Do You Hate Your Life? 8 Steps to Make a Positive Change
How'd I get here?
Do you look around every now and again and wonder how on earth you got here? It can seem like we have suddenly arrived to the very place we had hoped to avoid. An unfulfilling job, a challenging relationship, or a life that's lonely and unhappy.
Do you look in the mirror and feel dismay, disappointment or disgust for the person you see looking back at you? Do you avoid the mirror altogether?
The good news is, it doesn't have to stay this way!
Life Happens whilst we Aren't making plans
To go forward to the solution, we need to take a minute to acknowledge the patterns that got us here in the first place.
Did you actively plan the future you wanted, or did you wake up every day and plan to get through just that one day in a survival mode?
What were your dreams and passions as a child or a teen? Did you follow any of those or did the naysayer in your head convince you it was too big a dream or you were incapable of getting there?
Did your parents encourage you to follow your dreams and help you define the steps to get there, or were you left to figure it out on your own whilst they tangled their own infinitely long and stressful to-do lists every day?
Its really important to acknowledge that for the first six years of your life, your brain was in theta or "hypnosis" mode, which means that you recorded everything your parents and immediate family did and emulated it as your foundation for life. If your parents were positive role models, supportive and encouraging, financial powerhouses or successful in their fields, that's fantastic. However, if your parents struggled with their own financial, relationship or career issues then I'm sorry to say, you are probably still re-enacting some of their story, rather than your own.
Yes You Can!
The good news is, once you recognise your challenges, they are in fact pretty easy to fix! It can take some time but within a matter of days you can completely shift your life into a more positive and conscious stream of choices.
Grab yourself a piece of paper, get comfy on a seat and follow these simple steps:
The Kindness Diaries on Netflix
8 Steps to Make a Positive Change in Your Life
1. Recognise all the good your parents did as well as their shortcomings and give thanks for them and their guidance. They did the best they could with what they had, just like you.
2. Decide what you want for yourself over the next 6 months, year, 5 years and 10 years or more. It can be very specific like "I want to study engineering" or "I want to meet the girl of my dreams and get married" or it can be a bit more vague like " I want to lose weight and meet new people". Either way, it'll give you some direction and some food for thought.
3. Find some tools to help you get there. There are loads of free online courses on offer nowadays, why not give one or two a whirl and you'll not only learn quickly what you do and do not enjoy, but you'll boost your self confidence, learn some new skills and have something new to talk about.
4. Seek a new mentor or guide. Your parents and family are wonderful people, but they have their own subjective view of you and what you are capable of. Seek out a coach or a mentor who can help you stream line your ideas, set goals and familiarize you with your own natural strengths and resources. Your guide should preferably be someone who can help you identify and remove your limiting beliefs and patterns to help you realise your full potential and discover new paths to joy and abundance you'd never previously considered.
5. Start a gratitude journal and start recording everything wonderful you have in your life. If you have a warm bed, a loving family, food when you need it and running water, you are better off than most of the world's population! More than that, activating gratitude is a great way to both keep you present and focused on positivity, which will unlock some creativity and attract to you more to be grateful for.
6. Fill your day and your mind with positive information. Your subconscious runs 95% of your life and mirrors back to you what it is absorbing. Are you surrounded by joy, laughter and abundance or are you reaffirming to yourself that the world is a big, dark evil place? There are ever more movies popping up with a more joyful approach, try watching something like the Kindness diaries or Happy on Netflix and reconnect with the feeling that humankind and by default you, are a source of goodness and love to all around you.
7. Keep an active list of things you want to do, books you'd like to read or places you'd like to visit. Variety is the spice of life! Get out there and explore this beautiful planet, even if its initially only by trying out a new pub or visiting a new library.
8. Remember to acknowledge all you have achieved and reward yourself, Its all too easy to get stuck in a cycle of self degradation and focusing on our own shortcomings and failures, which will only keep you stuck in where you were, not in where you are going.
30 Days to Infinity
Give yourself 30 days of change—a personal, mini boot camp. Just 30 days of trying new things, being grateful for who you are and what you have and how much still you have to explore will undoubtedly change you and your life, forever.