeting.

Becoming isolated due to these problems can be depressing and lonely, but unless the elderly who find themselves in this situation are able to move into some sort of group living situation, they spend the rest of their lives alone.

Loss of Control

The biggest fear for most elderly people is that they will end up in a nursing home or assisted living facility.

They know that this means they will lose all control over their lives because the costs involved in staying in these places can be as high as $14,000 per month, which means they will have to pay out almost every cent they have in order to qualify for government assistance.

It also means they will never have a normal life again and are likely to become institutionalized.

The Realities of Aging Are Scary

As people age, most become increasingly plagued with problems and needs that tear at their lives. Many

  • live with constant, deep, aching pain,
  • go from day to day without the comfort of simple conversation,
  • wonder how they will pay for their next round of chemo or dialysis,
  • fear yet welcome death and the relief it will bring or
  • hunger for a smile or a hug from someone.

It’s not a pretty picture, and not all of these things happen to every person.

This is why people should take steps early in life to prepare themselves for what is to come by doing whatever they can to build up their finances, maintain relationships and protect their health.

Doing these three things can go a long way towards easing the fears people have about growing old and improving one’s quality of life when the process finally catches up with them.

Do you think that when you grow old people will treat you differently?

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Questions & Answers

    © 2016 Sondra Rochelle

    Comments

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    • Dreamworker profile imageAUTHOR

      Sondra Rochelle 

      21 months ago from USA

      Sally: Each person's experience is different, but unfortunately, in today's busy world, people don't really want to take the time to "be kind" or "courteous" to older people. What a waste!

    • profile image

      Sally 

      21 months ago

      It is my experience that most go out of their way to try to be kind in many ways. It is demeaning to be excluded from conversations as if your thoughts and opinions are not worthy of consideration or would possibly be of interest. Becoming .slower, you are prone to feel that you are in the way and probaby are. It tends to make you try to isolate yourself but there is nowhere to hide. It is especially perplexing when your Dr. makes you feel like you are a lost cause.

    • Dreamworker profile imageAUTHOR

      Sondra Rochelle 

      22 months ago from USA

      denise.w.anderson: What you say is true, but only for some who age. The truth is that if you were dumb and obnoxious when you were young, you'll still be that way when you are old...and maybe even worse!

    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 

      22 months ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      We all age! Since I have joined the "over fifty" crowd, I am finding that others that I don't know refer to me as "that old woman" or other terms that lead me to believe that they see me differently than they used to. There are advantages to aging, however, we are much more wise than we were as young people. We understand a lot more about life, how things work, and the importance of family. Aging isn't all bad!

    • Dreamworker profile imageAUTHOR

      Sondra Rochelle 

      22 months ago from USA

      threekeys: So glad you liked this one. I have shared it on FB and a few other social networking sites, but that's about as far as I can go. It is up to my readers to decide whether they want to get the word out about this hub or not. There is so much hype about aging that people actually come to believe that they can grow old and life will still be good. For some it is, but for most, not so much. As I said in this article..."looking young is not the same as being young". Why people don't get this, I don't know! Thanks for reading and commenting.

    • threekeys profile image

      Threekeys 

      22 months ago from Australia

      I loved your honest openness and sincerity. It was a beautiful hub and you should share this with many.

      I understand....I understand.....

      I am not an elder, yet, and I have never understood why people can treat our elders in a poorly way. It doesn't make sense. They too will become elders. It is everyone's fate. Our fragile-to-be need our thoughtfulness and our protectiveness.

      Please share this hub with many Dreamworker and Dreammaker

    • Dreamworker profile imageAUTHOR

      Sondra Rochelle 

      22 months ago from USA

      Laurinzo Scott: Thanks. I really think people don't understand what it is like for many who are aging. All this talk about "Oh, you're only as old as you think you are" is nothing but hype. In the real world, and for the great majority of people, aging is difficult, painful and often isolating. It's time people realized this and started showing some respect to our seniors.

    • Laurinzo Scott profile image

      Live To Write 

      22 months ago from Phoenix, Az.

      Very significant hub.... Thanks for writing this ONE

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