So Hard to Spot a Guiding Star on a Stormy Night
A Soul Without Inspirations
A soul without inspirations is like a ship in the open sea without a rudder—drifting aimlessly, pushed around by waves, destined never to reach a safe harbor. Inspirations are the ones that give birth to our goals and to our very purpose for living. They also provide the emotional fuel of determination necessary to reach those goals.
When every inspiration is gone, every lighthouse goes dark at the edge of our sea, and our life is merely reacting to every wave. Soon, even a ripple feels like a tsunami, making us feel doomed to stay off any course worth taking.
Now, inspirations that have the power to catapult us into a new realm of intimate and outer reality may be of a positive or a negative nature. Namely, those positive ones are stemming from an already established playful eagerness for a curious seeking new avenues for our expression; whereas negative ones get generated by our hitting a bottom, when the only direction left is "up."
More than we would ever suspect, so many of those masterpieces of art were such results of a birthing labor pains of a genius - not of an idling happy soul just shifting into a creative gear. They were a deep pain daring to see the light of sun only dressed into dignified garments of art; a scream of a soul looking for its acceptable expression, oftentimes as an alternative for a death wish - when creating remained as the only excuse for facing the next morning.
Indeed, when a storm is obscuring the view at heavens to provide a guiding star, we are left with a simple choice - to either cry in despair, or to recognize an uplifting music in the sound of the storm.
When Life Hurts Enough to Change
A story told by the popular motivational speaker and author Anthony Robbins comes to mind. While describing his creative beginnings he mentions how as a young man he used to live in a small room without a kitchen, having to wash his dishes in the bathtub.
All until that situation picked up a momentum of a negative inspiration at which he just couldn't accept it anymore, and his brainstorming over life's possibilities of change brought him to a reality in which he bought a castle at the edge of a steep, flew his own helicopter, and was coaching generals and corporate executives.
Like a poet said it: "...And blessed be that dark shadow, for there must be a light putting it there". Hey, what poet am I talking about - it was me in one of my teenage poems.
There seems to be only one bad thing to be said about inspirations - folks are not looking for them. Imprisoned in their self-created dungeons of mediocre life expectations, so many are merely surviving within the confines of limitations dictated by their vulnerable ego.
They don't seem to dare to have a dream, to be inspired by a spiteful spirit that refuses to be tamed into submission by those few memories of past failures; to junk that nightmarish soap opera in which they are playing a chronic victim, and to replace it with audacity of a heroic story where they could triumph in some victories - no matter how small.
Inspirations, Show Yourselves!
There are no visible paths to that blessed change being offered by that mountain of a self-help literature. Instead, all it takes is an honest peek into our soul, the one that's providing our daily spark of life and giving us an incentive to get up from bed - even if that may only look like an excuse for visiting the bathroom.
That brief consulting with our soul may give us that negative inspiration and sprinkle the ground under our feet with daisies of wisdom - never allowing us to look back again, but march towards a goal of our soul's choice, no matter how small.
For, staying put is stagnation - and anything that means moving on must be better than a status quo that's shaming what is best in us.
It may help us to grab on a muse of inspiration if we just for a moment think of our body, that genius with a default love for life, celebrating every moment of it. Could we join that already ongoing celebration, instead of playing notorious party-poopers, or those taking a back seat and complaining about too loud music overpowering our bitching about life?
Could we find an inspiration by blowing the dust off our baby albums and taking a compassionate look at the baby we used to be? What could we do in this time left to us that would wipe those tears off that angelic face, or even make it smile with gratitude and approval?
Or, maybe we could find that inspiration by fast-forwarding our time to that final life inventory, when looking back we won't find a single good excuse for all those worries, all that bitching, all that dark passion of tormenting ourselves like some lowest and undeserving creatures under Sun.
Indeed, what would it take to look for an inspiration carrying the seed of a new life for us, and for those we love, those whose souls may be secretly hoping that we may finally find willingness to have a dream - and follow it, so that they could give us an overdue applause, or even a tearful standing ovation.
Any Move Is More Promising Than Doing Nothing
Isn't that a sort of comical how nice we can be to our friends, because we want to keep that friendship - while not treating ourselves nearly that nicely. As we invite them for dinner, or to watch a game with us, we make sure that they feel comfortable, we give them our attention and compassion to their complaints, we don't feed them some junk, we don't bore them to death, we entertain them...hey, where do we find all that in our sour-puss mentality which is depriving the same to ourselves?
Indeed, if we treated our friends as we intimately treat ourselves, are we sure they would stay friends?
Well, here we go to the very root of the reasons why we apparently can't get inspired for a life-changing move. Damn it, folks, we don't love ourselves enough! Call it whatever else you want, but that's what it is. For one hidden reason or another, or for a whole bunch of well hidden reasons - we think we don't deserve anything better from what we see around ourselves and inside ourselves.
Time to change that, my human co-travelers on this bumpy road called "life".
Not a time to start blaming ourselves for all those misses, and mistakes, and failures, and what not - as if to add to the self-hate; but time to junk all that emotional crap and find that proverbial square-one. That back-to-the-drawing-board moment.
Some time back in seventies I read a tiny book by dr. Eduard de Bono titled "Lateral Thinking". It made me have a little laugh at myself and a few of my futile attempts to make some substantial changes in my life. It was about lateral and vertical types of logic, showing how the majority of people use the vertical one.
Namely, what we basically do in life - we keep digging the same hole to find water, even after it's obvious that we won't find it there. Lateral thinking means moving our self-deluding asses to another site and try digging there - so, whatever comes out of that digging is more promising than digging the same damn hole.
No Love Deeper Than Being in Love with Life
Life is good, folks, we just have to find our own bliss to follow. As for myself, I would like to live another 72, such is my curiosity about what else I could be, what new patterns of emotional experiencing I could cultivate, and what else is still hiding in my potential to be discovered.
Also, there is that burning curiosity about what will the world look like in the time to come; with new discoveries and inventions to make even funnier those times of my childhood when horses and carts were seen on the roads.
Well, death will have to catch me by surprise, somewhere between two happy belly laughs - because I am not planning it with any of my thoughts, attitudes, or my worldview.
Long ago I found my guiding star - not by looking up during a clear night, but by looking into that universe of my heart where I found a heaven for which no big-enough cathedral has ever been built. That mystery of the unknown is cuddling every atom of my body with curiosity and wonder.
Well, I am not alone, and many of those of my kind have actually been donors to my existing inspiration with their human example of greatness and wisdom. Far from being able to duplicate their masterful ways of literary conveying it, here I am trying to pass some of it on, in my own modest way, hoping that some of you may have enjoyed at least some parts of it.